Chris Harris is an international keynote speaker and executive consultant who focuses on helping others transform their mindset to improve their performance in sales, leadership, and life. He has trained hundreds of companies from over 60 countries, authored eight books, and has been inducted into the Martial Arts Hall of Fame.
The United States Marine Corps (USMC) is trained to improvise, adapt, and overcome all obstacles, regardless of the situation or circumstances. These highly trained and mentally tough “soldiers of the sea” are willing and determined to keep fighting, no matter the odds, until ultimate victory has been undeniably assured. In this article, I will share some important life lessons relating to change and transition that I learned, experienced, and taught during my 25 years as a private contractor working with elite warriors from around the globe.
Before diving deeper into this vital topic, I want to explain the difference between change and transition since these words are often used interchangeably but have subtle, yet significant differences. Change is an external event or situation that can occur intentionally or by surprise. Change that surprises us can leave us with a feeling of unpredictability and uncontrollability. In contrast, transition is the inner psychological process of mentally and emotionally adapting to change. If you are about to board a plane at the airport and the gate agent announces that your flight has just been canceled, this “external event” is an example of unpredictable and uncontrollable change. As you stare at the gate agent with frustration and disappointment while trying to process what just happened and what to do next, this “internal event” is an example of transition.
“Change is the only constant” is an aphorism from the Ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus. He observed that the world was in a continual state of movement and concluded that change was a fundamental aspect of life. In his statement, "You cannot step into the same river twice," he points out the never-ending change of the river itself and the person stepping into it. Life and everything in it is subject to transformation, which I find encouraging because, based on my experiences, the only things that grow in the comfort zone are apathy, complacency, and mediocrity.
Whether the change is intentionally self-induced, the consequence of bad decisions, or entirely out of our control, it is challenging for most people because the status quo is familiar and comfortable. Let’s face it: People know what they like, and they like what they know, and they are prone to resist when the norm is disrupted. However, regardless of how uncomfortable it is, if you want to learn a new skill, break a bad habit, build better relationships, upgrade your quality of life, or adapt to and overcome external change, you must roll up your sleeves and do the work. When an unintended or unexpected change comes out of the field and sucker punches us in a blind spot, things become exponentially more challenging as we are now forced to battle the beast called “uncertainty” that fights us in the octagon between our ears.
If you want to adapt and overcome through change and transition courageously and effectively, arm yourself with the knowledge outlined in these eight steps:
1. Talk or write it out
Since we cannot heal what we do not acknowledge, the best first step when feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious is understanding the source of our emotions and feelings. If you have someone you trust not to judge you and to remain confidential, have a transparent and meaningful conversation where you are open to honest feedback. If you don’t have this level of relationship with someone, write or type your thoughts and read them back to yourself out loud. Journaling can be very cathartic, derived from the Greek word “catharsis,” which means to purge or cleanse.
2. Identify your fears
Fear can be a counselor who warns and protects us from danger or a jailer who holds us back, bent on our restraint and confinement. When confronted with the fear of uncertainty accompanying unexpected change, you must identify whether it’s the voice of the counselor or the jailer whispering in your ear. To accomplish this, ask yourself, “What is the likelihood of this happening?” Rational fear is our counselor because it has a reasonable likelihood of happening. Irrational fear is our jailer because it has a low probability of happening and steals from our present by focusing on imagined and unlikely future events. When fear arises, ask yourself, “What is the probability of this happening?” and “Is there something productive I can be doing to change the outcome?”
Note: Metathesiophobia is a “fear of change” that causes people to avoid changing their circumstances because they fear the unknown.
3. Prepare but remain flexible
Procrastination is a form of self-sabotage that puts things off that should be done today until tomorrow. It often rears its ugly head when we become frozen by the fear of the unknown, causing us to avoid our greatest weapon: preparation. When faced with change and transition, we must strike a balance between taking steps to prepare ourselves every day to the best of our ability while remaining flexible so we can adapt when timelines and circumstances change. In the military, warriors and their leaders understand that the best strategies remain fixed while tactics remain flexible and agile.
4. Choose a productive perspective
One of our greatest superpowers is our ability to choose any perspective we want, regardless of the circumstances, and we can do it in a matter of seconds. Perspective is how we look at things and is heavily influenced by our direct and indirect experiences, personalities, attitudes, and beliefs. Choosing a productive perspective that focuses on the positives fairly and accurately, regardless of circumstances, can make all the difference in the world when faced with the challenges associated with rapid change.
Good sailors know they cannot control the wind but can continually adjust their sails, so avoid playing the loop tape of “worst case scenarios” and focus your thoughts and actions on “best case scenarios.”
5. Focus on what you can control during uncertainty
Focus is a simple word with critical importance when enduring change and transition. It is the gateway to thinking that links decision-making, problem-solving, and productivity. Our focus is strongest when distractions are minimal. However, when faced with a sudden and abrupt change, constant distractions are often part of the deal, which means we must grind between the noise and the chaos. To effectively adapt and overcome through change and transition, we must master the art of remaining focused on the things we can control while ignoring the noisy and unproductive distractions of the things we cannot. Remember: Where our focus is flowing, our energy is going, so concentrate your thoughts and efforts on the stuff where you can affect the outcome and ignore the rest because it’s only noise!
6. Practice gratitude and self-care
Not only is gratitude a state of mind, but it is also one of the most powerful human emotions we can willingly express. It is considered a form of self-care because actively practicing thankfulness helps shift your focus to the positive, reducing negative thought patterns and promoting mental well-being. Not only does gratitude align with the core principles of self-care, but it is also the antivenom when bitten by adversity, the antidote to depression, and the kryptonite to fear and anxiety. Walking through the psychological angst that often accompanies transition can be challenging, but taking each step with thoughts of continuous gratitude is like wearing a full suit of armor that helps us survive the gauntlet of change. Gratitude is intentional, so wield its power by waking up, stating what you are thankful for, and continuing to do it throughout the day.
7. Pursue daily and weekly goals
Success, in its simplest form, is the attainment of an established goal. When our goals are time-bound and measurable, they provide countless and significant life advantages. Goals offer hope for a better future, break us through mental plateaus, and fuel our self- motivation by giving us reasons to take action. They help us overcome seasons of uncertainty by pointing our focus toward future events that we can control. Life without goals is like running on a hamster wheel or playing a game where you cannot score. When there is no finish line, the first prize is frustration and despair, so leverage the power of goals when working through the external forces of change and the internal forces of transition.
8. Give it some time
Patience is a virtuous trait closely linked to emotional regulation. It affects our ability to manage emotions effectively, especially during setbacks or delays. When we can wait on someone or something without complaining or becoming angry or annoyed, we display high levels of self-control. Focusing your attention on what you can control is the first step toward patience. However, patience requires more than just waiting; anyone can do that. The kind of patience that makes an impact when working through the challenges of change is when you can maintain a good attitude during long periods of waiting. According to Bridges’ Transition Model, a transition comprises three phases: the ending of the old, the neutral zone, and the beginning of the new, so take a deep breath and give it some time!
The next time the metaphorical “beast of change” stands in the middle of the street and calls you out with its empty threats of uncertainty, arm yourself with these eight mental weapons, stare the imposter squarely in his eyes, and say, “Do your worst; I’m ready!”
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Chris Harris, Keynote Speaker & Executive Coach
After overcoming a tumultuous childhood and through his countless experiences teaching close-quarters combat to elite warriors, Chris Harris has witnessed firsthand the transformational power of having a healthy mindset and choosing the proper perspective. As a captivating keynote speaker, he uses his life stories of enduring homelessness, overcoming adversity, and achieving fulfillment and success to inspire, encourage, and challenge his audience to obtain the life they want by using the tools they already possess.
