Aileen Dunbar is a holistic pediatric sleep coach. She founded Connected Slumber Baby/Toddler Sleep Support and loves working with families to help them get more sleep using an attachment-based approach.
Are you contemplating night-weaning your older baby or toddler? Here are eight things to consider before you begin this process!
1. Make sure it is what you truly want to do and that your baby is old enough
Like many areas of infant sleep, there can be a stigma around overnight feeding. Others may pressure parents to stop feeding their baby overnight by a certain age. However, feeding at night is natural and normal; it’s a lovely way to connect with your child during the night, particularly if they are at school or daycare all day. It's very common for babies to need to feed throughout the first year of life and even beyond.
It is ideal to wait until your baby is 12 months old before weaning from breastfeeding or formula feeding, as it should be the primary source of nutrition up until this time. Cutting back on night feeds before this age could affect your milk supply if you are breastfeeding.
2. If your child is waking hourly, address the underlying reason before night-weaning
It is normal for babies to wake at night during the first year and beyond. However, if they aren’t doing even one two-hour stretch overnight, it’s a good idea to investigate what might be causing these frequent wakings. Some possible causes could include iron deficiency, food sensitivity, or an undiagnosed tongue tie, to name a few.
If you are concerned about this, you could book a discovery call with me to discuss further or consult your pediatrician or another healthcare professional.
3. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing
Night-weaning doesn’t mean you have to give up all overnight feeds. For example, you might decide not to feed your baby at every wake but are comfortable feeding them twice overnight.
Your plan can also be flexible. You may start intending to give up all night feeds, but as you begin the process, you might realize you’re okay with keeping some. It doesn’t have to be set in stone. Like any parent-led change regarding your baby’s sleep, I always encourage parents to follow their instincts rather than sticking rigidly to a step-by-step plan.
Additionally, weaning slowly is critical to avoid mastitis (inflammation of the breast caused by clogged milk ducts). Common symptoms of mastitis include fever, chills, headache, increased pulse, flu-like body aches, pain and swelling at the site, and a hot, red, painful area. Seek immediate medical attention if you notice any of these symptoms.
Weaning may take several weeks or months to complete.
4. Night-weaning may not necessarily lead to fewer night wakings
A 2010 study that examined infant sleep from 0 to 36 months demonstrated that it is normal for children to wake throughout the night (Paavonen et al., 2020). These night wakings tend to decrease as babies get older but remain typical during this time.
I am emphasizing this in case you have been led to believe that breastfeeding is the reason your baby or toddler is waking overnight. Babies wake for reasons other than hunger, such as seeking closeness, connection, and as a protective mechanism for their survival.
As babies mature, their sleep-wake rhythms develop, which naturally reduces the number of night awakenings. This is a gradual process that will occur over time and is unique to each baby.
5. Before night weaning, ensure you are comfortable with supporting your child's emotions
Breastfeeding provides more than just calories to a child; it also offers emotional connection and closeness. Weaning often comes with feelings of sadness from your child, and likely from you as well. With that in mind, it is important that you feel comfortable supporting your child's emotions as they express them when you set a boundary around nursing.
I recommend practicing setting boundaries during the day, not necessarily with nursing, but with any loving limit you set. For example, let’s say your child wants to play with your phone, but this is not something you allow. Instead of distracting them by giving them something else to play with, set the boundary and support the emotions that come with it. You might say, “I can’t let you play with my cell phone because it’s not a toy. I understand you’re sad because you wanted to play with it. I’m here with you.” Then stay with them as they express their sadness.
Allowing them to express their emotions over a situation they cannot change helps them adapt to your boundaries.
6. Avoid starting the process when your baby or toddler is undergoing other challenges
There is no perfect time to begin, but here are examples of situations where you may want to delay weaning:
a) When your baby is teething: Breast milk is a natural pain reliever, so your baby may want to nurse more during this time. Furthermore, teething pain is often worse at night.
b) When your baby is sick: If your baby has a cold or ear infection, they may seek increased comfort from nursing. Breast milk contains substances such as antibodies and protective enzymes that fight infections and help with healing.
c) When your baby is going through a sleep progression: During these times, babies and toddlers experience intense development and growth, which typically leads to increased night wakings and potentially increased hunger. This is not an ideal time to limit feeding sessions.
d) When other changes are taking place: If your baby has just started daycare or has a new sibling, these are not the best times to start weaning. They are already adjusting to significant changes in their world. Weaning can be very emotional, so it is best to choose a time when there is not much other stress in their life.
7. Consider how you will support your baby back to sleep without nursing
If your baby relies on breast or bottle feeding to go back to sleep, consider adding other sleep associations to help them transition before beginning night weaning. For example, you could shush or rub their back while nursing. This will help them get used to other ways of falling asleep besides nursing, making it much easier to shift to a different method of support when they wake.
If you decide that your partner will support them to sleep while eliminating an overnight feeding session, this can also help with the transition. Your partner can begin using these new sleep associations as part of the process.
8. Decide on a general plan for how you would like to proceed, but know it may not be linear and can take time
Various strategies can be used for night weaning, depending on what is best for your family and your baby’s temperament. I will briefly discuss a couple of methods.
a) Gradually reducing the amount
This strategy involves gradually reducing the time you feed until the feed is completely gone. If you are bottle feeding, you could reduce the amount by approximately an ounce. For example, you could start with the first feed of the night or the feed closest to the baby's waking time. If you want to eliminate another feed, it is best to wait about a week or so.
b) Gradually reducing the number of feedings
This method is very similar to the first, except instead of reducing the time you feed, you fully eliminate one feeding at a time. This approach is better suited for a baby with a more easygoing temperament, as it is less gradual than the first method. Similarly to the process above, you should wait a week or so before eliminating another feeding. For this method, since you are removing a feed, ensure you give your baby a full feed before bed and for any subsequent night feeds other than the one you are eliminating.
Night weaning can be a challenging process that requires time and patience. If you would like individualized support with this or any other sleep challenge, click here to set up your free discovery call to see how I can help!
Read more from Aileen Dunbar
Aileen Dunbar, Holistic Pediatric Sleep Coach
Aileen Dunbar is a holistic pediatric sleep coach and founder of Connected Slumber Baby/Toddler Sleep Support. She became certified as a Baby-Led Sleep and Well-Being Specialist in 2021 and has been working ever since with families to help them with their children's sleep challenges without using any sleep training. She is passionate about creating realistic expectations for baby and toddler sleep and reducing parental stress so you can focus on being the best parents you can be!
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