Written by: Mariette, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
7 Signs You Are Susceptible To Develop Imposter Syndrome
Do they apply to you?
Inez is in her mid thirtieth, working as an account manager in a successful advertising agency. Even though she loves her work, she is always nervous and stressed.
She thinks that is normal.
She is highly critical of herself.
And thinks that’s normal too.
That everybody is like that.
She doesn’t value her achievements.
She doesn’t believe they are that special.
That other people would do a better job anyway.
Inez creates a bit of a nightmare for herself.
Continuously undermining her confidence and getting in the way of her happiness.
Without realizing what she was doing to herself.
Inez became a client and when talked through her thought patterns, I gently guided her toward the idea she might suffer from Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter Syndrome is a psychological pattern, where someone is unable to judge their achievements objectively but instead attributes them to luck or misunderstanding and are considering themselves a fraud. 70% of people will have experienced Imposter Syndrome at least once in their lives, as a study by Behavioral Science Research Institute (Australia) revealed.
Imposter Syndrome goes hand in hand with high levels of stress and anxiety.
What are the signs traits and behaviours that invite Imposter Syndrome?
1. Perfectionism – Someone who strives to deliver the perfect proposal, presentation and email every time. The desire to be perfect is to protect themselves from being told off or found out.
2. Procrastination – As every task is important and demanding, it becomes harder to just start it and get on with it.
3. Expectation – Imposters have sky-high expectations of themselves. Much higher than anybody else has.
4. Preparation – In order to prepare for every possible scenario, an imposter is always doing more that is required. Often they don’t want to ask in order to come across as not up to the job. Instead, they spend a lot of time and energy on probabilities.
5. Defensive – Comments are perceived as criticism and imposters strongly react to that. Either aggressive or over the top apologetic. They catastrophize the comment and feel it as a personal attack and the treat to be unmasked.
6. External frame of reference – An imposter always looks for external validation as they lack the ability to judge their work as ‘good’ or ‘good enough’.
7. Fear and anxiety – Imposters live in constant fear that others will see them for who they are: an imposter, pretending she is good but actually being a charlatan.
Apart from recognizing these signs, you can also take this quiz to check if you are suffering from Imposter Syndrome.
What to do about it?
Imposter presents itself as a bundle of feelings, amongst them stress, anxiety, restlessness and fear to fail. These feelings prevent rational thinking, but that is exactly the way forward to combat the imposter.
The way to take control of the imposter is to start thinking as a non-imposter (Valerie Young – The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women) and reframe situations from a different perspective.
The true imposter always takes the perspective of failure or ‘not being good enough’. They dismiss positive feedback by disrespecting the person who gives the feedback (‘They are so stupid that they don’t even see how bad I am’) and is also not capable of giving themselves a compliment.
Examples of reframing
Imposter: ‘I had to give this last-minute presentation and I could have done a much better job if I had had more time.’
Non-Imposter: ‘I managed to pull it off and offer my audience information they found helpful’.
I: ‘They gave me this promotion because no one else was available.’
NI: ‘They offered me this job because I am suited for it.’
I: ‘OMG, I was lucky to get that article in the press.’
NI: ‘I know how to work the press to get the right results.’
I: ‘My boss said I did well, just because he doesn’t want to create a scene.’
NI: ‘My boss is a great manager and she knows it is important to give feedback. And I know I did a good job and it’s lovely to get it confirmed by someone who knows what she is talking about.’
I: ‘I made a mistake, I feel so ashamed. I am sure I am being found out now. Everyone will know how stupid I am.’
NI: ‘Not happy with my mistake, but hey, next time I won’t do it that way.’
The best to train yourself into reframing is to write things down. Over time you will quickly recognize your unhelpful thought pattern and be able to reframe at the moment.
Mariette Jansen, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dr. Mariette Jansen is a successful coach, therapist, and blogger for over 20 years. Also, author of best-selling self-help book 'From Victim to Victor' for victims of narcissistic abuse. She grew up with a narcissistic mother and had several romantic relationships with narcissists. Her mission is to empower and educate on life skills, narcissistic abuse, and thinking patterns. She offers a free coaching session via her website. Originally from the Netherlands, she now lives in the UK.
