Zuleyka Lopez Lisojo, a Mindset Expert, is celebrated for her fervent dedication to aiding individuals and families in their journey of healing from traumatic experiences, renewing their mindset, and achieving unique growth.
Have you ever found yourself caught in the beautiful whirlwind of being a Latina mom? That breathtaking moment when you first gazed into your child’s adorable face filled you with indescribable joy, only to be swiftly followed by the overwhelming chorus of your family’s advice and expectations. It can feel like a rollercoaster ride of emotions! Since the day your little one entered your life, you’ve yearned to cherish every precious moment, yet a shadow of cultural pressure often looms overhead. Whether you’re navigating the challenges of a newborn or the complexities of a teenager, it’s time to break free from the common pitfalls that many Latina moms face in parenting.
The article Bringing Culture Into Parent Training With Latinos emphasizes the influence of the Latino culture on parenting. Let’s explore these 7 mistakes Latina entrepreneurs make when parenting, together and empower ourselves to embrace this beautiful journey with confidence!
7 common mistakes Latina entrepreneurs make when parenting
1. Overemphasizing tradition over individuality
Do you remember that moment when your mother or mother-in-law suggested giving your newborn cereal to help them sleep longer? That was one of my first parenting hurdles, a test of my resolve amidst the whirlwind of family advice! I found myself questioning my instincts, yet I knew I had to stand firm in my decisions. If we don’t tackle these pressures early on, we risk perpetuating the cycle of placing our cherished Latino traditions above our children's unique identities.
While it’s crucial to pass down cultural values, it’s just as important to honor and nurture each child’s individuality and dreams. This is where the magic happens–when we encourage our kids to express themselves rather than conform. By striking a balance between tradition and modern parenting, we create a vibrant environment where our children can flourish both culturally and personally. Let’s embrace this journey together, celebrating our heritage while cultivating our little ones' extraordinary selves!
2. Neglecting self-care
I know I’m not the only Latina mom who has felt the overwhelming pressure to be perfect. After my second child, I struggled to keep up with my well-being. I skipped my yearly wellness visits, stopped working out, and barely found time for myself at all. It took me three years to finally see my doctor again, and 14 months before I got back into exercising and eating nutritious meals. In the race to be the perfect mom, I completely forgot about myself. I’ve heard this over and over in sessions with my clients.
I used to feel guilty even thinking about taking time for myself, convinced that my only job was to take care of my family. But here’s the truth: neglecting ourselves can lead to burnout, and that exhaustion impacts our ability to be the moms we want to be. Taking time for hobbies, exercising, or simply relaxing isn’t selfish–it’s essential. And seeking support, whether from a coach or therapist, can be a game-changer for our mental and emotional health. When we make our well-being a priority, we show up stronger, more present, and full of love for our kids.
Remember, self-care isn’t a luxury–it’s a necessity for us and them.
3. Lack of open communication
“Yes, just grab that thing over there.” “Stop crying, be tough.” If you’re a Latina mom, you know exactly what I’m talking about. How many times have you told your child to do something, only for them to ask for clarification multiple times? I remember growing up hearing the same phrases and promising myself I’d do things differently with my kids. Yet, despite our best efforts, we often fall into the same patterns. It’s so easy to slip into a lack of open communication or empathy without even realizing it.
I’ve caught myself dismissing my kids’ feelings when I’m distracted or not fully present. And then, there are those moments when I avoid deeper conversations altogether, thinking they might not understand or that it’s too much. But when we shut down those opportunities, we risk creating emotional distance and misunderstandings. What I’ve learned is that encouraging open dialogue builds trust, allowing our children to feel safe sharing their thoughts and emotions.
Creating a judgment-free space for them to express themselves is key to fostering healthy, connected family dynamics.
4. Avoiding difficult conversations
Did your mom ever sit you down to talk about sexuality, mental health, or finances? Mine didn’t. Maybe it was because she didn’t know much about these topics herself, or maybe it was the cultural taboo that kept those conversations off the table. As Latina moms, many of us find ourselves avoiding these sensitive topics, whether it’s mental health, sexuality, or even struggles in school. But this silence can leave our kids unprepared to handle these challenges when they come up.
By avoiding these tough conversations, we might think we’re protecting them, but what we’re really doing is creating confusion and leaving room for misinformation. Talking openly, and in a way that’s appropriate for their age, can give our children the tools they need to face life head-on. When we normalize these discussions, we make sure our kids know they can always come to us for guidance–no matter the topic. Let’s break the cycle and create a safe space where nothing is too taboo to talk about.
5. Setting unrealistic expectations
I remember the first time my daughter brought home a B on her report card. I immediately thought of my own childhood, where anything less than an A felt like failure. I sat her down and started to question what went wrong, why she hadn’t pushed herself harder. But the look on her face–a mix of disappointment and fear–made me stop. I realized that my expectations, though well-intentioned, were creating pressure she wasn’t ready for.
As Latina moms, we often have high expectations for our kids, driven by our cultural values and personal aspirations. Of course, we want the best for them, but when those goals become unrealistic, they can lead to stress and feelings of inadequacy. Instead of pushing for perfection, it’s crucial to encourage our children to strive for excellence while recognizing their individual limits and unique paths. Celebrating small wins and their efforts, rather than just results, creates a healthier environment for growth and helps them develop confidence at their own pace.
6. Ignoring emotional needs
I still vividly remember the first day I picked up my son from kindergarten. As soon as I pulled my car into the pick-up area, I spotted him sobbing inconsolably after waiting for over an hour. If your child is a car rider, you know that the carline is insane the first week of school. My initial reaction was confusion–“Why is he crying?”–but as he walked towards my car, I realized that my thought lacked the empathy he needed at that moment. I took a deep breath, parked my car up the road, got out of my car, went around to his side, knelt to his level, and gently asked what had happened and how I could help him feel better.
In our culture, there’s often a strong emphasis on achievements and being strong, which can sometimes overshadow our children’s emotional well-being. This can make them feel like their feelings are secondary, potentially leading to anxiety and depression down the road. It’s so important for us to recognize and validate our kids’ emotions as a critical part of their development. By fostering an environment where feelings are acknowledged and openly discussed, we empower our children to develop healthy coping mechanisms. Striking a balance between emotional health and academic success is essential for nurturing their overall growth and well-being.
7. Overprotectiveness
I can be a real mama hen when it comes to my kids! I’ve found myself having to pull back from that urge to overprotect them, especially when I sense something is off. I remember one particular time when my son flat-out refused to go to the kids' church. He wouldn’t tell me why, and I could feel my worry growing. But instead of pushing him, I decided to approach the situation with empathy, gently encouraging him to share what was going on. And you know what? He finally opened up!
It turned out that he was feeling bullied and rejected by a group of older boys, and my heart sank. Despite my attempts to help him resolve the situation, he was still hesitant to participate. So, we agreed I would accompany him to talk to the church leaders. With a little extra support, he gradually found the confidence to join in again.
As parents, it’s completely natural to want to shield our children from harm, but I’ve realized that being overprotective can hold them back from developing their independence. As a Latina mom, I often worry about cultural biases and societal challenges my children might face, which can lead me to be extra cautious. However, it’s crucial to allow them to take age-appropriate risks and make their own decisions. Finding the right balance between protection and independence is essential; it helps nurture their resilience and self-sufficiency. I want my kids to thrive, not just survive!
When to seek professional support
If you find yourself repeatedly falling into the same parenting mistakes and struggling to reframe your approach, it might be time to consider seeking professional support. These common mistakes can have a significant impact on your relationship with your children, leading to feelings of frustration and disconnection. At Parenting & Mental Health we offer valuable insights and strategies tailored to your family's unique dynamics, helping you break the cycle and build stronger connections. Don't hesitate to reach out–schedule a FREE consultation today and take the first step toward nurturing healthier relationships with your kids!
Read more from Zuleyka Lopez Lisojo
Zuleyka Lopez Lisojo, Mindset and Mental Health Expert
Zuleyka Lopez Lisojo, a Mindset Expert, is celebrated for her fervent dedication to aiding individuals and families in their journey of healing from traumatic experiences, renewing their mindset, and achieving unique growth. She has an extensive 11-year tenure in the mental health field. Three years ago Zuleyka founded Parenting & Mental Health, where she’s committed the majority of her time to empowering her clients to seize control of their lives through transformative shifts in mindset. Through coaching and psychotherapy, Zuleyka guides her clients towards tangible improvements in their lives and professional performance.
