Written by: McKing Lee, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Is it important to be authentic? Yes, of course. But do we do it? Not a lot of people have authenticity. You probably met some sleazy salesperson who oversells their product or service, and you know that whatever they were saying it's all overhyped or fake. Or you recall that one person you met at some networking event that was so fake you couldn't stand it! But here's the big question, what about you?
Have you been authentic, at least to yourself? You don’t have to answer in a comment or post, you just need to know it yourself. I get it, with so many fake people around, it is tough to be authentic and get hurt by them. So it does beg the question…Why be authentic in this world?
It is definitely easier to put up a shield, to be fake, to protect yourself. I totally get it! Yet for me, in spite of meeting so many fake people, I still choose to be authentic. I still choose to be truthful and real and even be vulnerable with people around me. Do you know the funny thing that happened? I stopped hurting.
Somehow, being authentic became a reflection for others so they can open up and be real too. In fact, people around me have said that my genuineness was refreshing and real, and rare. And because of this, it made people want to connect more, and they appreciate me more.
3 things changed for me:
a. True connection
Because we are being authentic and true to each other, there are no more masks, no false pretenses. This opens us up to truly connecting with each other as human beings. Whether you are talking about the home environment or the working environment. Such an ability to establish a real and true connection means you become a natural people magnet. People will naturally gravitate towards you in order to connect
b. Respect
Because of such a true connection, people start to look up to you. They start to respect you more. Your friends (and clients) will value your opinion because they know you speak from the heart. That you want the best for them. You get respect which you deserve. You might even become an influential leader (if you so desire)
c. Productivity
It might seem funny that being authentic can get more work done but it’s true! Imagine expending energy to keep up false pretenses, the mask that you had to wear when you are being fake, and it does take a lot of energy to hold it up the entire day!
How are you going to be truly productive if you are holding up such masks throughout the day? That’s why when you are authentic, and no longer holding any masks, you can now spend that energy on actual work! So much so that you might become more efficient and produce more work, or you have more rest time and can take breaks.
Just imagine for a moment you being the real authentic you. Without any masks, truly connecting with people, getting their respect and love, and achieving what you always wanted. It’s an amazing feeling, isn’t it? And if you really want that in your life starting today... Here are 6 ways to be authentic:
1. Accept you for you
Who you are today is made of a bunch of things, character, personality, strengths and weaknesses and so on. The first step is accepting yourself for being you, all the good and all the bad. Now, this doesn’t mean you don’t attempt to change and improve on your weaknesses!
Recognizing that you have a “bad trait” is the first step towards change and becoming a better individual. Whereas denying you have such a “bad trait” doesn’t help anyone, and that is in fact a mask to show people a different you. So accept you for being you!
2. Write your list of strengths and weaknesses
Once you accept that you do have such strengths and weaknesses, write down a list of all of them. Why? This is for you to recognize and remember that you do have strengths! At the same time, as you start to work on your weaknesses, you can cross them off the list once you found that you have resolved those weaknesses or issues. Some people might have forgotten they have certain strengths within, and this makes them lose themselves in this world As an add-on, you can even keep a gratitude journal. Besides writing down things you are grateful for today, you can also write things you are grateful for in your childhood or your past.
3. Heal your wounds
Honestly, you will probably spend the most time doing this and it’s ok. Healing your wounds, your issues, and your past will take time, and it will have the best results. Because when you release your baggage, you will no longer be chained down and held back. There is no reason to pretend to be strong because when you have healed your soul, you are strong. You are free!
In some cases, it might involve forgiving someone who has hurt you before. I know it isn’t easy for this bit and you don’t have to do any forgiveness now. Just keep it in mind and remember this: Forgiveness is never about the other party, it is about you healing and releasing the negative chains that they put upon you. If you need some help, you can contact me for this bit
4. Respect other’s opinion
Everyone is entitled to their own view, whether it is right or wrong. In particular, this is for your protection. If someone wants to say anything (whether intentional or unintentional) which might hurt you, respect their opinion. Just let it be. This is to protect yourself from being influenced by them and also not to engage in pointless arguments with such people (especially if you realize they are negative people) Such people might not like that you are healing and might attempt to hurt you too, just let it go and don’t engage. Be aware of this and trust yourself!
5. Be present
To be present for yourself is to live in the moment. This teaches you to enjoy life as it happens, and even if something bad happens, because you are present, you can solve it sooner! At the same time, be present for others. Oftentimes people are physically present but mentally not present and this breaks the connection To be present for others is to engage and connect with them. And guess what?
If you recognize you are getting tired through the engagement (I’m an introvert too), you can politely request to leave. It’s perfectly fine! You can be present for them and yet, be present for yourself and recognize when you need a break
6. Understand that it can take time
Rome wasn’t built in a day! And it is perfectly fine to take your time to implement and adapt. Especially if you do realize maybe you have been fake for quite a while now. It’s good that you decided that you want to make some positive changes to your life.
If you want to read more inspirational content, be sure to check out my website and social media! Read hypnotic case studies on my blog. Here are my TikTok videos. Thank you!
McKing Lee, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
McKing Lee is a conversational hypnotist, NLP Practitioner, and a student of life. After nearly dying in his sleep when his lung burst for no reason, McKing develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and fell into depression. He subsequently sought his own recovery through learning NLP and hypnosis. Having a unique understanding of how the mind works, he has helped many people with mental and psychological issues, relationship and emotional issues, and interestingly enough, sometimes physical ailments too. McKing was recognized and won APAC SEA Business Awards Hypnotist of the Year 2020, and has been featured in local and overseas media over the years. He aims to help people as effectively as possible, through sharing of knowledge and with the right application of skills.
