Written by Donna Davies, Speech Language Pathologist
Donna Davies is a Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist with over 30 years of experience. She owns Dragonfly Therapy Services, a private S-LP clinic specializing in early language delays, speech sound disorders and persistent sound errors in older children. Recently, she has added Orofacial Myology to her skill set.
Having your child see a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) is a significant investment of your time and a substantial financial commitment if you choose a private provider. Whether you are accessing public or private SLP services, you will want to make the most of your visit by being engaged, involved, and prepared to continue treatment at home.
If you currently find yourself merely observing your child’s SLP during therapy sessions, leaving each appointment unsure of what to do at home, or feeling uncertain about your role in the treatment process, read on. An SLP with over 30 years of experience shares her top six tips for moving beyond passive observation to active involvement, helping you build the skills and confidence needed to support your child’s progress at home.
The first step is the hardest
No matter how you arrive at your first appointment with a Speech-Language Pathologist, it is often accompanied by apprehension, concern, and possibly fear. It does not matter whether your doctor referred your child, you knew before birth that there was a potential issue, a family member expressed concern, or you simply sensed that your child was not developing like other children his age. The reality is that no parent wants to hear that their child is not progressing as expected or is behind in skill development. Learning that your child has a delay means the future you envisioned may not unfold exactly as you had hoped.
Taking that first step, setting aside your fears, and attending the initial appointment to understand the nature of your child’s communication delay is pivotal. From there, you will embark on a journey filled with many more appointments, spending a significant amount of time with a professional you hope to trust. This person will support and encourage you as you work together to help your child communicate.
While the weight of a severe diagnosis can be overwhelming and mild delays can often have hidden challenges, neither is a time for you to be a passive observer in your child’s therapy. Instead, you need to see yourself as the valuable and indispensable partner that you are; having an important role to play in helping your child communicate. To make the most of your child’s therapy try incorporating the following tips into your next visit.
To make the most of your child’s therapy, consider incorporating the following tips into your next visit.
Leave your phone on silent
When you consider that you are seeing an SLP because your child is struggling with communication in some form, it does not make sense to use this time to be on your phone. Communication is a two-way street, and your child needs your help. He needs you to talk with him, not with others who are not even present.
Phones have become so integrated into our daily lives that many parents, perhaps without realizing it, pull out their phones during their child’s visit, effectively separating themselves from the present moment. Seeing an SLP is not a babysitting or drop-off care service where you are given free adult time while someone else tends to your child. These visits are intended to support your child’s communication development, so it is not appropriate to be disconnected from therapy by being connected to your phone.
When you choose to be on your phone during your child’s session, you put the SLP in the awkward position of having to ask you to put it away and be part of what is happening. Nothing signals disengagement and disinterest more than pulling out a phone and ignoring what is happening in front of you.
Pro tip: Being on your phone during your child’s therapy session will not lead to the desired outcome of helping him communicate. Rather than disengaging during these visits, focus on collaborating with the SLP and be open to learning. Together, you can make a real difference.
Now, with your phone on silent and ready to participate.
Ask for a turn so you can practice
As surprising as it may sound, it is not the SLP’s job to fix the communication delay in isolation and without your involvement. It is their job to determine where to start with your child, which may begin with signs or a picture system if he is not talking. Or it may be to address certain sound errors, grammar mistakes, vocabulary development, or sentence construction if he is talking but not clearly. It is their job to explore the strategies and techniques that will work best for introducing signs and picture systems. It is also their job to use evidence-based treatment strategies to help your child begin to speak, learn particular sounds, combine words into sentences, or address any other area of speech and language delay.
It is also their job to collaborate with you and teach you how to implement the strategies, techniques and modelling cues used in therapy at home, but more importantly that you feel confident in your ability to do so. Home practice is important while your child is attending therapy as it provides the practice needed to be ready to move to the next step at the next visit. Home practice enables you to hone the skills you will use for maintenance or carryover after he is discharged. Parents who carry treatment over to home will achieve far greater progress than a parent who merely watches the SLP work with their child.
Practicing with the SLP in real time is the best way to learn the strategies and techniques needed to work on the same goals at home. When you practice with the SLP during each session, she can coach, guide, and support you as you incorporate strategies that may feel unfamiliar, especially if your child suddenly becomes uncooperative. An activity going off track when handed to a parent is a scenario all too familiar to SLPs who routinely invite parents to participate in treatment.
There are a couple of reasons why you may have difficulty keeping the activity going as smoothly as the SLP. One is that the new skills may feel foreign and awkward, and you may feel nervous about being observed. More importantly, children often respond better to someone other than their parents, leading them to push back in difficult ways.
To illustrate this challenge, picture your child doing an activity with the SLP that is going very well. The SLP has your child using a sound he has never said before, and he is compliant and cooperative, following every instruction. Since the activity is going smoothly and the task is not difficult for him, she hands it over to you so you can practice using the same cuing and modeling techniques. But as soon as you take your turn, like a switch, your child becomes non-compliant and uncooperative. This is the moment when you need the SLP’s expertise the most, as she helps you work through the difficulties and get the activity back on track. It is always best to address these challenges before you head home so the practice is not derailed by your frustration with a child who refuses to cooperate and does not want you to be his speech teacher.
Another reason to ask for a turn in therapy is that SLPs, even new graduates, have more experience using sign language, picture communication systems, early language strategies, eliciting sounds and words, correcting grammar, and creating opportunities to communicate than the average parent. The SLP does not need more practice with these strategies, but you do. How an SLP engages with your child in therapy may look deceptively easy, but when you try the same strategies for the first time under her watchful eye, you may be surprised to find they are more challenging than expected, or even feel impossible if you attempt them at home without first learning how to implement them properly.
If your involvement in your child’s therapy, is you observing the SLP doing therapy, you must ask for a turn. Although you may be nervous to ask and worry about being observed, involving you in treatment is considered best practice. However, many SLPs may not have received training on how to involve parents in therapy or may choose not to do so for various reasons. As a result, your request to participate in your child’s therapy may be unfamiliar to her and she may be nervous about it as well. However, it is important to remember that having a role in your child’s therapy is key, as research shows active involvement by parents improves their child's outcomes.
Pro tip: Expect the same level of teaching from the SLP as you would from a physical therapist. Just as a physical therapist assigns exercises for you to practice during your session to ensure correct form before leaving, speech and language therapy should be no different.
Now that you have asked for a turn.
Ask how you can do this at home
Much like asking for a turn to learn how to help your child at home, you also need to ensure you can complete the homework with what you have. Too often, SLPs forget that the toys they use in therapy are novel, highly motivating, and well-suited for the task they want to accomplish. This leaves parents wondering how to do the same activity at home when they do not have the same toys or games.
To overcome this, you must advocate for your success at home by asking the SLP to suggest other toys or activities that could work just as well. It is helpful to tell the SLP what activities your child enjoys most and what games and toys you already have so she can help you find ways to incorporate the strategies into your home routine. Nothing spells defeat more than thinking you must buy all new toys and games to work on your child’s speech and language at home.
Pro tip: Do not ask where you can buy the toy or game the SLP is using; instead, ask what other toys or games you could use to achieve the same effect at home.
Now that you are set to practice at home,
Be honest about practice
It is important to remember that the SLP’s role is not to fix the communication delay in isolation but rather to guide you and provide the skills, tools, materials, and strategies needed to continue practice at home. So when you are asked how practice went, be honest. If you have been practicing, it will show in that day’s session. If you have not been practicing, the SLP will know based on your child’s performance, and sometimes your child will simply blurt out the truth when asked.
To maximize each session’s effectiveness, home practice is essential. This ensures that every visit with the SLP focuses on advancing your child rather than just reviewing previous work. Practicing at home between sessions is crucial for helping your child become competent and proficient in the activity, preparing him to progress to the next step during subsequent visits. In cases of significant communication delay, ongoing home practice over several weeks or months may be necessary before your child is ready to build on his skills. Remember, parents who practice at home have many more opportunities to work on a goal than an SLP who sees the child once a week for a 30- or 40-minute session.
If you have had challenges with home practice, be honest. Tell your SLP if you struggle to find time to practice or to keep your child motivated. She can work with you to find alternative ways to integrate practice into your daily routine or busy schedule, since speech and language happen all day long. She can also offer creative options for motivators, games, and activities. If practice is not going as smoothly as it does in the clinic, ask for more opportunities to practice with her.
Pro tip: Do not rely on your memory for the cues, strategies, or modeling techniques learned, or for the homework assignments. Instead, ask the SLP to provide you with a written homework plan.
Now that you are fully engaged.
Be kind to yourself
Speech and language therapy can be a long process. Depending on the type and severity of the delay, therapy may take several years. Even in mild cases, progress can take time, and setbacks are natural. Some days, life is smooth sailing with plenty of time and opportunities to practice, while on other days, everything goes off track and into survival mode. Parents should practice self-compassion and kindness throughout their child’s therapy journey.
Instead of focusing solely on the end goal of when your child will be talking, be understood, or use an alternative mode of communication, celebrate all the small steps along the way. When communication does not come easily, each step your child takes toward talking, being understood, or signing for the first time is worthy of celebration.
Pro tip: Ask your SLP if you can provide progress updates or share the small successes you have at home that are important to celebrate, especially when the end goal seems far away.
Have fun
Through your involvement in sessions with the SLP, you should be well prepared for home practice. She should have helped you feel confident in the cues to use, the strategies, and the structure of a session so you can focus more on being a play partner than a teacher. Children are more willing to work with their parents when they do not perceive them as teachers. Acting more as the activity director, have fun with whatever practice you have been asked to do.
Find toys, games, and activities you and your child enjoy. Use them to motivate him to practice with you or as opportunities to incorporate the strategy. Whether it is silly dancing in the kitchen, playing a chase game, or doing a puzzle, remember to do a little practice, then have a little fun; do a little practice, then have a little fun. As Mary Poppins so famously said, “Just a teaspoon of sugar makes the medicine go down in the most delightful way.” In this analogy, the sugar represents the fun the activity provides, while the medicine is the therapy—the real purpose of the activity, which is to help your child achieve better speech and language skills.
Pro tip: Put your phone on silent and play with your child. Playing and engaging together is the best way to work on your child’s speech and language goals and support his overall development.
Make home practice your superpower
Are you looking for creative and motivational ideas to inspire your child to practice speech and/or language goals with you at home? I can help. Follow me on Facebook and LinkedIn or visit my website for more ideas.
Donna Davies, Speech Language Pathologist
Donna has helped hundreds of children say their first words, overcome their speech sound delay and when others had given up, helped young adolescents master the /r/ sound. After a long career in health, Donna established a private practice focused on what she loves most, speech sound disorders and early language delay. Donna’s style of not “just doing therapy”, but rather empowering parents to develop the skills they need to help their child at home through personalized coaching, teaching and mentoring makes her approach unique. Donna has won the award for Best Speech Pathologist for 2 consecutive years in the city where she lives. She proudly holds 5-star ratings from the families of the children she has had the privilege of helping become talkers, and talkers that can be understood.
