Written by: Madeleine Shaw, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Q: What is the first thing you should do if you find yourself stuck in quicksand?
A: Stop struggling.
Q: What do most people do when they are stuck in quicksand?
A: Struggle harder.
You are in “quicksand” at work when you are extraordinarily busy and trying to get out of it by working harder and harder while only becoming more exhausted, sinking deeper, and falling further behind.
Quicksand at work looks like this:
Working longer hours
Canceling holidays (or working through them)
Doing everything yourself so it “gets done right”
Sacrificing your personal time and health
Self-medicating with alcohol or other drugs.
It’s not a good news story, and it leads to burnout.
Certain factors can make this particularly acute. Do any of these look familiar?
Perfectionism
A strong work ethic; a drive to compete and succeed
A work culture of long hours and high expectations
A focus on the negative: risk, problems, and what could go wrong
Fear of failure
These tendencies can lead you to lean further into the problem – throwing more effort at it, sure that if only you try hard enough, you’ll get through it. But if throwing more good energy after bad worked, it would have worked by now.
The paradox for many high achievers is this: these traits that are weighing you down are likely the very same traits that are in many ways responsible for your success. It’s no wonder it’s hard to let go of them!
Rather than try to eliminate these drivers, it’s helpful to keep enough of them to reap their benefits but to identify where they are being overplayed and, therefore, counterproductive.
I looked up an article about how to escape actual quicksand. It applies well to work too.
If you’re sinking: stop struggling. Then,
1. Make Yourself As Light As Possible – Toss Your Bag, Jacket, And Shoes
For us, that means culling. Can you hand over or pause any work? Stop going to some meetings? Or perhaps even ditch the weight of your high standards and aim for good enough? Which is, in fact, good enough.
2. Try To Take A Few Steps Backwards
When were you last on solid ground? What resources can help you now – Friends? Family? Perhaps even practical methodologies like that amazing time management technique you used to love but have stopped using?
3. Keep Your Arms Up And Out Of The Quicksand
It can be tempting to look for who to blame, but that won’t actually get you out of the quicksand. It’s more constructive at this point to keep your focus on solutions.
4. Try To Reach For A Branch Or Person’s Hand To Pull Yourself Out
Wanting to fix it alone can be a trap for high achievers who are used to being able to do whatever they set their mind to, but help helps. Consider family, friends, colleagues, your EAP, your GP, or – yes – a coach.
5. Take Deep Breaths
Fight/flight/freeze mode inhibits your higher-order problem-solving capacity. Slow, smooth breathing helps to re-set your brain and body at the moment so you can think more effectively. I also include taking care of physical wellbeing more generally under this point. Quick wins in the form of prioritizing healthy boundaries, sleep, exercise, and good nutrition will really help.
6. Move Slowly And Deliberately
For many of us, feeling we should be making massive changes only heightens the overwhelm, leaving us even less likely to change anything. Small, iterative steps are more likely to stick. Start where you are, make a small change, see how it goes, then think about the next one.
Prevention is better than the cure for both real and metaphorical quicksand.
Once you’re back on solid ground, the bigger and more sustainable win comes from understanding how you ended up in quicksand in the first place. As the article suggests, “Know your quicksand danger zones”. This is partly about the terrain and partly about how you travel through it. Identifying those traits that seem helpful but actually hold you back - and building your skill at getting them into balance — is where you’ll find long-term improvement.
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Madeleine Shaw, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Madeleine Shaw PCC is an in-demand executive coach, speaker, and facilitator. She helps C-suite and other leading professionals navigate challenging career issues so they can thrive in work and life. Madeleine works at the intersection of mindset and evidence-based wellbeing and resilience. Her recent clients include major international consulting, accounting, and law firms, listed financial services organizations, an internationally renowned technology disrupter, and a highly ranked university.
Madeleine has helped thousands of leaders in complex, demanding roles find progress and satisfaction again. She has been there herself in her previous career as a lawyer with top-tier firms in the USA and Australia and a multinational telco. That means this isn’t just nice words and abstract theory: Madeleine knows the drill and can help you sort out your hard questions fast.
