Written by: Ghesi Stojanov, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Whether we realize it or not, the words we speak into existence shape our realities by unconsciously shaping how we view the role we play in our lives. Because the words we choose to use to reflect our thoughts and feelings will control how we perceive our lives, which in turn influences how we show up in it and how much we are willing to fight for what we want and need in it.
And when we consistently use words like the words below, we are actively choosing to limit our abilities and what we think is possible. So below, I've given Top 5 examples of words that when used consistently, stifle our growth, steal our happiness, and rob us of living with power and purpose.
1. I Can't:
If you are continuously saying you can't, do you know why you can't? Are you saying you can't because you don't know how to do something yet, you're not willing to learn how to do it, you're afraid of it, or is it because you just don't want to do it? Using the word "can't" instantly limits yourself and underminds your abilities to grow, achieve and do.
In most instances, it's not that you can't, and there is a deeper reason behind why you're not willing to try. So the next time you find yourself saying I can't, make sure to ask yourself why. This will start to give you more clarity as to the real root cause, which will provide you with the opportunity to address it so you can find the tools you need to crush it.
2. Hate:
Many people use "hate" because of a bad experience, they're embarrassed, they struggle with "it," or it challenges them (Mentally, Physically, Spiritually, or Emotionally) and makes them uncomfortable.
If this is a staple word in your life, work out why you hate "it" and what you can do to change how you view "it." Are you still holding onto that negative energy attached to an experience? Do you continually say you Hate doing things that push you out of your comfort zones because it makes you feel less than, which challenges your comfort levels and triggers your need to protect how others might view you?
3. But:
Using the word "But" takes away our power. Because "But" is a word that allows us to justify our behaviors, feelings, and actions. Instead of owning them, feeding the need to defend or excuse why we choose to do what we did. This ultimately hinders real growth because there will always be an excuse to explain the why behind our actions.
If the word "but" is one of your word staples, next time take a step back and turn inward to see the role that you've played in each circumstance. Because the reality is we can not find ourselves blameless 100% of the time. We have to learn to take responsibility for the actions we did and didn't do in our lives if we want complete ownership of who we are and how we show up for ourselves.
4. Should have:
"Should Have" Is a word that can bring on the feeling of shame. 90% of the time, we know what needs to be done, and when we use the words "should have," it leaves us dealing with the guilt of not doing A, B, C because we knew better. If you find yourself saying this, ask yourself what keeps you from doing what it takes to get it done.
And the other 10% who genuinely had no clue about something and use the word "Should Have" to describe a feeling about the experience, has to learn to flip the script on that thought and feeling and realize that life comes with new experiences. And if you've learned from it and grown through it, it wasn't a waste. That is called a learning curve!
5. Unlucky:
life is always going to have its ups and downs. If you keep saying and believing how unlucky you are, the negative will always outshine and overpower the positive. Because our thoughts and the words we use act like a two-edged sword that plays a massive role in how we view our lives and what we accomplish in it.
The next time you find the unlucky darkness wash over you, start creating light around yourself by focusing on the good and what you do have. When you are able to focus on what you do have instead of what you are missing out on, it raises your internal vibrations. If you find yourself struggling to find the good, tune into the words you are using and the tone you speak to yourself in. Ask yourself if these words are limiting who you are and what you can achieve? Then choose 3 powerful anchoring words that you want to manifest in your life. Words like Powerful, Blessed, and Loved that will help change how you view yourself and your life. And put them in high traffic visible areas where you can feel them, repeat them, and manifest them.
Remember that regardless of the curve balls that life throws your way, you hold the power to create your reality. By choosing:
How you show up for yourselves
The words you choose to speak into existence
The tone of voice you choose to speak to yourself in
Your openness to take accountability for your actions
Your willingness to feed the growth
Because at the end of the day, life is all about growth. And it's the willingness to work past, through the things that challenge us and make us feel uncomfortable, that feeds true growth. By strengthing us to dig deeper and peel back the layers of who we are so we can tap securely into our full potential and live lifes with power.
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Ghesi Stojanov, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ghesi Stojanov is a transformational coach with a mission to help others find balance, own their journey, and tune in to their power. After the loss of her first child in 2004, welcoming her youngest son with a genetic disorder NF1 in 2011, and a triple-positive breast cancer diagnosis in 2013, Ghesi created techniques that helped her navigate through these challenging moments with power, purpose, and light. She helps her clients on their journey to "Be the Color" in their greatest masterpiece that is their life.
