Written by: Debra Whitson, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
January has long been dubbed “Divorce Month” and you might be one of the individuals who decided to file for divorce in the New Year. But what is the main contributing factor to most couples divorcing in January?
According to Claire Nowak, in her article “This Is Why January Is the Biggest Month for Divorce”, “If couples, especially those with children, have started to consider divorce before the holidays, they make a point of staying married through the end of the year so their family can have one last holiday season together before they split.”
Additional circumstances that may arise is the added financial stress experienced during the holiday season, the burden of dealing with in-laws, and resentment that may have built up during the relationship due to communication problems between you and your spouse.
So, once you have made the decision to divorce, how exactly do you prepare? Here are five ways to ensure the process proceeds as peacefully and smoothly as possible.
1. Consider your options
Did you know that when it comes to divorce, there are multiple options available to you? In my book “Divorce Like A Pro: A Better Way To Break Up” I explain these multiple options in great detail ‒ starting with the Kitchen Table approach, and ending with litigation, which should never be considered your first approach. However, sometimes spouses have exhausted all their options and end up in court, whereas I also explain how to proceed to avoid a long, bitter battle where your kids end up becoming collateral damage. At WhitsonLaw, PLLC. and our sister company, Mediated Online Solutions, LLC. we actively encourage alternative methods to litigating, such as mediation ‒ saving you time, money and providing you with a peaceful resolution to your conflict.
2. Begin gathering your financial information
As you prepare for divorce, it is important that you are informed and knowledgeable when it comes to your finances. You will need to be aware of all the assets and debts you acquired during your marriage, your financial obligations, joint debt, and an inventory of all that you own. Examples of financial documents you should be gathering are records of property you own, vehicle documents, account statements, current mortgage, car or credit card debt information, and any other loans. You could also be asked to provide information on your income, which can affect the division of assets process and how child support or spousal support is calculated. This could include your salary, severance pay, Social Security benefits, rental income, capital gains or pay-outs of retirement accounts.
3. Change your account passwords
During your marriage, you might have shared computers, social media accounts, bank accounts, and passwords with your spouse. Being accessible to your family might have come in handy, but your soon-to-be ex could easily use these to digitally spy on you. Apps that once might have been used to track your children’s whereabouts, could easily be used to establish your location and your habits. A good start would be to ensure that all your passwords are changed, including those on cloud-based sharing accounts. Consider opening your own accounts and creating a new email account, with a unique password and on a personal device, which only you have access to.
4. Consider talking to your children before proceeding with divorce
Telling your kids that you plan on separating might not be easy but ensuring that their needs are met during your divorce process is crucial and will help them feel supported. Let them know that it is not their fault, present a united front, and encourage your kids to say how they feel. Explain that this change is best for the whole family, and give simple, factual, explanations.
5. Find the right attorney that will focus on your family’s needs
Finding a qualified lawyer that can represent you in your county is the most crucial part of the process. An excellent way to start your search is to look at the firm’s reviews, ask for referrals from friends and family, and to consider the attorney’s credentials. A collaborative divorce attorney or an attorney trained in mediation, is more likely to help you resolve your divorce process amicably, without resorting to the courts. At WhitsonLaw, PLLC. all our team is Certified Divorce Specialists – from the Client Support Specialists to our paralegals and attorneys, all our staff has received the necessary training to ensure we combine empathy and compassion with our legal expertise, to best assist with your family law matters.
Be sure to check out all the information and resources on our law firm website, and the website of our sister company, Mediated Online Solutions, LLC.
Debra Whitson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
For the first half of her career, Debra Whitson was a prosecutor, and she spent the latter half specializing in Matrimonial and Family Law. She is an experienced mediator and collaborative divorce practitioner as well as a recognized expert in working with victims of domestic violence. Debra believes that legal battles are more harmful to families than helpful, and is passionate about helping people find ways to make their own decisions for their families, rather than leaving their outcomes in the hands of a stranger in a black robe. When court is unavoidable, Debra aims to educate and support people to make the legal process less costly, scary, uncertain, and stressful.
