Written by: Karen Shaw, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We are living in uncertain times and for some, worrying and stressful times. Those of us who are parents can become consumed by the uncertainty of the future for our children and maybe stressing about Christmas. It can be stressful and put a strain on any relationship. Being calm, in control and standing firmly in our own personal power and not giving that way helps. It helps us and our children. We are their role models and it has long been known that what our children experience in their childhood affects the way they behave and grow up.
Remember no one MAKES you anything.
You really do have the choice of how you 'be'. No one makes you mad, angry, frustrated, or any other emotion. Emotion means energy in motion and a certain energy, frequency and vibration are going through your body, yes you feel it, though it is your body and you are in control of what you choose to experience. I know it doesn't always feel that way and it’s not always easy to put into practice. Stay present, be aware of your breathing and be mindful of the outcome you want. When we take control, we are exercising our Personal Power. We are always emitting an electromagnetic charge and our children feel this. Our thoughts, mood, i.e., state of mind, are being transmitted and we are always 'energetically communicating'
As an energy alignment therapist, I help clients to release unwanted and unhelpful emotions and align to higher vibrational better serving and feeling ones. :-)
Respond not React.
This follows on from the above. When we take the time to be fully in the now moment, we can consider our next move. Formulate a response, even if it's to walk away and not deal with the situation there and then. Say something like "I'm going to leave this for now, to calm down, have a think and will come back to you..."
Intention setting.
Think ahead of time about an event. Any potential situation that you can see possibly being difficult or unpleasant. See it and think about it going the way you want it to, not the way you don't! We so often say "I can imagine ..." and then follow that up with a scenario we really do not want to happen. Your imagination is very powerful. According to Einstein, (allegedly)... "Your imagination is a preview of life's coming attractions" So imagine what you want.
Mind your language.
We often tell our children and others to 'Don't' do something, which points them in that direction, we give them something to focus on they may not have even thought about. E.g., 'Don't worry ...' 'Don't run ...' 'Don't be late... 'Don't lose your...' Our unconscious mind can't directly process 'Don't', so hears what is said after it and then thinks about that thing we don't want them to. Ask for what you want, not what you don't ... ‘Ditch your Don't's’.
We often use universal quantifiers, like 'always' 'never', 'everyone' 'no one' and they're not true. It may be 'sometimes' and ' some people'. We're actually lying when we use these terms and a child's unconscious mind knows this. We're unintentionally lying.
Quality time.
Sometimes we get caught up in all that has to be done and aren't enjoying the time we spend with our children. They thrive on quality time spent with them. Include them in as much as you can. Give them responsibilities, encourage and praise their efforts. Meaningful praise, be specific..." I love the way you've drawn the antlers on that reindeer" rather than that's good. Tell them what's good about it, why you like something. Rather than "You look nice (or pretty, or whatever)," say "That blue dress really suits you and brings out the colour in your eyes. Be gentle and considerate with your feedback.
Stay calm and enjoy Christmas.
Remember parenting is for life, not just for Christmas!
Karen Shaw, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Karen Shaw is a leading light in Conscious parenting and energy alignment. Author of 1 best selling book Parenting Magic – A New Approach to Behaviour & Communication. A single mum for over 21 years of three sons, each with their unique challenges. She has found a way to have a fantastic relationship with them, by combining her knowledge and skills in NLP, Hypnotherapy, Energy Therapy and parenting (She has been a parent for over 43 years now! ) and has woven together all these elements and created 'The Parenting Magic Method' so we can all experience a happy family life.
