Written by: Magdalena Hanah, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Being in business requires a lot of focus and attention to detail. Oftentimes, it involves a lot of moving parts, especially if you’re in the services field.
Every day, we are dealing with people trying to get our attention, and at some point, even demanding our attention for their own benefit.
When coaching, I often discuss the need for healthy boundaries and a dose of selfishness in my clients’ approach, and there’s a valid reason why this is so important if you want to start achieving better results in your chosen field.
Distraction, which is the kryptonite of any business owner, can and will push us way back or even determine our overall success levels in the long run.
There is also the case that we are now living in a culture of “fast-food” type relationships, which means that we approach and get approached by others with zero boundaries, and often a completely unfiltered set of opinions, advice, and comments which need to be either sifted through, accepted or rejected by our busy entrepreneurial mind.
The main problem is, it’s really hard as it is to focus on so many things at once, so having multiple, often contradicting opinions, as well as the necessity of establishing their validity, leaves us even more confused than we were, just figuring out the right systems and strategies.
Now, as much as all this could be easily solved by establishing healthy boundaries for people we deal with or hiring a VA that would do the sifting for us in the first place, there is also another issue that so many of us face, that is rather unavoidable and requires a set of skills to be effectively dealt with.
The issue I’m talking about is dealing with unsupportive or flaky people.
What makes those two groups incredibly troublesome for a business owner, aside from their obvious negative attitude, is the fact that they tend to want to take a lot more of your time and energy than the “well-wishers” and “experts” simply stating their opinions of “what they think you should do,” and also because they are quite simply more vocal and louder than their mellow counterparts.
They also possess a skill that lets them disguise themselves as the nicest, most supportive people in your environment, which makes them really hard to spot, and the realization of their true agendas comes out only after things start going astray, and sometimes can result in very serious consequences for our business.
Unsupportive or flaky people come in many forms – they can be a potential partner, a spouse, a demanding friend, but they can also come in the form of business partners, clients, coaches, or other entrepreneurs with a highly competitive streak.
Thankfully, there are certain touchpoints that we can always refer to in order to help ourselves not only to spot the red flags that show up when dealing with flaky or unsupportive people but also to keep our focus on the projects that matter most for building or scaling a successful business.
So, if you’re having trouble or mere suspicion, you might be dealing with a type of person that is only in your surroundings for their own benefit, or even worse – you’ve dealt with a troublesome flaky client that puts your sanity (and business) into question – then read below for five ways on how to protect yourself from those two specific types of individuals, as well as to tame the ones that are already in your circle.
1. Establish what you care for and stick to it.
We all have our values or things we stand for, but we also have something that is called an “acceptance threshold.” You know what it is, maybe you’re just not paying too much attention, but it’s that thing where you draw the line on both ends of the spectrum of what is and isn’t acceptable for you to handle. It’s something more than boundaries, though. It’s like a roadmap of what you want to see in your environment, as well as something you wish to build in your environment. This is the first and best step to know yourself on a deeper level, too.
In business, it’s something that we should look at BEFORE setting goals or even before creating something called a Vision. The way I look at it is, it’s our attitude and willingness in the way we communicate with others. So, if you don’t want others to go all over your business and take your precious time without reason, establish what you are willing to do (offer) on which stage of your prospecting journey (or relationship journey, if we’re talking about your personal life), as well as your absolute “deal-breakers” – where you’re not willing to “go-to” under any circumstance. Examples of that would be topics you are willing to discuss, the time you allow others to take, or the behavior you will not accept.
The other part is simple but not easy, and it’s to honor and stick to your own arrangements with yourself, with no exceptions, as well as communicating them upfront to lay the ground for future reference.
If you are dealing with a person, that tries at all costs to bend or break your “personal acceptance threshold,” despite you clearly communicating what it is, this will surely be the first red flag to pay attention to and observe.
2. Don’t make assumptions and ask better questions.
As much as it’s important to communicate what your important things are, it’s also very good to find out what they are for the other person too. How often do we fall into the trap of assuming that we know the expectations of others, to later find out that they perceived our relations or communications in a completely different way than what we envisioned? Now that can result in arguments, fallouts, chargebacks, or even smearing your name publicly or legally. That’s because nothing hurts as much as broken expectations. Those will usually be extremely high in the case of unsupportive or flaky people, and that’s because they tend to expect much more of us than what is stated in a contract or what was agreed upon. The difference between the two groups only lies in the reasoning behind the demanding nature of their expectations but will result in the same overwhelm, difficulty to cope, and needing to get a third-party opinion or assistance.
An obvious example here is a very demanding 1 to 1 client who doesn’t understand the terms of your cooperation, so it is good to cover your ground way before the sale by stating the rules of your cooperation and clearly asking (and repeating back) what the clients’ expectations are, as well as leaving some space in the contract, where it will be clearly laid out, to cover the ground legally.
If you have a sales team, make sure they convey the right message too, as it’s always easier to make things clear before the cooperation starts, and not after, when your client is overwhelming you with calls on your day off or demanding you to do their work for them.
Also, remember to cover yourself with relevant disclaimers on your website or funnel, too, just to be on the safe side.
3. Overdeliver, not over-invest.
This one is so important if you’re a very open person like me. We should always aim to strike a balance between very nice and professional, though. As a service-based entrepreneur, I always try and come from the place of service, but a lot of times, I stumble across people who almost demand I give all my knowledge for free and without having to invest a penny in any of my programs. Speaking to other coaches, consultants, and freelancers, I can sadly see this is not just a case of a one-off incident but rather a formula that so many people feel entitled to abuse.
That doesn’t mean you should not help others, though. Kindness goes a long way, especially currently, but if you feel you are investing more than the other side, this is a massive red flag to look out for. On the other hand, most of our clients are absolute superstars and should be treated as such, and you should always aim to overdeliver in every course, info-product, or training!
If you feel that you’re doing more for the clients than they are actually willing to give out of themselves, especially when it comes to your valuable time, maybe it’s time to stop pushing so hard, as you are not really helping them, and may be overlooking those that will appreciate your efforts.
4. Choose to be kind, but don’t be kind for the sake of others.
Which in plain words means – stop being a people pleaser. It’s normal; we all have expectations. Not just for ourselves, but for others as well. A lot of the time, though, certain individuals are taking their expectations towards you to a whole different level, for example, by judging you based on how much of their expectations you are willing to fulfill. If you don’t behave “up to their standards” or work “on their timing,” you are later called out for being in the wrong, and more often than not, insensitive or unreliable. As much as it is always good to take a look at our own behavior and analyze that kind of opinion, there is always a fifty percent chance that the “issue” does not come from you having those characteristics, but because you have allowed for that treatment with being overly open in the first place.
That being said, don’t be horrible to others. Boundaries and standards don’t necessarily need to mean coldness. All of us on this planet, both personally and professionally, want to be acknowledged and appreciated for who we are and our efforts.
Knowing that it’s important to remember that we are all emotional beings. We strive to be understood, so at the end of the day, make sure you are kind and honest with others in your interactions and allow yourself to both be human and see human. Maintain the warmth whilst communicating your standards.
And if you come across people who are not willing to do the same for you, or when your expectations do not match or are too far from one another, maybe it’s time to move on and go separate ways.
5. Protect your assets and detach.
Like I’ve mentioned earlier, always make sure you cover your legal grounds with everything you do. Online business should be treated in the same way as a brick-and-mortar one when it comes to accountancy or legal matters. Doing that will prevent a lot of challenges on the way and can literally save your business from failing. Even if you don’t want to or think it’s unimportant at the beginning of your business journey, it’s good to at least think about the plans of implementing that as soon as possible.
Once you have those things in place, just do the best you can to enjoy the journey and stay enthusiastic, as, at the end of the day, we are in business for the sheer pleasure of doing what we love and having the freedom to enjoy it too.
Know there will always be obstacles, but paraphrasing the wonderful Les Brown, it’s not about praying there will be no obstacles, it’s about praying to be better prepared to overcome them.
Follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more info! Read more from Magdalena!
Magdalena Hanah, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Magdalena is a serial entrepreneur, an award-winning business productivity coach, and a creator of the A.I.P.D productivity framework for coaches, consultants, and freelancers.
She spent some 16 years studying and actively pursuing two of her passions: Neuroanthropology and Marketing. After building two international businesses and spending years on the sidelines, devoting her time to both her studies and looking after her son as a single mother, inspired by her own coach, she finally decided to take all her expertise and create a business that would help entrepreneurs all over the world. Her project aims to achieve quicker, better results without the stress and overwhelm resulting from information overload. It’s her mission to minimize the negative aspects of the globally acclaimed “hustle mentality” and help business owners rid of confusion around the most logical steps in their business, causing them to achieve more, work less and enjoy their journey in a more present, fulfilling way. Falling victim of the industry pressure and not being able to find products within the performance space that would completely address all aspects of our forever expanding conscious approach to life, she decided it’s time to build her own and adopted a more holistic approach by tackling mindset, action-set and spirituality together, for well-rounded results.
