Written by Penelope Claire, Coach & Healer
Penelope Claire helps spiritual women lose weight and gain bliss for good with energy healing. Penelope is the creator of Lightcode Body Bliss, a no-diet weight loss coaching & healing program for women to effortlessly shed the layers which they no longer need and create the body and life of their dreams.
As a spiritually-focused women’s weight loss coach and healer, many of my clients come to me aware that they have two problems. The number one problem is that they need to lose weight. The number two problem is that they need to heal from narcissistic abuse. The therapeutic effects of losing weight and healing from narcissistic abuse are, in both cases, critical for a woman’s physical, emotional, and spiritual health and well-being. When these two events take place, I witness profoundly positive mindset shifts and life changes in my clients.
Our eating and exercise behaviors, and our body weight and shape, can be dramatically altered by being in a relationship where we experience abuse, particularly the toxic and relentless abuse of a clinical narcissist. ‘Narcissistic Abuse’ is typically talked about in romantic relationships; however, the trauma from relationships with narcissistic parents and other family members, as well as bosses, co-workers, and “friends,” can be similarly damaging. Narcissists act out their personal pain and project it onto others in the form of emotional abuse and sometimes also physical violence as a habitual, lifelong behavior that is resistant to change or progress. We need to first realize we have a problem in order to heal ourselves, the realization which is sadly most often unavailable to a true narcissist's psyche.
My tendency to attract women clients who are healing from narcissistic abuse is a natural magnetism – I was raised by co-dependent narcissistic parents. The trauma of my upbringing had a profound effect on all aspects of my life, of which disordered eating and 15 years of yo-yo dieting were a part. A woman currently in, or recently separated from a narcissist in the same manner is usually impacted on all levels of her being. Frequently, I see women who have gained significant weight as a result of experiencing narcissistic abuse, usually in a long-term marriage/relationship.
Top 5 ways narcissistic abuse affects women's weight
1. Holding onto layers of protection
Carrying excess body weight as a subconscious mechanism to “protect” oneself from emotional and physical harm is one of the most common issues I coach and heal women through in my program. Many of my clients come to me very aware that they are holding onto old, stuck energy in the form of body fat so that they won’t ‘forget’ what part of them needs to ‘remember’ from lessons they feel they have learned when they were taunted, controlled, and attacked by their partners, often to relentless and excruciating levels. An armor of additional body fat on a sensitive, traumatized woman is often manifest as a subconscious repellant to future partners, where women do not feel that they are safe and clear to assess future men. “I don’t trust myself to know that the next man will not be a narcissist,” a client said to me, despite the fact that she had met her ex-partner in her 20s and was now in her 50s. Her trauma was so great that she was not feeling confident that she had gained sufficient wisdom or knowingness to sense a true narcissist in a romantic contender.
In my experience, holding onto ‘layers of protection’ is actually one of the easiest issues to shift to change a woman’s bodily makeup and allow the weight to fall away effortlessly. When women are given a supportive space to release their suppressed stress and grief, to have their story heard without denial, ignorance, projection, or spiritual bypassing—which is unfortunately very common in uneducated and ignorant social and therapeutic settings—and they receive specialized healing techniques to remove the trauma imprints from their energy field, weight loss can occur quite rapidly.
2. Emotional eating including food, sugar & alcohol addiction
When dealing with narcissistic abuse, many women turn to food, sugar, and alcohol to cope with the emotional pain and stress. The constant manipulation and gaslighting leaves my clients feeling extremely isolated and stressed, and food can chemically and emotionally help women to self-medicate, as a temporary fix. This can lead to significant weight gain over time as the temporary relief turns into a tough habit to break.
Breaking this cycle can be hard because emotional eating and drinking temporarily ease the pain and give women a sense of control, even if it’s fleeting. However, this comfort is short-lived and often followed by guilt and shame, creating a viscous cycle.. In my practice, I help women recognize these patterns and develop healthier ways to cope. Through energy healing, we clear the root of their emotional pain, helping them to break the cycles of addiction and create joy rather than manage pain!
3. Lack of self-worth causing reduced self-care
Experiencing Narcissistic abuse is extremely damaging to a woman’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Constant criticism and belittling from an abuser can make my clients feel like they don’t deserve love, care, or attention. This often leads to neglecting their own needs and well-being. For example, my clients share with me that within their toxic relationship, they may have stopped exercising, adopted poor eating habits, commenced stress, emotional and overeating, and generally felt very “out of body” and ungrounded and disconnected from their physical vessel. All of these symptoms can contribute to weight gain and poor health.
A Narcissist with a capital N (as opposed to a person temporarily exhibiting narcissistic traits) is a deeply wounded individual with profound self-loathing. They feed off other people’s emotional energy to make themselves feel empowered and worthy. While many of us struggle with self-esteem at times, a Narcissist is in a constant state of self-loathing and feels entitled to use other people’s emotions as fuel to fill their emotional and spiritual void.
In addition to the generalized stress and trauma from engaging with a Narcissist, these personalities often target their victims with calculated attacks specifically designed to erode self-esteem and security about their physical appearance. They might suggest that their spouse is 'fat' and 'unattractive,' claiming they could never find another partner because of this, trapping them in the abusive relationship.
Rebuilding your self-worth is a crucial part of healing. In my coaching sessions, I work with my clients to reclaim their self-love and self-empowerment. With specialised personal development and manifestation techniques, accompanied by quantum energy healings, we dismantle the negative beliefs instilled by the abuser and replace them with positive, empowering realities. As my clients start to see themselves as worthy of care and love, they naturally begin to engage in self-care practices that support their health and well-being.
4. Hormonal imbalance and inflammation from the stress of the relationship
Constant stress and anxiety from a narcissistic relationship can really mess with our hormones. Our bodies are designed for short bursts of emergency action, not prolonged periods of high tension. Chronic stress can lead to elevated levels of cortisol, a hormone associated with weight gain, especially around the belly. High cortisol levels also increase our appetite and cravings for high-calorie, sugary foods, contributing to weight gain.
In addition to hormonal imbalances, chronic stress causes inflammation throughout the body. This inflammation can lead to various health issues, including insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome, making it even harder to maintain a healthy weight. The combination of hormonal imbalance and inflammation creates a compounded issue for weight gain and overall poor health in the women that I see that can prove quite stubborn if the situation is not delat with holistically at the mind, body and spirit level.
In my coaching and healing practice, we focus on reducing stress and calming inflammation from anger and irritation to help a woman’s body return to a balanced state. Ultimately, we look to address the root cause of hormonal imbalance and bodily inflammation, rather than using bandaid techniques. Addressing root cause issues with energy healing and intuitive coaching alongside introducing small daily habits and lifestyle changes, is the perfect combination to create permanent change to calm one’s nervous system, lower cortisol levels, and reduce inflammation, making it easier to lose weight and stay healthy.
5. Post-traumatic stress
Post-traumatic stress is a common result of enduring narcissistic abuse. The constant emotional turmoil, fear, and unpredictability can leave deep, lasting scars. Many women I work with experience symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, depression, poor self-esteem, and a pervasive loss of trust in life itself. These symptoms can make it incredibly difficult to engage in healthy behaviors and maintain a balanced lifestyle.
At the subconscious level, this trauma can create behaviors that run on autopilot, with repressed emotions driving unconscious actions. When we address and release the traumatic energy stored in your body and mind, we can tackle the root causes of trauma. This approach helps reduce PTSD symptoms and lays the groundwork for lasting healing and weight loss. I’ve seen women develop disordered eating and weight gain only after ending their abusive relationships, as they finally have space to confront their long-suppressed emotions.
Our emotions have a powerful connection to our body weight. In my experience, emotional stress and trauma are the biggest issues affecting the women I talk to and work with. It's often the weight loss industry's “best kept secret” that emotional healing is crucial. This is why coaching and energy healing have such a profound impact on resolving stubborn weight gain and breaking yo-yo dieting patterns. By addressing unhealed trauma and subconscious blockages, women can finally lose weight for good and stop the cycle of gaining it back.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is a journey, but with the right support and techniques, lasting transformation is entirely possible. I am dedicated to guiding women through the process of not only healing from narcissitc abuse, but shedding the weight for good that came with the trauma that they endured.
Penelope Claire, Coach & Healer
Penelope is a pioneer in the tired and flooded weight loss industry and a specialist in the space where holistic wellness, self-empowerment, and spirituality meet. She is an intuitive coach, quantum energy healer, aquatic bodyworker & event leader. Having organically healed her own 15-year journey of disordered eating, yo-yo dieting & fluctuating body weight. Penelope specialises as a no-diet weight loss coach for empathic women with her proven personal and group online coaching & healing programs. She offers additional wellness & spiritual services in person and online.