Written by: Elsbeth van Lienden, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When I ask someone, anywhere in the world and from all kinds of backgrounds, ‘If you would have an honest look, wouldn’t you agree you can do better?’ 90% answers ‘Yes, I could’. Immediately followed by ‘But I don’t know how.’ There is a huge gap between knowing what you can or want to do and the actual doing, which hinders exponential growth in business as well as living an abundant life.
So, what’s the problem!? The problem is in your mind.
Let’s first make it clear, what really is the Mind?
As you might know, we tend to think in pictures. When I ask you to think about your first car, your kid, or your favorite destiny in the world, you will immediately have a visual, although oftentimes subconsciously. But what is in mind, we don’t really have an accurate picture for that! Let me share one with you, a simple stick person created by the late Dr. Thurman Fleet, the founder of Concept Therapy.
Imagine a circle divided by a straight line in the middle. The upper part is the conscious mind (also the thinking mind). The lower part is the subconscious mind (also the feeling mind). The two parts combined are what we call the mind. There’s also a body attached, but I’ll leave that out for now.
Now imagine five short lines coming out of the upper part of the circle, like five hairs. These represent our senses - sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. The conscious mind usually gets its input through the five senses and is able to reject or accept the ideas, information, and thoughts that enter. It’s in here where my ideas get shape.
The conscious mind is only formed after some 7 years after birth! Before that age, the mind looks a little different. Only the lower part of the two parts is present without the dividing line. The subconscious mind is wide open to receive anything! Important to know is that the conscious mind is not capable of accepting or rejecting. It must simply accept. There’s no other way. This means that all information enters into the young subconscious mind, unfiltered, and becomes truth once things are repeatedly put in there by parents, teachers, social media, television, friends, and so on.
Let Me Share Two Examples that Illustrate What’s Happening
Imagine growing up in an ultrarich family, with an abundant lifestyle, golden cups, several houses and cars, plenty of money, reading lots of books, and you get the picture. Your subconscious mind would be filled with ideas and beliefs about anything is possible, money is a good thing, work is nice, enjoy life, life is good, and so on. These beliefs will become your habitual way of thinking and being.
Now imagine growing up in a working-class family, with parents who believe work is something that needs to be done to earn money, to have a vacation once a year, kind of dislike the bosses at the top, watch television a lot, highly opinionated about those who do have a lot of money, saying things like ‘money does not grow on trees. See the difference in what goes unfiltered into the subconscious mind? And anything going into the subconscious mind repeatedly becomes fixed as a habitual way of thinking and being.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there is no right or wrong in both examples; those are just two extremes. It’s of no use to pinpoint better or worse since all people are made of the same stuff. We all originate from a divine source, and divine power is flowing to, through, and out of us (in the form of results). That is absolutely the same for all; we differ in the beliefs that we’ve inherited. We see our world and possibilities through the filter of our beliefs, habitual thoughts, and actions.
What’s a Paradigm and How it is Preventing the Growth
The set of fixed habits and beliefs in the subconscious mind is called a Paradigm. A paradigm is a mental program that controls all of your habitual behavior and guesses what; almost all of your behavior is habitual.
This is what’s happening: the paradigm dictates your view of the world, of possibilities, of what’s your perception of normal. And it will always find ways to keep you stuck at this level of awareness because it wants everything to be the same. Getting you from birth to your coffin in complete safety. Isn’t that boring and also a kind of sad truth!? And to make things worse, the paradigm is thus mostly made up of the beliefs of someone else! They are not even your own beliefs, and they became yours up to the point that you believe you are your thoughts. Remember, you have thoughts.
Now, let’s go back to the gap between knowing what you could be, do or have better and what you actually do. This is what usually happens.
At first, you start to think about what you desire, what sets you on fire, what inspires you. You put a desired visual on the screen of your mind.
This picture, however, is most likely not aligned with your paradigm, your fixed set of habits and beliefs. So doubt kicks in as soon as you are back in reality. “How can I do this? I’m not sure if I can do this. It’s not the right time. I first have to learn more. I am not confident. First, my kids need to grow up.” And so on!
Your thoughts are turning towards the present, unwanted situation again. And since your thoughts create your reality, you’ll end up with more of what you don’t want. You need to change your thinking. Think only of the things you do want!
At some point, the idea is in your awareness again, and you become more and more certain you do want to realize your desire, so you start going in the seemingly right direction. You start looking for possibilities outside of yourself. A next course, a book, a training, gurus, the 7 steps to becoming a millionaire, a sales training, or a next project that distracts you from what you really want. By wanting to solve the how you add more stuff to your thinking mind instead of impressing new emotions belonging to your desire upon the subconscious mind. You learn new things but lack the productive actions that will really move you forward. The paradigm prevents you from taking these actions. It has won again.
There is only one thing that really helps to forever leave the unwanted reality behind: change the paradigm. This is the truth that will set you free! If you change the paradigm, you’ll change results. Always. Period!
Changing the paradigm.
You now know what a paradigm is, how it is created and what trouble it causes. If you ever wondered how come the sales team had the same training, and a few people are exceeding, and some don’t? Why the billions spent in the training industry make no real difference in output? You followed several coaching or training programs, yet results lack? Do you want to increase your monthly income, but you still haven’t?
It’s in the paradigm. It’s of no use to do more training or whatsoever unless you change the paradigm first. This is also valid for organizations because they, too, have paradigms.
Although I highly recommend you find help changing the paradigm because you don’t know what you don’t know, these five steps will get you moving in the right direction!
1. You first have to be very clear on what it is that you want.
What do you want? Do you have a goal that really excites you? Something you’ve never done before and don’t know how to do it. Paradigms are easier to change when something is at stake or if you are sick and tired of results. I always advise organizations to stop the goals that add a small percentage to last year's results. That’s so boring and uninspiring! Second, you have to make a committed decision: is this goal a hell yes for me?!
2. You have to get clear on your habitual ways of thinking and behaving and consequently put in place new ways of thinking and being.
A good way to start is to find out what you are resisting in pursuing this goal. What is it you don’t like? You’ll find clues of paradigms in there.
Also, only focus on how you can do it. Make sure you impress the new goal, your new way of being upon the subconscious mind by getting emotionally involved in this new goal.
3. You have to act.
You cannot just sit around and wait for the magic to happen. Life is a dance between making it happen and letting it happen. Once you decide which new habits and behavior will get you closer to your goal, you do and be them. The universe loves speed, so you immediately take action. The how will show up via the higher faculties unique to humans as for example, intuition.
4. When acting, you have to face the terror barrier.
No matter how successful someone seems, we all have this barrier. Over and over again, although it becomes easier once it becomes a habit of breaking this barrier. This barrier is really the old paradigm screaming out loud that you have to stop what you are doing. That it is unsafe, what will people think? How can you be sure to pay the rent? You cannot just quit your C-level job. But of course, you don’t listen to this little voice in your head. You move forward. You stick to the plan.
5. Repetition, perseverance, and faith are what will do the magic.
Successful people have their eye on the ball, and if they drop it, they don’t stop; they pick it up. They make good use of another higher faculty, the will. It’s not a matter of ‘this might happen, no, it will happen. The will to move through the barrier and to do what it takes, keep on finding paradigms to kick butt, have clear long and short-term goals, and do what is required.
That’s it! Very simple, not necessarily easy, but for sure the only way to experience exponential growth in business and good fortune in life. There’s absolutely no need to stay stuck for yet another hour, week, month, year, or the rest of your life. Once on this path, changes will come rapidly.
How would you feel if you truly live the life you desire? Lead an outperforming team? Have a meaningful impact on the world?
What would you do if anything was possible? And you know anything is possible. It’s like Bob Proctors’ saying:
"Change is inevitable, Personal growth is a choice."
Don’t let the how, the money, the time, the children, the title, the whatever stop you! You are no different than anybody else; no matter where you are at in life, we all have the same infinite, abundant power to our disposable. Use it wisely because your time on this earth plane is not infinite!
When you’ve read this article all the way to here, you want to take that as a sign (Tip: be aware of a variety of signs alerting you to all kinds of possibilities). If you really want to speed things up in life and/or business and are ready to invest time and money to create your desire, please feel free to request a 20-minute call to get clear on your goal and paradigm. Send a mail to info@thepinkwalnut.com with a short description of what you believe will help make this call an amazing experience for you!
Elsbeth van Lienden, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Elsbeth van Lienden is the founder of consulting boutique The Pink Walnut, a keynote speaker on mindset, and also associated with the Proctor Gallagher Institute as a consultant. Elsbeth, who is known for recognizing and breaking patterns with velocity and her intuitive & creative faculties, guides individuals, groups, and companies in discovering their deepest desires, reaching their true potential, and achieving their personal and professional goals in a lasting way. For as long as she remembers, she was certain about people being able to create what they think of. She backed this theory with science and now walks her talk. If you’d like to create the life or business you’ve been dreaming of, contact Elsbeth by email at info@thepinkwalnut.com.
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