Written by David Bingley, Leadership, Mindset & Empowerment Coaching
David Bingley is Certified Professional Co-Active Coach and a Professional Certified Coach with over 2,000 hours of 1:1 Coaching experience. He is an expert in Leadership, Mindset and Empowerment Coaching, working on the mindful practice of mental and emotional fitness and self-awareness.
Why are they not on the same page as me? What is their problem? Don’t they get it? Excellent questions bouncing around inside my head. Note my head!
I intend to be effective and efficient and get things done. However, my actions and behaviors are not aligned with those of the other parties involved. Meaning I am showing my impatience with them, why can’t they see the best way forward like I can, etc. Why? Because I am caught up in my safe little world with my perceptions and narratives. I haven’t shared it because it is blindingly obvious. (to me).
Is it? Can you relate to this? Is this you, or was this you many moons ago?
I think we have all been there, and some of us are still there.
What to do?
Step 1: Not everyone is you. So let that go. Be open to another opinion or perspective.
Step 2: Be neutral. You can have an agenda and desired outcome for the meeting or discussion. Be wary of holding on to it too tightly. Holding on too tightly is limiting for all parties concerned. Be open and invite or allow for a nebulas flow to the conversation.
Step 3: Be Curious and Listen. Start the relationship or engagement by listening, being curious, and asking questions. Get to know the other parties and what they want to get out of the relationship or discussion. The danger here is to assume we know what’s best and get moving. Time spent in this phase is a cornerstone to a successful and aligned relationship or partnership. Remember, everyone wants to be seen, heard, recognized, and respected.
Step 4: Be Curious and ask Questions. Explore, don’t assume. We may think we understand the other party, but do we really? Ask them to expand on what they mean. Try to get into the specificity of what they are saying. “God is in the details,” as they say. This builds on the fact that everyone wants to be seen, heard, recognized, and respected.
Step 5: How does what they are telling you impact or influence your planned assumptions and narrative that you had prior to the meeting? What did you learn about the other party? What do they want? What is important to them? What were they really saying? How can you align what they want with what you have and weave it into a win-win?
It is a Mindset that cascades into elevating your Executive Presence in many ways.
It is more than communication or framing. It is a harmony of skills and qualities that work together for you to show up in the way that you want. This means your Intentions, Actions, and Behaviors are aligned. Your messaging is crisp and clear. You are connecting with others with equality and equity. You are building a collaborative environment based on mutual respect. You are building a relationship based on mutual trust and appreciation.
What a fantastic foundation to start any relationship.
In-Vision It!
Take small steps to live large!
David Bingley, Leadership, Mindset & Empowerment Coaching
David Bingley is Certified Professional Co-Active Coach and a Professional Certified Coach with over 2,000 hours of 1:1 Coaching experience. He is an expert in Leadership, Mindset and Empowerment Coaching, working on the mindful practice of mental and emotional fitness and self-awareness. By exploring perspectives to define purpose and direction (our vision, mission and ambition for ourself and the world) to how we frame ourself and embrace our values so our intentions and actions are aligned. David founded In-Vision Coaching as a platform to assist people to empower themselves, take control of their life using the strategies, frameworks and structures he developed to fine tune for peak performance. You may work with David in 1:1 coaching, team coaching or specialist workshops, taking small steps to… Live Large!
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