Written by Ivy Comota, Personal Coach
Ivy Comota is a certified coach who specifically helps high-achieving women and gay men overcome unique challenges in creating more success in all areas of their lives.
Have you ever felt like you're in a constant struggle to achieve the life you want, only to find yourself right back where you began? You’re putting in the effort, yet the same frustrating patterns keep emerging. Maybe it's the relentless cycle of debt, falling for the same kind of guy, or always ending up in arguments that leave you drained. Perhaps you feel constantly taken advantage of, or you keep making choices that don't serve you well. This isn't just a coincidence; it's a sign that something deeper needs addressing.
Our lives are shaped by our early experiences and the significant people who surrounded us. These memories, stored deep within us, often dictate our current behaviours. But there's a way to break free from these limiting patterns: by tapping into the powerful and transformative force of feminine energy.
It’s time to shift your focus inward and connect with this incredible power within you. Doing so will not only help you overcome past patterns but also create a pathway to more success and fulfilment. Embracing your feminine energy is an empowering journey that can help you navigate challenges and approach change with a sense of compassion and openness, making the process less daunting and manageable. This is your moment to break the cycle and reclaim your power.
Pinpoint the underlying issue
Our past experiences play a crucial role in shaping our current behaviours and thought patterns. For instance, repeating financial difficulties might be rooted in beliefs about money and self-worth developed during childhood. Similarly, ongoing relationship issues may stem from early attachments and learned behaviours that continue to influence our adult interactions.
Take a moment to reflect on your early influences. What were the messages you received about yourself and the world around you? These messages, often ingrained during childhood, can deeply impact your adult life. This is why the concept of “inner child” is a common language you’ll hear when you start to open yourself to a proactive approach to your personal growth experiences and emotions from your early years. These early experiences can shape our beliefs, behaviors, and reactions in our adult life. Many of the patterns we find ourselves repeating stem from unmet needs or unresolved emotions from childhood. By reconnecting with our inner child, we begin to address these deep-rooted issues. A feminine energy-specific coach can provide structured support in this process.
By reconnecting to our early experiences and nurturing this inner relationship, we bridge the gap between past and present. The door to healing and transformation begins.
Tap into your feminine energy
Feminine energy isn't about gender. Tapping into this energy is all about consciously embracing qualities like intuition, creativity, empathy, compassion and nurturing. These attributes are key to providing balance to the masculine energy of logic, action, and assertiveness. In the world we have been living in, where the masculine way of succeeding and working towards our goals or desires is embraced more, we deprive ourselves of making choices that are aligned with our true selves.
The truth is that feminine energy is your untapped reservoir of strength, waiting to be harnessed for your transformation. When fully embraced, it becomes a potent tool for breaking free from repetitive and destructive cycles, fostering personal growth, and opening the door to new experiences and possibilities.
First step: Develop self-awareness
Understanding yourself is the foundation for any meaningful change. Self-awareness is not just about recognising the cycle but also about understanding the underlying causes that perpetuate it. It's time to dive deep and uncover the recurring patterns and triggers that hold you back. Start by taking a hard look at your daily experiences. What situations seem to lead you down the same negative paths? Notice the emotional and mental responses that these situations provoke.
Mindfulness meditation is an excellent tool for this. It allows you to observe your thoughts without judgment, helping you identify those persistent negative loops. Reflective journaling can also offer powerful insights. Spend time each day writing about your seeking the guidance of a therapist or a coach. Professional support can provide an objective perspective and help you uncover deeper layers of your subconscious mind. Therapy offers a safe space to explore your past and understand how it shapes your present.
Don't shy away from asking trusted friends for their observations about your behavioural patterns. Often, those close to you can see things you might miss. Their insights can be incredibly valuable in helping you see yourself more clearly.
Lastly, practice mindful living. Pay attention to your body, thoughts, and surroundings throughout the day. This practice enhances your self-awareness, allowing you to catch negative patterns as they start rather than after they've taken hold. Developing self-awareness is an ongoing journey, but every step forward equips you with the knowledge to create lasting change.
Second step: Embrace self-compassion
Self-compassion is a vital part of healing and transformation. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a dear friend. Embrace your humanity, recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges. The journey to break free from limiting patterns is not linear, and it’s essential to be gentle with yourself during this process.
Incorporate daily affirmations into your routine. Simple phrases like “I am enough” or “I forgive myself” can work wonders in reshaping your mindset. Remind yourself that growth takes time and effort, and it's okay to stumble along the way.
Dedicate time to self-care activities that rejuvenate you. Whether it’s a relaxing bath, a walk in nature, or reading a favourite book, prioritize these moments as non-negotiable parts of your day. Self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity for your well-being.
Challenge your inner critic by reframing negative self-talk. When you catch yourself thinking, “I’m not good enough,” counter it with, “I am doing my best, and that is enough.” Cultivating this practice can gradually shift your perspective towards a more compassionate and loving view of yourself.
Seek support from friends, family, or support groups who uplift and encourage you. Surrounding yourself with positive influences can make a significant difference in your self-compassion journey. Remember, embracing self-compassion is an ongoing practice, but it’s one that will fundamentally transform how you view and treat yourself.
Third step: Establish boundaries
Boundaries are essential for protecting your energy and maintaining balance. They are vital for ensuring that your time, energy, and well-being are respected and preserved. Start by identifying areas in your life where you feel overextended or taken for granted. It could be in your relationships, workplace, or personal commitments. Once you’ve pinpointed these areas, it’s time to assert your needs clearly and confidently.
Communicate your boundaries with conviction, understanding that saying "no" is an act of self-respect, not selfishness. Don't feel guilty for prioritizing yourself; you can't pour from an empty cup. Practice asserting your limits in small ways first, like taking a break when you need it or declining invitations that don't align with your priorities. Gradually, these small acts of self-preservation will become second nature.
Remember, your boundaries are not walls; they are safeguards that allow you to engage with the world from a place of strength and clarity. Upholding these boundaries consistently sends a powerful message to yourself and others that your needs matter and deserve to be honoured.
Fourth step: Welcome emotional expression
Expressing your emotions is a game-changer for mental and emotional health. Bottling up feelings leads to internal stress, so let them out. Start by acknowledging how you feel without judgment. It's okay to feel anger, sadness, or joy; each emotion serves a purpose. Use journaling as a tool to capture these emotions. Write freely about your day, your struggles, and your triumphs. This practice offers clarity and a sense of release.
If writing isn't your thing, talk it out. Share your feelings with a trusted friend or a therapist.
Engage in creative outlets like painting, music, or dance to express your feelings in a non-verbal way. These activities can be incredibly liberating and help you connect with your inner self. Physical movements, such as exercise or yoga, can also help release pent-up emotions and restore your balance. Embrace activities that allow you to feel and express your full range of emotions. Remember, emotional expression is a form of strength, not weakness. It enables you to process experiences fully, paving the way for personal growth and greater resilience. By welcoming your emotions, you gain the power to navigate life's ups and downs with grace and authenticity.
Fifth step: Nurture creativity and intuition
Creativity and intuition are the lifeblood of your feminine energy, essential for driving personal growth and making decisions that resonate with your true self. Start by immersing yourself in activities that ignite your creative spirit whether it's painting, writing, or dancing, let these pursuits awaken your inner muse.
Trust your gut feelings when making choices. Your intuition is a powerful guide that knows what's best for you, often before your logical mind catches on. Regularly engage in mindfulness practices like meditation to sharpen this intuitive sense, allowing you to hear your inner voice more clearly.
Surround yourself with environments and people that inspire you. Sometimes, a change of scenery or a stimulating conversation can spark the kind of creative thinking that leads to breakthroughs.
Lastly, don't be afraid to experiment. Trying new things can uncover hidden talents and open up new avenues for personal and professional growth. By nurturing your creativity and intuition, you empower yourself to navigate life with confidence and authenticity, making choices that truly align with who you are.
Closing remarks
Powerful toolkit to break free from those repetitive, limiting cycles that have held you back. Remember, this journey is about progress, not perfection. Every step you take, no matter how small, moves you closer to a life filled with success and fulfilment.
Stay committed to developing self-awareness. This ongoing practice will keep you grounded and focused. Embrace self-compassion; it’s your lifeline during challenging times. Setting boundaries is not only a necessity but also an act of self-love. Protect your energy fiercely, knowing that you deserve to be respected and valued. Welcome your emotions with open arms; they are the keys to understanding yourself deeply. Expressing them freely will bring immense clarity and release.
Finally, never underestimate the power of your creativity and intuition. These are your guiding lights, leading you to make decisions that align with your true self. Trust them wholeheartedly and let them inspire you to explore new possibilities.
Your potential is limitless, and with determination and perseverance, you will unlock levels of success and fulfilment you never thought possible. Keep pushing your limits, stay relentless in your pursuit, and know that you are fully supported on this transformative journey. Your best life is within reach. Claim it with all your heart.
Read more from Ivy Comota
Ivy Comota, Personal Coach
My passion for greater awareness of feminine energy among high-achieving women and gay men was sparked by my journey of overcoming my own struggle to create more success in all areas of my life from a place of ease, joy, and fun.
Combining both traditional and innovative techniques, I have created a 5-step process to guide my clients to understand their true power and transform into the life they've always wanted.
I believe redefining success through feminine energy principles can propel us toward more authentic, balanced, and sustainable success.
