Dr. Attaway has worked in Holistic Women's Health for nearly 20 years. Her clinical experiences are now translated into coaching groups, workshops, and written media. She promotes simple strategies for getting and staying healthy.
We all love to start the year by setting big goals for ourselves. New Year, New You. Right? Although we love setting the goal, we don't love planning the work to achieve it. Most of the time, the goal is arbitrary, like “in 2025, I will finally lose this 10 pounds I’ve been carrying.”
But that’s the extent of the planning. Or, we make a crazy plan like:
Cutting calories to 1200
Working out every day for an hour
Hiring a personal trainer for three days a week
Giving up sugar entirely
Joining a tennis team
Using a fitness tracker every day
And then all of that feels crazy, so you stop doing it in a few weeks.
Changes are most effective when they are small, meaningful, measurable, and compounding.
This means that you must decide what feels most important, most likely, and most accessible. And start with that.
5 reasons that you don’t stick to your resolutions
1. Your goals are arbitrary
You choose something that sounds good or desirable but doesn't have precision or value. Yes, 10 pounds sounds good, like the right amount, but that’s a random estimation. What if you actually feel great after losing only seven pounds? Are you a failure if you don’t lose all ten?
Instead, try creating a goal that has more value and meaning.
“I’m going to lose enough weight to fit comfortably in my favorite jeans, so I don’t have to buy new ones.”
Nothing bad will happen if you don’t lose 10 pounds, but you’ll have to spend more money and time investing in more clothes. But choosing a goal that has meaning and serves the purpose of advancing you and preventing you from harm will have a much more lasting impact.
The goal to get back into your jeans comfortably means you hit the goal of weight loss, but you also prevent having to waste time and energy on clothing you don’t want.
You get the good thing but also avoid the bad thing, and that’s a better incentive to keep pursuing it.
2. Your goals are lofty
We are told to “Dream big,” and that’s wonderful and valuable, but big dreams without plans or action are just dreams.
If you start a new business and you dream of earning $250,000 in your first year, that’s great. But is it unlikely? What are the plans for your revenue? Do you think you’ll earn as much in the first month as you will at the end of the year? Probably not.
It’s better to set smaller and more manageable goals, like “I plan to earn $25,00 in the first quarter by taking these steps.”
Then, set quarterly goals that grow by a reasonable amount.
Yes, you do want to imagine the end, but in the beginning, you need to stay in a place that helps you gain confidence and build momentum. If your goals are so far from being plausible, then you can quickly become hopeless and quit.
Smaller wins set you up for what’s possible by gaining a little momentum with passing time. Keep moving your goal post, but focus on “Couch to 5K” instead of “Couch to marathon.”
3. You choose too many resolutions
You want to start jogging, meditating, making more time for friends, taking a painting class, building a side hustle, and having a monthly potluck at your house.
But that’s not likely to happen. Too many ideas make for chaos, so you have to narrow it down to what feels most important and most likely to stick.
So, choose the three things that are most compelling and plan them out each week. If you plan for one thing each day, then by the end of each week, you have accomplished something every day and feel successful.
4. You don’t put things on your calendar,r so they don’t get done
For resolutions to stick to, they need to have realistic space on the calendar. In such a busy world, it’s easy to think about doing things but hard to find the time.
Planning for days and times makes hitting the target plausible. Don’t think that you are going to go from zero to sixty minutes of walking every day of the week. That’s unlikely to stick.
Plan for something more reasonable, like 20-minute walks three days a week. Then, you can easily add more time when it fits or an extra day once you’ve adapted to your new routine.
For example:
Plan to practice meditation for 20 minutes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Plan to jog for 20 minutes before you get ready for work on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday mornings.
Take Sunday off and spend that time working on your calendar and next week’s plan.
Planning for changes works best when your list is simple and mapped out. Don’t try to hit 6 targets every day, and it won’t work. Try for one or two, and be realistic.
In a month, when you are successful at those, you will add the next step. You are building on small wins and making habits that last.
5. You are adding more “work” to your already hectic life
Most of the time, we choose resolutions that are designed to make us better, more successful, more prolific, and more athletic, but we are already strapped for time and energy, so is adding more always the best answer?
Most people suffer from excess productivity and lack of free time. That’s a recipe for burnout.
Instead of just adding more to your daily to-do list, try taking things away.
This year, strip your calendar of things that wear you down. Give up a board seat, add an extra parent to your carpool group, and leave work at 2 on Fridays. Find places where you can cut things off the list and make more time for yourself.
Without any time for spontaneity and creativity, we burn ourselves out and give up on our goals. When you shift your priorities you can make time; time for yourself!
Try making 2025 the year you consistently made small changes, and let each month of successes carry you to the next step. By the end of the year, you will look back at your achievements and feel wildly successful.
Choose small, steady, and manageable instead of going big and giving up by February.
Read more from Dr. Erin Attaway
Dr. Erin Attaway, Doctor of Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine
Dr. Erin Attaway is a leader in Women’s Health and fertility medicine, A busy mother, business owner, and entrepreneur, she promotes reliable and accessible resources for women to integrate into their lives. She believes good health is simple if you’re willing to do the work. Her mission is to empower women everywhere to care for themselves how they deserve.
