Lorii Abela is a board-certified master NLP practitioner, success coach, soulmate expert, and professional matchmaker. She specializes in assisting successful executives who feel lonely, frustrated, and burnt out from online dating.
At the onset of a relationship, it is usual to feel like you have stumbled upon the crème de la crème. That perfect person you will pose alongside for fancy holiday card photos while wearing your coordinated plaid pajamas or even purchase matching his and hers mugs together finally showed up.
Nevertheless, while you're busy falling head over heels for your beloved, it is essential to remember that not everything that glitters is gold. Unfortunately, some things, indeed, are too good to be true. There are a couple of red flags you ought to look out for in your next relationship that can save you heartaches.
If you are wondering why your relationships have not worked out, it can be one or a combination of the following factors.
Expert matchmaker Lorii Abela knows these negative signs all too well and is ready to help you find your match.
Top overlooked red flags to watch out for
1. Love bombing
Love bombing in a relationship can be challenging to identify. It happens when your partner appears exceptionally affectionate and does an endless list of incredible things for you. You will feel as if you are over the moon, but unfortunately, their efforts are not genuine.
Love bombing is frequently used as a tactic to exert control over you eventually, influence, and manipulate you.
If your partner lavishes you with gifts or overloads you with compliments early on, they may genuinely like you. However, if these don't feel sincere and are done superfluously quickly, this is a cause for concern and maybe love bombing.
Love bombing is quite evident when you're no longer in a person's good graces. You may notice that as soon as you do something your partner doesn't like, they instantly withdraw affection, leaving you in a love desert, hoping for just an ounce of their love to quench your thirst.
2. Lack of emotional intelligence
A lack of emotional intelligence can manifest through the following signs: a person who cannot admit when they are wrong, who repeatedly argues, is easily offended, who is pessimistic, and who cannot acknowledge other people's feelings.
Imagine venting to your partner; they instantly make it about themselves or dismiss your feelings. For example, say you've had a tough, trying day at work, and upon venting, you are met with the words "I have it worse" from your partner.
In the long term, this will result in a relationship that appears one-sided, leading to empty feelings.
3. Bad-mouthing of their exes
If someone else is always the problem in your lover's book of tales, they might be the real issue.
An individual who happens to have a long list of exes who did them wrong and can never admit to any fault on their part is not capable of self-reflection. If your relationship with them were to end, they may paint you as the bad guy to everyone.
In addition, even if they were not the problem in their past relationships, a trail of terrible ex-lovers means they could be better at picking partners and have better judgment.
4. Having no friends as an adult
Friendship breakups are common when you reach adulthood, but if your partner has no close friends, it is time to wonder what they are doing to repel everyone.
If your mate cannot make bonds and people are avoiding them, the traits they are exhibiting that are repelling others may soon seep into your relationship. Consequently, if your partner lacks friends, the chances that they will be overly clingy towards you are high.
In some cases, your partner may even make you feel guilty for choosing to spend time with your friends over them, which is another red flag in itself.
5. Putting down other people to compliment you
In a healthy relationship, genuine compliments should uplift both partners and strengthen their bond. However, when someone consistently puts down others to praise you, it is a red flag. This behavior may initially feel flattering, as you're seemingly placed on a pedestal above everyone else. Yet, this kind of compliment is often superficial and comes at the expense of someone else's dignity.
When your partner uses unfavorable comparisons or belittles others to make you feel good about yourself, it reveals more about their insecurities and lack of respect for others. This behavior can create an unhealthy dynamic where you may feel pressured to maintain a particular image to continue receiving compliments, thereby leading to a false sense of validation.
Moreover, if your beloved's compliments come at the cost of denigrating others, it can foster a toxic environment of competition and judgment. Over time, you may start questioning the sincerity of their praise and whether your partner truly values you for who you are, rather than as a means to boost their ego.
Being mindful of these red flags can help you safeguard your heart and cultivate a healthy relationship. Lorii Abela can provide expert guidance to help you navigate these pitfalls and steer you toward a fulfilling connection.
Read more from Lorii Abela
Lorii Abela, Soulmate Expert and Professional Matchmaker
Lorii Abela is a board-certified master NLP practitioner, success coach, soulmate expert, and professional matchmaker. She specializes in assisting successful executives who feel lonely, frustrated, and burnt out from online dating. Lorii's approach not only saves them time but also brings happiness by guiding them into the right mindset, resulting in meeting quality, relationship-oriented matches 93% of the time. As a five-time international bestselling author, her debut book, "Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life," has garnered acclaim. Lorii is a dynamic TV host and producer of "Matchmaker Secrets," "Ready, Jetset, Go!," and "Scale Up." These shows air on CAN TV Chicago, Roku, and Firestick.
