Written by: Juanita Viale, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The pursuit of perfection has become a common obsession in modern society for many, especially with the influence of social media. However, it is crucial to understand the distinction between perfectionism and excellence. While both concepts involve aiming for the best possible outcome, the mindset and approach behind each can greatly impact our well-being and success.
This article will explore the difference between perfectionism and excellence and provide five mindful approaches for embracing excellence in various aspects of life and 5 signs to look out for in perfectionist tendencies.
Understanding perfectionism
Perfectionism is a mindset characterized by setting excessively high standards, being overly self-critical, and fearing failure. Those who strive for perfection often experience anxiety, stress, and dissatisfaction due to their relentless pursuit of flawlessness. Perfectionism can hinder personal growth and creativity, leading to missed opportunities and burnout.
In a study conducted by Frost, Marten, Lahart, and Rosenblate, they proposed a multidimensional model of perfectionism, identifying three distinct dimensions: self-oriented perfectionism (setting high standards for oneself), other-oriented perfectionism (setting high standards for others), and socially prescribed perfectionism (believing that others have high standards for oneself). They developed and validated the Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale (MPS) to measure these dimensions.
Their findings highlighted the different ways in which perfectionism manifests and its potential impact on psychological well-being. The study revealed that “individuals with high levels of self-oriented perfectionism tended to experience higher levels of personal dissatisfaction and anxiety, while those with high levels of socially prescribed perfectionism often experienced higher levels of depression and interpersonal difficulties.” (Frost, R. O., Marten, P., Lahart, C., & Rosenblate, R. (1990). The dimensions of perfectionism. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 14(5), 449-468.)
As our society has become infused with social media’s illusive perfection-related content, it is no surprise that the concept of being perfect or appearing perfect dominates the core values of KPI’s in the race for social media followers and post likes. Even if we all understand these images are not real, the filter bias certainly influences our perceptions of how we determine what is superior or inferior.
For example, aging, a natural human process, is influenced and transformed into the context of a world of anti-aging standards, hacks, and practices because of an adopted concept that age defines beauty and what that should look like.
During the recent 2023 Paris Fashion Week “Baywatch” icon Pamela Anderson now 56, stunned everyone by showing up without makeup as a demonstrative act of self-acceptance challenging the status quo of one of the most glamourous fashion events in the world. An online frenzy ensued, and her message on Instagram reflected her clear intention, “ There is beauty in self-acceptance, imperfection, and love.”
While striving for perfection is not a bad thing in and of itself in that this motivates us to be the best versions of ourselves, the psychological effects can wreak havoc in our personal and professional lives if left unchecked.
Here is how you can reframe your mindset by adopting these 5 mindful approaches to overcome perfectionism or perfectionist tendencies.
1. Embracing excellence
Unlike perfectionism, excellence is a mindset that focuses on growth, progress, and learning from mistakes. It involves setting realistic goals and valuing the process rather than being solely outcome-oriented. Embracing excellence allows us to appreciate our efforts and achievements while still striving for improvement.
2. Practicing self-compassion
Perfectionists tend to view any imperfections as failures, causing undue stress and anxiety. Instead, embrace the beauty of imperfections. Recognize that imperfections are part of the human experience and can add character and uniqueness to your work. Practicing self-compassion of our imperfections allows a space that is open and available for creativity, innovation, and personal growth. Remember, perfection is not the goal; it's the growth and improvement that matter.
3. Cultivating a growth mindset
One essential aspect of embracing excellence is cultivating a growth mindset. This mindset acknowledges that abilities and skills can be developed through dedication, practice, and learning from failures. By adopting a growth mindset, we can view challenges as opportunities for growth and setbacks as valuable learning experiences.
Remember, every successful person has faced failures and it is an inevitable party of any journey toward excellence; it is our resilience and ability to learn from them that sets us apart.
4. Setting realistic expectations
To promote excellence, it is crucial to set realistic expectations for ourselves. Perfectionists often strive for unattainable levels of perfection, setting themselves up for disappointment and frustration. Instead of striving for perfection in every task, focus on doing your best and continuously improving. Break down large goals into smaller, manageable steps, allowing yourself to celebrate progress along the way.
Perfection is a subjective illusion of the mind, but true excellence lies in the dedication of consistent effort and growth. By setting realistic goals, you can maintain motivation and avoid the stress associated with unattainable perfection.
5. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is a powerful tool to counteract the negative effects of perfectionism. By practicing mindfulness, you can cultivate awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and the present moment. When perfectionistic tendencies arise, observe them non-judgmentally and let them go.
Focus on the present task at hand, rather than getting caught up in worries about outcomes or potential mistakes.
Mindfulness helps you stay grounded and present, reducing stress and promoting a healthier approach to excellence rather than jumping into the rabbit hole of self-criticism and self-judgment which are avoidant fear-based patterns of thought.
Self-doubt is the killer of creativity.
Perfectionism or perfectionist tendencies can manifest in different ways but generally, you will instantly know by how you feel. The best way is to start a list of how you feel that way you can observe the tasks or activities that are triggering perfectionist tendencies.
Here are five common signs to look out for and what to do when they arise:
1. Fear of failure
Afraid of making mistakes or failing, because it makes you feel inadequate? Are you excessively self-critical?
Try to label your thoughts so you can recognize it and write it down.
2. Difficulty delegating
Are you not delegating tasks to others because you believe that no one else can do the job as well as you can? This can result in feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, or micromanaging others. Ask a co-worker or employee for honest feedback about how they feel working with you.
Do not take the answer personally, just write it down.
3. Setting excessively high standards
Are you setting impossibly high standards for yourself and others? Are you feeling that anything less than perfection is unacceptable? Are you constantly feeling dissatisfied?
Ask yourself what it would mean for you if you didn’t achieve the high standard you set for yourself and write it down.
4. Negative self-image
When you think of yourself or look in the mirror, do you have a critical view of yourself? Do you struggle with self-esteem and tie your self-worth to your achievements? Do you have feelings of constant pressure, self-doubt, and a lack of self-compassion?
Go on LinkedIn to view other people's profiles, notice how you feel about yourself, and write that down.
5. Overemphasize details
Do you tend to focus excessively on minor details and may have difficulty seeing the bigger picture? Are you spending excessive time on tasks, being overly critical, or getting stuck in the planning phase?
Ask yourself why you feel stuck with the task at hand and write it down.
As you develop your list and label your feelings you will soon start to see the areas where you can practice a mindful approach. It's important to remember that while striving for excellence can be positive, excessive perfectionism can be detrimental to your mental health and overall well-being. If you or someone you know exhibits these signs, it may be helpful to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance on managing perfectionistic tendencies.
Juanita Viale, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Juanita Viale guides and coaches motivated entrepreneurs and companies to Consciously boost their brand and effectively share their unique stories.
Based on the French Riviera, she provides personal Conscious marketing, positive leadership, and mindfulness coaching services.
Juanita's "Conscious Boosting" approach is based on a mindful framework of intention, connection, and authenticity. These elements serve as the foundations for delivering messages that resonate and inspire people to identify and engage with You and your Brand.
As a certified Meditation and Mindfulness Teacher, she gently guides You to reconnect with your truest authentic self and help you get aligned with your intentions.
