Written by Dayn Conrad, Land Investment Specialist
I am a 35-year businessman and a 20-year real estate agent and regional director in land investment wealth strategies, with a team of 16 agents today. It is my passion to bring the age-old concept of land banking to kitchen tables across the globe to enhance wealth. Today I manage and am responsible for the sales and training of my team.
The greatest blocks to why 99% of people never get started have little to do with education, being wealthy, or having a successful business. There is one thing that is true of all who have realized a “rags to riches” lifestyle, and keeping it, and that is action. If you are ready to break the bonds of analysis paralysis and filter through your personal weights of a poverty mentality, then read on and start taking your 1st steps to your personal success, no matter what that may be!
1. Choose a (your) path
Do not be afraid to write down your ideas, and dreams, and equally, be open to changing them as you grow. This will help you to focus on what you want to achieve. Over time, with practice and repetition, you will be able to better navigate how you can and will manifest your personal successes. Starting, may be a difficult decision for you, however changing course is not a bad thing, so fear not, as you are not setting this in concrete, but learning how to fly. Remaining stationary and unmovable is simple, choosing your path becomes a growth experience where you are riding the winds of change and mastering the art of enjoying the journey.
Be clear on what you want
This is where you need to define yourself by what you want with clarity, not what others want. Society makes us feel like we must fit in. Our dreams and ambitions then follow in a secondary position. This is why people are not able to take their 1st steps in a progressive direction, because they have not set a destination. Fear of action, and making a mistake is all in your head. Get over it, you will fail at some point, and in some way. This is how you grow, learn, and master your path in life. It may be helpful to write down what you definitely don’t want. Lastly, get the negative options that do not suit you off the list, then you can focus on what you really do want.
Set achievable goals
Lack of patience can be a reason for failure to hit your goals. We live in a false reality that we should have this, we should be that, we should live a certain way. Well, stop “Shoulding on yourself”! Be realistic with your goals and set the steps you put forth as ones you will acquire. This allows you to strategically walk up, like a beautiful, sweeping stairway of mile markers for your goals. The world tells you that you are supposed to catapult yourself to each level of your life like a pole vaulter in an unrealistic video game and this does happen to some, but not as a rule. Stop believing this! This is your plan, you will achieve it with your decisions, implementation and how you calculate your path along with the steps you lay out for yourself. Don’t be afraid to take the 1st step, as it is the hardest.
Be specific: Goals are only dreams if you do not create it with clear steps on how you will achieve it, and by when. Timelines matter, because if you do not include an “achieve by date”, you will constantly push the date out forever.
Be realistic: Be honest with the amount of time you are able to apply to this process, and don’t set goals that you can’t possibly reach. This is where most set themselves up to fail, as they set goals, and make decisions based on where they see others at, and think they should be there too. You are creating your future, so don’t limit yourself to what you assume it should be today. You must be based in reality, so be sure you are living it. The more realistic you are, the easier it will be to make smart decisions to hit your goals.
Be honest: Fantasy can make us do some very reckless things. Honesty with yourself about who you are, what you know, what you need to know/learn and who is supporting you in your sphere. You do this without the need for personal gain. More importantly, your sphere may sometimes be encouraging you to stay the same because of their fear to change and inability to grow. Growth is painful at times. Looking at ourselves and those around us will hurt. It’s through honest reflection that you will notice your clarity on what you need to do, and who you need to be and are becoming!
2. Growth should be a little scary, not terrifying
No one said life would be easy, and trust me, it is not about money, it is all about your mindset and passion. There are people all around you with more than they could ever spend, yet they fail to achieve happiness, while those who have very little, struggle to get by and have broken into the happiness barrier. Let’s be clear; there is a balance point for gaining both realities. Wealth can be a golden anchor if you are not careful! Stay humble, and learn to recognize the good in everything. Rarely have I seen success/wealth acquired with pure luck and then retained for any length of time. Luck has little to do with going from rags to riches, or unhappy to happy. Chance, or heritage have little to do with it either. Remember, success is not just about money. People who grew up with little have traditionally had the passion to do what is needed to achieve their goals, as long as they beat the poverty mentality syndrome. While the person that had the world handed to them at birth often has abilities to manage their monies, but hit the wall on the happiness button. With a well planned strategy, one has nowhere to go but up. Fear is present in both of these worlds. You cannot be terrified of falling down, falling behind, or not being able to keep what you have been given. Be fearless! This is your life, and remember, you will fall down. Get back up yourself, as you must. Your life depends on your will and passion. If you are lucky enough to have supportive people in your life, they will be there to help. Dust yourself off, and laugh, as your superpower develops and you will be stronger the next time you get knocked down.!
Master your unknown
Education is your greatest gift, however do not get stuck in what you think you know! This will make you unmovable on your ideas, dreams, and ambitions. Be willing to delve into things that challenge you, things you don’t know.! Do you need to learn a new language, take a class or classes to learn a new skill, move to a new location, get out of toxic relationships, or have an honest reality check on somethings about yourself that you know you can do better at to achieve your goals? Do them! It is not what is outside ourselves that creates the golden anchors in our lives that prevent us from moving forward. It is the things inside ourselves, and the things we internalize and believe that make our self worth based on negativity from others. Don’t tolerate this. You will never change your external life for the better, if your internal life is not dealt with 1st and in chaos.
Spot your dream killers
Self love is one of the hardest things to deal with, and if you do not come to terms with it. You will eternally make decisions that will keep you in that place you think is all you deserve, or that others tell you is all you deserve. The most glorious success stories are of people that came from little means and achieved great things. Usually they stay humble, and maintain empathy for the struggles of others. Like you, I had to go through this process, and the more I learned about myself, the more I discovered the dream killers I had painfully and knowingly surrounded myself with. No need to be cruel, as most of the time they are functioning off of their own internal dialogue. If they are holding you back, it may be time to move on.
Trust your process, this is not a race
Life unfortunately does not give us a stopwatch; it doesn't tell us when to walk, run, sprint, stop, spin in circles, or where we are going. Remember to follow your plan. Sometimes numbers take priority and other times you must put on your blinders and not watch the numbers. Your passion is your fire that will bring you through. Patience may allude you the most. Many times it is stopping to process your steps and modifying your course. Taking a few steps backwards to better strategize can be a brilliant choice. Some may see this as failure, it is not. One of my favorite sayings is, “We only fail when we quit trying”, and it will get you through a lot of negative personal talk, and allow you to stay true to your course, keep moving forward, and if needed, taking a few steps backwards to avoid a greater fall.
3. Giving is the path to receiving
Upon reading this, you either said, “what?”, or “yes!”. Again, humanity has a long history of praising those who have much, and got there by being cruel, greedy, selfish and ruthless. This is not mandatory to being successful, or wealthy. You may be pleasantly surprised to discover a world where kindness, generosity, and being supportive of others will get you ahead far faster, and create a much more positive life. It can be filled with like minded people who have your back, because you have theirs. To live to such a standard is not hard and it does take personal training. Surprise! The idea that helping another person find their success helps create yours. Yet, there is little on this taught by our society today. The positive part about giving is the inherent “laws of reciprocity” that is invoked with helping others. Simply put, they help you! Once you hit this level of integrity it is a kind of freedom that is transformative. There is a great book that solidified this for me, and it is “The Go Giver” by Bob Burg and John David Mann. This showed me that I am not alone in thinking that the art of giving is the best path to receiving.
Build your circle of like minded people
It’s all about the networking! Find individuals, small business owners, executives, and leaders in all areas that seek to help others, just as much as they are seeking you to help build theirs. There is no threat to your success, or theirs if you are all working towards each other’s benefit, and success. You will find that these people are all around you, and you just never really looked before. A key to finding them is to never judge people by how they look, dress, what they drive, or where they live. Take note of the small business owner who remembered your name, what you purchased or ordered the last time you visited, asked about your friends or family who were with you and took the extra steps needed to make you happy. When you connect with these people, they are the ones who have a similar mindset and likely a circle of people that you seek to know and interact with. If you are kind, in turn, and supportive of them, they will go out of their way to find and recommend the people you seek. The mistake most make is to seek this kind of support from those who appear to have it all. They are flashy, loud, and full of self-praising, and they seem to know all the right people. Sometimes take a step back and ask yourself, “but do they?”. Remember you are seeking to create your best life, and your personal success, and this may not be anything you envisioned in your youth, or were told you wanted. There are a lot of successful and wealthy people in the world. Money doesn't equal happiness anymore than being self serving makes you a better business person. Find people who bring you joy, and want to bring joy to you. This is a circle that will do everything it can to never fail you, and that is because you would never fail them. Don’t lose track of having fun while you succeed and this means breaking bread with your friends and business partners.
Limit your social media to positive posts
It is so simple to get caught up in the rants and posts that create negativity from others. Do not bite the bait! Social media can turn your image into a banner flag for the better or the worst. If you are not able to do this, then it is best to just stay off of it and find other ways to interact with people. Remember that negativity and rants will work more like a people repellant. You will be missing out on connecting with those who may be your best connection based on a misunderstanding of a few posted words. Positive and inspiring posts that encourage others to keep going, not to give up, tidbits of business wisdom, and thought-provoking ideas will open doors you can’t open otherwise. Equally, don’t be a pushover. Equally, standing your ground is also important, and not allowing the negativity of others to share things that are harmful, or negative. Never lower yourself to being rude, condescending, or passive aggressive, and the doom fairies of the world seek to bring this out of you.
4. Your greatest enemy is yourself
Go look in a mirror and tell yourself what you see! Sadly we are our worst judge and critics and the sooner you acknowledge this the better. We start life thinking we need others to care and approve of us and we’re taught that only the good boys and girls get the gold star. Our “now programming” is to overthink our actions and hold ourselves accountable to the ideas of others. We need to outgrow what we were told we could do, and what our limits are, and not try because we might fail, and on and on and on. This is that little voice in your head telling you to not try and to give up before you have even started. Many want to be the 1st to tell you after you fail: “I told you not to do that, as you were going to fail.” Today is the day to break that cycle, and make plans for the person you want to be and always knew you could be.
Analysis paralysis
Do you tend to overthink everything? Do you end up taking no action at all even though you have experts in that area? There are people with years of personal experience, knowledge, and leadership in their fields out there to help you. The general sentiment is: you feel you must become an expert as well before you can even start or accept their advice. If this sounds familiar, you likely suffer from analysis paralysis. You can’t become an expert at something if you never start to learn at the beginning. You need to learn from trial and error. Remember, you only fail when you quit trying! You also can never start on your path of personal success, if you think you have to master the knowledge it took others a lifetime to achieve. The wheel has already been invented! Let go! Start! There is no shame in being a beginner at something and trusting others to help guide you. Use their wheels and if you do the steps you read in the prior parts of this article, then you are having a big “Ahh Haaa!” moment right now. Only you can fix it. There is not a library of data on the planet that you can read 1st. There is no reaction without action, so take the leap!
Poverty mentality
Many suffer from this and it has nothing to do coming from simple means, nor does it have anything to do with being born to wealth. Poverty mentality is a state of mind that your worth is less than it is and sadly locked into your perspective of how you think others see you. This can be crippling and it is based on no reality other than that of what you wish to believe. It is safe for some, as there are no changes or challenges to their life to exist in this space. It is what you already know and It is where you are right now. When you tell yourself, “I will fail and should just give up on my dreams and settle”. No person who created a life-changing invention or business person who created that unicorn of a business gave up. Sure they hit walls, struggled, fought tooth and nail, felt like they were on their last dollar, feared that they would never get it right, but they didn’t give up. They always got back up, no matter the personal pain or obstacles and eventually manifested their ideas and dreams. Remember, “Never surrender and never give up”. If they didn’t, they at least lived 100% at a standard that made their life fulfilled and that is a level of wealth you can not replace with money. The path ahead is maybe a little dark, as you have not given it light yet. Start and take smart steps forward, not backward. Allow people around you to give you guidance, and trust yourself to never give up on yourself. This is your life and you need to ask yourself if you want to live it filled with joy. We all get some battle scars along the way, are you going to live life filled with regrets and not powerful memories or stories to tell about the adventure? I choose adventure!
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5. Integrity is earned, as it is your lifestyle
Waking up every day in a wonderful mood and ready for the world’s challenges is not a reality. There are going to be tough days and the sooner you submit to the good and the bad you will experience the better you will be able to navigate the twists and turns. We all have those moments, and some of us, including myself, are not morning people as a rule until I have my coffee and personal time to get my engines charged up. Whatever your morning protocol is, you have to do your mantra to get your best self on! You have to prepare your integrity for the day! Whether you have small groups or large groups to meet with, do your rituals to get yourself together for the day. Integrity matters! You can: “fake it, ‘til you make it”, but remember to admonish yourself and be honest with yourself, be real with those around you and let them know your limits, as well as your strengths. Are you the high energy person that historically has been a bit of a bulldozer in social situations? Well, maybe re-read the prior details of this article, and there may be some self-discovery regarding your mastery of your unknown. Are you the wallflower and have a hard time connecting with others or moving forward in many ways? You may need to re-read the prior details of this article as well. Remember, you are a package deal. You have to work on your “being”, which composes your soul. How you walk into a room, exist in a room, leave a room and are seen outside of that room are what is your integrity. That is the “outside” appearance, and you will improve it by nourishing your inside appearance. People will either resonate with you, or not, but don’t be afraid to be yourself, just not at the expense of yourself or others.
Confidence vs arrogance
How do you carry yourself? What kind of person do you want to be? It is surprisingly easy to become either a person of confidence or one of arrogance, as it comes down to that one question, and your sense of worth. Many confuse the image of appearing confident as a need to behave with arrogance. What is there to be arrogant about that belittles others in order to validate your sense of confidence? If you want others to acknowledge your knowledge, efforts, and experiences, let them learn it for themselves! Which is more impressive, the person who demanded they be treated in a superior manner because of their entitlement issues or meeting someone who is kind, courteous, and always there to help. We sometimes think the entitled individual has it all. They demand obedience, where the genuine person uplifts others selflessly. It all comes down to the life you want to create, and that includes the world you create and how you impact it.
Be of service
Service, and being of help to others, at no benefit to yourself is probably one of the greatest gifts you can give to others, but equally to yourself. Don’t look at it as time lost, but experience gained, as this will help you to stay humble and realize that there are people still out there just like you who are struggling just as you once did, or maybe you still are. Lifting each other up fills your heart in a way that can’t be taught, and it has no place in a club membership or religious institutions. Those are just buildings. Service is one on one contact with another in need, exchanging smiles, acknowledging another’s worth, and giving them hope that it will get better. The next time you faceplant on your own personal path, and someone was there to be of service to you, you will understand the importance of this. True leaders are not afraid to help others up to the top to find their better selves. This is what coming from a perspective of abundance, rather than scarcity looks like.
Never fear to back-up, or start over
So, let’s go back to a concept, but it needs to be repeated. Don’t be afraid to know when to stop and reassess the next steps of your path to success. Taking steps backward is okay. This gives you a better perspective of your options ahead. Maybe realizing you are on the wrong path all together will help you consider alternatives on starting over. There is no shame in any of these options. The whole point is arriving at your personal success goals and never settling for what does not make you happy as your true end goal.
Today is your day
We have covered a great deal, and I am sure you are wondering where to start even after reading this article. Growth and action can be scary. Taking a deep dive on yourself can be daunting, however it gets easier. The truth is, you will never stop, and the more you grow, the more you will see the need to change for the better. You can reach that next goal. Be fearless! This is your life and you owe it to yourself to live it to its fullest.
Read more from Dayn Conrad
Dayn Conrad, Land Investment Specialist
As a Southern California native, I grew up among the orange groves, strawberry fields, and watched them disappear. Today, I teach the strategy of buying land, holding it, then selling to developers at top dollar with significant returns on investment over time. My company is Velur Real Estate Services and we focus on science and research to mitigate the risks, and bring the premier land strategies that are in the path of expansion and development directly to you. Land is, and has historically been a solid real estate investment, and with correct research behind it, it becomes a legacy changer for those who are middle class and high net worth investors.
