Written by: Cheryl Thacker, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Whether you’re a professional coach, a leader in your field, or just cultivating the best relationships you can, active listening skills are one of the most important tools in your arsenal. There are tons of barriers to open, effective communication in our modern world. Active listening helps cut through the noise, making it easier to form genuine connections.
What is Active Listening?
Active listening encapsulates a range of behaviors designed to encourage open, effective communication. By showing active listening skills, you’ll be able to focus on what your client is saying – and what they aren’t saying. This will help you fully understand the breadth of what they’re conveying, both in their words and in their silences, pauses, and blind spots.
Active listening exists in the context of your relationship with the client. It supports the relationship and helps cultivate it over time, supporting your goals to encourage client self-expression as you meet them where they’re at and help them get where they want to go.
The Key Elements of Active Listening
Presence
No client wants to feel like you don’t have room in your day to talk to them. Make room in your mind, physical space, and in your agenda. Before your meeting, set aside time to clear your mind and remove any distractions that might pull you away from giving your client your full attention.
Be intentional about the environment you create. Remember, you’re not aiming to get a specific outcome, reaction, or expectation out of your client. You’re creating a space where they can feel open and comfortable expressing whatever they need to communicate to you.
Body Language
Show your intent through your body language. This includes:
Sitting forward-facing the client with your feet pointing toward them
Leaning slightly toward the client to show engagement
Displaying open body posture with relaxed arms
Smiling and nodding frequently
Mirror the client’s body language. This conveys a sense of togetherness and partnership, breaks down any barriers to communication, and helps speed up your relationship progression.
Questioning
It’s tempting to jump in and offer solutions and answers to your clients’ questions, but this can be counter-productive to demonstrating active listening. Instead, start by asking qualifying questions.
Clarifying questions can help you be sure you understand what the client is saying, clear up any misunderstandings early on, and allow for greater insight. Open-ended questions help keep the client talking, offering chances for them to express themselves fully.
Reflecting
Reflect your clients’ energy back to them without judgment. Listen for unique phrases or words they use often and use that language in your communications.
By reflecting the clients’ words and energy back to them consistently and concisely, you’ve offered a chance for the client to check what they’ve said while listening to your recap. Sometimes, the biggest breakthroughs simply lie in the client hearing their own words repeated back to them. This offers a different perspective on the client’s thoughts and emotions that they may have never reached on their own. The beautiful part about this is you can lead them to that insight without saying anything new or offering any solutions, but by simply supporting them.
Discerning
Discernment comes from approaching interactions from a detached standpoint, not focused on a specific outcome or goal. This allows space in the conversation for learning, growth, and for the interaction to take whatever direction it needs to take.
Listen for the gaps in the conversation. What isn’t being said? Then ask about it in a non-judgmental, open-ended way. Listen for key indicators of the client’s mindset:
What are their fears, wants, and needs?
What are they revealing about their core values?
What commitments do they have, and how do they feel about those commitments?
Do you notice any incongruencies or conflicting narratives in what the client is saying?
What strengths and weaknesses can you identify in the client based on what they’re saying?
By approaching interactions from a perspective of discernment, rather than judgment, you leave yourself open to finding new solutions and pathways that otherwise would have stayed closed.
Keep in mind that active listening looks different in every interaction – that’s part of the beauty of it. When you approach every conversation from a place of openness and engagement, you’ll find ways to connect with your clients in the ways they need most.
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Cheryl Thacker, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazin Coach Cheryl Thacker, PCC, BCC is the CEO and Founder of Successful Coaches Enterprise, creator of the Coaching Biz Accelerator program and host of the Master Your Coaching Biz Podcast. She has helped hundreds of coaches create the freedom they crave in life by building successful sustainable businesses. Cheryl believes that every coach has a unique gift to present to the world and it is her mission to help them gain the confidence, skills, and knowledge needed to master their business.
