Written by: Christine Luken, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Divorce is a stressful time, not just emotionally but also financially. You and your spouse are dividing your assets and multiplying expenses when you split into two households. It’s common to feel like a deer caught in the headlights, especially if your spouse handled the money in your household. Here are five essentials to financially survive divorce.
5 Essentials to Financially Survive Divorce
1. Gather all your financial information.
To take back control of your money, you must determine where you stand right now. Get copies of your bank statements, tax returns, credit card statements, and investment balances. You’ll also want to pull your credit report to make sure there aren’t any surprises. The first step in taking control is gaining awareness of the current state of your money. (Download the handy Divorce & Money Checklist to make this easier!)
2. Create an interim spending plan.
Yes, we’re talking about the dreaded b-word, “budget.” Fortunately, a budget doesn’t have to be rigid or restrictive. That’s why I call it a “spending plan” instead. You’re simply planning out your spending before the month begins. Without a plan, it’s going to be much hard to even know if you’re financially surviving divorce!
Take the information you gathered in step one to determine how much you’ve been spending in the major categories like housing, transportation, food, entertainment, personal care, home improvement, and utilities. I recommend using a personal finance app like Mint to track your monthly expenses, debt levels, and net worth.
3. Find a positive release for your negative emotions.
Divorce is an emotional roller coaster! If you bottle up your emotions, they might spring out like an evil jack-in-the-box at inconvenient times. How do you make wise financial decisions when your emotions are high? You don’t! It’s important to have a “pressure valve” you can release to let strong emotions run their course.
Use constructive outlets for your emotions to let them run their course. Physical exercise like running, kickboxing, or HIIT training works wonders for dissipating anger. Talking with a trusted friend or counselor helps you untangle your feelings and get an objective perspective on your situation. If you feel like crying, give yourself permission to cry and get it out.
Our emotions are always with us, so it’s not possible to make a completely emotionless decision about money. The trick is to give strong emotions an outlet, and wait until our emotional intensity is “quiet.” This allows you to hear both the voice of reason and your emotions, to make money decisions now that you’ll be happy with later. It’s all about surviving divorce financially in the long run!
4. Don’t scrimp on self-care!
It’s easy to make the knee-jerk reaction of cutting your spending to the bone out of fear. Unless you truly don’t have enough to pay the bills, don’t be stingy with yourself! Make room in your spending plan for things that make you feel relaxed and happy.
I encourage my divorcing clients to splurge a little on a massage, spa treatment, round of golf, or another fun hobby. When you prioritize self-care, you’re in a better place physically and emotionally to make better decisions as you move through your divorce.
5. Hire divorce experts for guidance.
Hiring a divorce attorney or mediator is likely on your To-Do list already. However, you probably haven’t considered some of the other divorce pros you might need:
Financial planner (for investments)
CPA or tax accountant (for taxes)
Financial coach (for budgeting, debt reduction, and money mindset)
Therapist or counselor (for positive mental health)
Real estate professional (for selling the marital home)
These professionals need to have experience with divorcing clients. Be sure to ask about their qualifications and check references.
Look for a financial advisor who has the CDFA® certification (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®). Other pros (like me) have the CDS™ designation (Certified Divorce Specialist™) through the National Association of Divorce Professionals. These pros received extensive training to serve the specific needs of divorcing clients. They’re also required to receive ongoing education to maintain their certifications.
Please don’t just choose the least expensive option when hiring divorce professionals! A well-trained pro will help you avoid costly mistakes that you might regret later.
By taking action on these five essentials to financially survive divorce, you’ll be setting yourself up for a bright and thriving future! If you want a detailed roadmap to navigate your money during this emotional time, grab a copy of my book, Financial Dignity® After Divorce.
Christine Luken, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ready for money to support your happiness, rather than stress you out? Then you need Christine Luken, Financial Dignity® Coach in your corner! As the Founder of the Financial Dignity® Movement, Christine has coached hundreds of high-earning professionals, business owners, and divorcing women to pay off staggering amounts of debt and massively increase their net worth. The author of several books, including Money is Emotional and Financial Dignity® After Divorce, Christine blends wise money management with emotional intelligence.
