Penelope Ling is an award-winning solution-focused hypnotherapist specializing in phobias. She founded Penelope Ling Hypnotherapy and is the author of the book Driving me crazy – overcome the fear of driving. She regularly contributes to magazines like Happiful and guests on podcasts and BBC local radio.
Have you just received a promotion and are now responsible for attending management meetings? Or is career faltering because you fear having to present to customers? Whether you’re a new manager or trying to climb the corporate ladder, in this guide, we’ll explore 5 key strategies for overcoming fear. Let’s embark on a journey to unlock your full potential.
1. Change your reaction to public speaking
Fear of public speaking doesn’t mean that you are about to address an audience like a TED talk. It can be just addressing other colleagues in a meeting. The biggest fear is often judgement. None of us like being judged, but knowing what someone else is thinking is almost impossible, though body language and someone yawning may give you clues. The fear is all eyes on you. You have become prey.
Learn to relax
There are two aspects of public speaking which get many people: a) your mind goes blank. b) you can’t talk because your body is in fight or flight. The best way to kick in the rest and digest mode is to learn to breathe properly. 7/11 breathing helps trigger the parasympathetic nervous system. You inhale for the count of 7 and exhale for the count of 11, right into your belly. If your belly stays still and your chest rises, that’s no good. Practice regularly and it becomes second nature.
Be present
Countless times I have asked public speaking clients if they have ever tried mindfulness and most have learnt exercises such as the body scan, but they tell me they forget about it when anxious. I’m not surprised. The point is to keep your stress low most of the time, so you don’t spiral down into panic. Some mindfulness exercises benefit public speaking are:
Mindful walking: As you walk around your company building, pay attention to how your feet feel as you walk. Breathe through your nose and in your mind count your steps to 10, then go back to 1 and so on. This helps you stop worrying about the talk.
FOFBOS: Feet on floor, bottom on seat. Focus on what your feet are feeling, then as soon as any thought comes in, switch your attention to your bottom. Every time a thought pops in, shift attention from one to the other. This helps slow down the thinking process and calms everything down.
Counting, naming: Start by naming 5 objects you can see. Take 2 deep breaths. Then 5 things you can hear, 2 deep breaths. 5 things that you can feel, 2 deep breaths. Then 4, 3, 2 and 1. Should take about 5 minutes. The naming takes your mind off the task you’re about to perform and the deep breaths to calm you.
Pebble in your pocket: Years ago, when taking exams, I used to keep a soft furry toy in my pocket for luck. I found it very comforting. Later I found a smooth pebble had the same effect. Eventually, I found out it was common.
Know your location: When you know the location where you have to speak, it can help with visualisation and finding things to focus on. I use clocks, doors, artworks, etc. By using something to focus on it can help reduce anxiety getting the better of you. Could be a glass of water to hand or your bullet point notes. One client claps his hands and rubs them together to kick off the presentation.
By staying present and in the moment, your fight and flight mode will stay suppressed. Leaving you to talk to clients calmly.
2. Preparation is key
Make sure you fully prepare for public speaking. If it’s a sales talk, make sure you write every question you’re likely to be asked. If it’s a lecture about a subject, make sure you have enough slides and photographs to accompany it.
Rehearse
I record all my preparation for public speaking on my laptop, just as I would in a meeting. Having a list of bullet points and if it’s a presentation with slides, I talk through each one. At the end, I play it back and make notes and cuts. Then repeat.
Don’t get hung up on being recorded
Some dislike being recorded, whether on video or audio, but it’s necessary to overcome this if you want to excel at public speaking. It’s not like that you will have this posted on YouTube. The recording is to assess if your talk is correct. A great opportunity to see what needs moving around. What needs cutting and adding in something you may have forgotten. Remember that body language gives away your state of mind. Learn to build confidence and override the nerves.
Reframe your anxiety
Reframing the way you think about public speaking can be helpful. Rather than fixating on failures, envision a clear vision of your desired outcome. All the fear words change to positive ones like opportunity, getting your name out there, more sales, status, money, whatever the public speaking is trying to achieve.
3. What’s the worst thing that could happen during public speaking?
When I ask this question to clients who fear public speaking, the answer is usually I don’t know. You’re uncertain because the worst hasn’t occurred and probably won’t. If public speaking is part of your job and you got it on the pretence that you have lots of experience, then yes, that could be an outcome to avoid. Overall, it will end in embarrassment, and that often feels worse than it often is.
I always blush through public speaking
Practising mindfulness or using hypnotherapy MP3s can reduce blushing, which is a natural expression of stress and embarrassment. One client I once worked with to reduce blushing was a lawyer who blushed every court appearance. He was deeply embarrassed by flushing red as he thought that the defence, judge and jury would think he was lying. Using mindfulness and visualisations to reframing court cases helped him enormously.
People will think I’m stupid
These thoughts around public speaking often go back to having to read out loud at school. The sheer embarrassment of misreading a paragraph and having an entire class laughing at you, or being scolded by the teacher, can blight a person for life. Your subconscious doesn’t understand time has passed and adult brains will be more sympathetic to your cause
I throw up before each performance
Being sick before public performance is part of the fight and flight response. Your body does not want to be digesting food, so it expels it. One singer I worked with refused to eat the whole day before the performance and she would be ill for days afterwards. Hypnotherapy helped her reduce her anxiety, and she learnt to visualise each performance in a quiet, relaxed state to retrain herself not to be sick. It worked well as she later trained as an actress.
4. Conquer the stage: Master public speaking anxiety
Before embarking on overcoming your fear of public speaking, make sure that you don’t have a lot of other stressful things going on in your life. We compartmentalise anxiety, but in truth, it’s as if we put it in a giant bucket. If your family life is stressful, or you’re having other problems at work, then overcoming this one fear might take its time. The key is to lower stress levels across all areas of your life.
Understand what’s happening in your brain
The kind of fear we experience with public speaking is very primal. Our Hippocampus and Amygdala work together to look out for possible danger then to avoid those threats. Experience of a negative event is implanted in the memory. Next time it’s mentioned, we relive the trauma. The negative thoughts you receive are to stop you. By learning these thoughts are irrational and taking control of those thoughts, you can tone down the triggering.
Transform anxiety into dynamic energy
I ask my clients if they enjoy theme parks. it’s about 50-50 split. The reason, though, is adrenaline. It’s the same chemical causing the anxious or the fun feelings. Same chemical different spin on it. It’s the same for performing sports in front of an audience. Use the adrenaline to help raise the energy of your performance. Helping it from being dull to being exciting. Move around the stage to keep it interesting.
Small steps lead to bigger wins
If you’re trying to go for a job which is going to plunge you straight into sales meetings or presentations, start getting used to talking in front of others before you have to. Getting used to situations gradually helps enormously to develop our confidence. Look for opportunities outside of work, such as hobbies that you share with others. Perhaps arrange a talk with people you know and are supportive before tackling a sales launch.
Celebrate your success: Building on each victory
Humans often fixate on their failures. When you achieve something good, it’s often dismissed as a fluke. Well, stop that now. Every time you have presented well, give yourself a pat on the back – literally. It reinforces the confidence and stops the worry part from being over dominant.
5. Invest in improvement
To excel and progress in your career, certain investments may be required. Some relate to your thoughts and emotions, while others involve practice.
Enrol in courses
If you prefer a short-term course, then there are companies out there which teach public speaking over a course of a week. You learn how to present along with other professional people who are struggling. You perform a presentation to all by week’s end.
Attend networking events
Love them or hate them. Networking events are outstanding for many reasons. First, it’s regular, so it forces you regularly to get used to speaking in front of others. See it as an opportunity to fully explain to someone how your services or products help others. This will clarify the talks you perform. Expand your network to reach potential customers. It gives you a chance to assess who is a talented public speaker and what are they doing which you’re not. Plus, it’s nowhere near as expensive as a week’s course.
Seek help through mentorship, coaching or therapy
Find mentors, coaches or therapists who can provide guidance, support, and insights based on their own experiences and expertise. Look for individuals who specialise in helping individuals with public speaking anxiety. Take part in mentorship programs if your company provides them. Some organisations offer funding to progress their employees’ abilities or pay for talking therapies, which can help. Consider hiring a business coach or consultant who can provide tailored support to your specific public speaking challenges and goals.
Hypnotherapy can help with public speaking
Hypnosis isn’t all about weight loss and stop smoking. It’s a fantastic way of improving how you feel about public speaking. Instead of dreading it, learn to embrace it as a positive career progression. Your subconscious can understand fear’s link to the past, without predicting the future. It can help stop habits and address the nerves. Here’s a typical response to working with me. “I had 6 sessions with Penny to help me address workplace anxiety, particularly when presenting. Penny uses several techniques and tools to address ‘the problem’ I now feel more relaxed, less stressed and more confident in my capabilities. I would not hesitate to recommend Penny!”
Penelope Ling, Solution-focused Hypnotherapist
Penelope Ling BA is a solution-focused hypnotherapist and author. She became a specialist in phobias having many as a child and a fear of driving as an adult, which left her unable to drive for 13 years. Having conquered those fears during training, the decision to help others overcome their limitations was simple. She helps her clients overcome their fears, and phobias achieving a more fulfilling anxiety-free life.
