Maren Kristensen specialises in women’s mental health and is the founder of Therapy With Maren. In her signature therapy program, flourish, she helps women of all ages and backgrounds access joy, success & fulfillment in all parts of life.
We all have days when getting out of bed feels slow, heavy, and resistance-filled. When the weight of the world presses down, and the smallest of tasks feel monumental. But if you are struggling with depression, these aren’t just occasional bad days. They have become a normal that seems impossible to step out of. Depression is insidious, often weaving itself into daily routines over time, and reinforces the very patterns that keep you stuck.
If you’ve ever found yourself trapped in an exhausting cycle of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness, you’re not alone. And I want you to know that you are not doomed to a life of feeling low, so let’s look at how you can break free.
Five common depression traps and how to break free
1. The isolation spiral
Depression whispers that no one really wants to be around you. And so, you cancel plans. You stop reaching out. You sit alone, scrolling, distracting, convincing yourself it’s easier this way. That you need a break. But isolation feeds depression, making it harder to reconnect to life around you - even when you know it will help.
Break Free: Challenge yourself to take small social steps, it will feel a bit uncomfortable and that's okay. A text. A short coffee meet-up. A five-minute chat with a neighbor. Looking up at people when you walk down the street. Connection, no matter how small, creates tiny cracks in the loneliness that depression thrives on.
2. The "I’ll feel better when…" trap
The belief that happiness exists in some distant future – when you finally lose weight, land that dream job, find a partner – keeps joy out of reach and limits you in living in the moment, here and now. Depression convinces you that you are the problem, and that something outside of you needs to change before you can deserve happiness.
Break Free: Shift your focus from when to now. What is one small thing that brings you comfort today? A favorite song, a cozy sweater, a deep breath of fresh air. Can you create one small moment that puts a genuine smile on your face? Finding small moments of peace and joy in the present disrupts the illusion that happiness is always just beyond your grasp.
3. The numbness loop
When everything feels heavy, it’s tempting to shut down. Hours lost to mindless scrolling, binge-watching, or anything that numbs the discomfort. While temporary relief is understandable, over time, avoidance reinforces a sense of detachment from life.
Break Free: Start small. Move your body. Step outside. Engage your senses, let your hands feel warm water, your ears pick up the sound of music, your breath reminds you that you are here. Even the smallest act of engagement can disrupt the cycle of disconnection.
If you are deep in the depression spiral, this is what I would address first.
4. The inner critic’s grip
Depression fuels a relentless inner dialogue of self-blame and inadequacy. You’re not doing enough. You should be better by now. Everyone else is handling life just fine. These thoughts feel real, but they are not truths.
Break Free: Notice when your inner critic takes the stage. Ask yourself, Would I say this to a close friend? If not, challenge the thought. What is a positive belief that could be just as true? Speak to yourself with the same gentleness you would offer to someone you love.
5. The "Nothing will ever change" trap
One of depression’s greatest tricks is convincing you that this feeling is forever. No matter what you do, nothing will get better. It’s paralyzing, making any effort feel futile.
Break Free: Remind yourself that feelings are not facts. Depression makes it hard to remember that change is always possible, even when it’s slow. Seek small wins – a little more sunlight, a tiny shift in routine, reaching out for help. Progress isn’t linear, but every small act of care is a step toward healing. Remember that small steps will take you far.
Feeling good again is possible
If you recognize yourself in these patterns, please know this: You are not failing. You are not weak. Depression is real, but it is not you. Healing is not about fixing yourself, it’s about finding your way back to yourself. One step, one moment at a time.
One thing I hope you take with you from reading this is to start by moving your body. Close your screens. Go for a short walk around your house. Sway your body listening to music. Tidy up your space. Ask yourself, what is the simplest way I could get up and move right now?
Commit yourself to daily movement for a month and note the difference.
If you are struggling with depression, reaching out for help is invaluable and needs more support than an article. Please take inspiration, but compliment it with professional help.
Read more from Maren Kristensen
Maren Kristensen, Psychologist and Mindfulness Coach
Maren Kristensen is an up-and-coming leader in the women’s mental health industry. Her education, clinical experience, and personal mental health journey give her an in-depth understanding of the mind-body connection and how it impacts overall well-being. As the founder of Therapy With Maren, she guides women all over the world to move from self-doubt to self-love so they can live the life they actually want. With a strong belief that caring for your mental health should be a manageable, practical, and celebrated part of life, her holistic therapy program, flourish, is paving a new path of mental health support for women.
