Written by: Victoria Baylor, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
For the last 2 years, life was a whole new definition of "overwhelming" for many. The current demands of life and work, sprinkled with the ongoing unpredictability of a pandemic, have kicked our work into high gear. Many are working more and resting less. Many have found their roles, responsibilities, and such have intensified due to circumstances of no fault of their own. In my city of Savannah, GA, due to bus driver shortages, many parents have added the responsibility of transporting their kids to school. I am one of them. No one wants more tasks added to their schedule. And this is just one example of how people are being stretched.
To neutralize the overwhelmingness of life's demands, it's definitely necessary to engage in consistent self-care. It's Paramount! Although many argue that's easier said than done, waiting for the next calendar holiday to take a break is extremely unrealistic. Deep down inside, we all wish they had more time for themselves but don't know how to get it. So how can busy individuals get the benefits of more rest and self-care without hurting their productivity? I want to share some helpful strategies that you can learn and apply to your life 365 days a year to create space for self-care. The goal is to help you gain pockets of peace and rest in the midst of what can sometimes be a chaotic life. To recognize your labor contribution and to create safe boundaries from burnout. So how does one accomplish that? We first have to come to terms with a harsh truth. To enjoy self-care, you must first create space for it and remove your blocks.
Here are 4 strategies to help you do just that.
1. Eat only what you can fit on your plate
You would never go to a restaurant with a group of friends and eat your entire meal, and everyone else's at the table too? You'd have to have some special kind of tapeworm to pull that off. Well then, explain to me how some women have a full load of responsibilities but still try to take on loads of others as well. They literally have "no room on their own plate" but are steadily trying to pile others' desires, responsibilities and expectations onto it. It's unrealistic! Set boundaries from the start that will limit what you commit or say yes to. When your plate is full, and you are asked for help, simply reply, "I would love to help you, but my schedule is already full, and I don't have the capacity to take on more." It's as simple as that.
2. Give yourself Credit and Take Credit
Part of the reason people "pile their plates" and don't have time for rest or self-care is that they don't give themselves credit for the work they do. They constantly think they're not doing enough, which leads to doing too much. We are likely the only ones on the planet that do an overwhelming amount of work but still feel like we aren't doing enough. Whether you just love the work you do, or you're doing it out of responsibility and necessity, you still deserve the credit for ALL of it.
And just because things are expected of us doesn't mean they don't count as work. For example, data shows that outside of their business or career, women do, on average, 3 times more domesticated work (housework, etc.) than most men. And don't mention the type of work it takes to maintain relationships, rear children, navigate conflict, manage people, etc. Are you properly tallying ALL the work you do? Make a list of all the actual work you do on a weekly basis – paid and unpaid. How much of your work have you not been taking credit for? How much of that work do you need to let go of because it's more than you can handle?
3. Ditch the Guilt
So many people push past their energy and time limits due to guilt. Guilt can be so sneaky. It really comes disguised as limiting beliefs that promote the idea that you have to be perfect, never let anyone down, or "can get it all done." All such BOLD FACED LIES!!! The last time I checked, you are human, and being human comes with limitations. You shouldn't feel guilty because of them. You can't be all things to all people. I don't know who this is for, but look, you can't always be other people's solutions. They have to find a way to solve their problems and think for themselves. Remember, your obligation is to take care of what you can fit on your own plate.
4. Refill your energy account
Work is fueled by energy, and with so much of it going out than coming in, it's no wonder you are so tired. You are spending more energy than they make. You have to learn to recharge your energy. Some of the tasks you do that you like or are good at energize you, while there are other obligations you may be less fond of that drain your energy. Be sure that the majority of the tasks you do re-energize you. Outsource or get others to do the tasks that drain your energy.
This will help you keep your energy account full. Ironically, this is where self-care comes in. Self-Care is an energizer and helps to replenish your energy account when it is low. This is exactly why regularly scheduled self-care keeps you from feeling overwhelmed.
I hope these tips help you free up space for self-care that not only honors the marvelous work you do but give you the rest and relaxation you need.
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Victoria Baylor, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Driven by a profound sense to help High-Performing Leaders excel and showcase their Brilliance, Victoria Baylor offers her expertise in the fields of leadership development, mindset growth, and personal branding to help entrepreneurs, professionals, & organizational leaders gain the Clarity + Confidence to get out of their heads and excel in leadership. She is a Certified Mindset & Clarity Coach, NLP Practitioner, TEDx Speaker & 1 Amazon Best Selling Author whose holistic approach to coaching, speaking, and writing helps others accelerate their growth and push past their limitations.
After 15 years in research science, Victoria found her True Calling and purpose in behavioral science when she realized how easy it is for Women to lose their identities to the roles they serve in. She shares her insights & story in her TEDx talk, "You Are Who You Are, Not What You Do". This experience led her to focus on providing Coaching to help entrepreneurial & professionals (men and women) move beyond their mindset blocks and gain the personal brand clarity and strong mindset needed to operate as high-level leaders.
She also offers organizational interventions in the form of trainings, seminars, and/or team building to polish brilliant leaders. She is a writer for multiple publications and a podcast host. She serves on several boards and non-profit organizations. For fun, she enjoys traveling, cooking, and reading. She lives in Savannah Georgia with her husband and 14-year-old daughter, Reilly.
