Written by: Victoria Baylor, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I came downstairs one morning and all I remember was gasping and freezing in fear. In the corner of the wall, right next to the front door was a huge spider that had been caught in a smaller spider’s web. I’m not playing it was pretty big – likely a Hunstman, which is non-venomous. To my chagrin not only was there one spider but two. I don’t have an irrational fear of spiders but 16 legs between 2 insects is just WAY too many legs LOL. I clenched the side of the stair railing to keep a safe distance from that corner. And I carried on like this for 3 days in my house – in my own house. Every time I went downstairs I quickly walked by that corner eye-balling the spider that had taken up residence there. I know what you’re saying – why didn't you just spray it with bug spray and get rid of it? Why didn’t you just try to sweep it outside (my preferred method since I really didn’t want to kill it)? Why didn’t you let your husband handle it? – which he usually does. But no, I did none of those things – I was WAY too intimidated to try anything and AVOIDANCE seemed like the best route. And trust me I know how ridiculous and silly this all sounds. I was paralyzed by fear.
Now you may be laughing at me – which I wouldn’t blame you a bit – but I'm sure to a degree you can relate. Let’s translate this whole idea of “intimidation” to your professional career or business. How many times have you had a “seemingly small task to do” but allowed it to intimidate you? How many times have you had to just write one email or make that one call and were too fearful to do it? It was just a call or an email! Such a tiny thing! But like me with the spider, when fear is all you can see it can intimidate you from taking action.
Let's take it to the next level. There are people who have deferred their dreams over "little fears". They are still waiting to apply for a business license, to book the meeting that could put them in line for a raise, or do that Facebook Live or Instagram post to connect with their audience. Intimidation and fear are real, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that. For many of you, it isn’t the BIG decisions stopping you but the small ones. But remember those small decisions are usually the doorways to bigger opportunities! So when you don't face and overcome the small fears you ultimately limit your success.
If this has been you then all is not lost. There are definitely ways to overcome this type of fear and put your goals and dreams back into motion. Here are 4 helpful tips that will help you kick these minuscule fears to the curb:
Put things into perspective: Is what you’re fretting over as big as it seems or is it just a “thumbnail size" of fear? Look at the task in comparison to the benefits it could bring. Weigh the reward and risk. If the Return on Investment (ROI) is worth the risk then go for it. Write pros and cons list if you’re a visual processor.
Put your feelings in check: Trust me, as wonderful as your feelings are the last thing that you want dictating all of your decisions are your feelings. Simply put your emotions can't always be trusted. You can be happy and sad all in 5 minutes. Oftentimes our emotions can amplify the negative potential of a situation more than is necessary. If you’re in a heightened state of emotion, try to calm down before thinking through your situation. Better decisions are made with a clearer head.
Look for the bigger underlying Issue: Oftentimes the issue we think exists is hiding behind another issue. Maybe for you, it’s the struggle with perfectionism and because of that, you won’t complete a task unless you can ensure it’s completely perfect (I know all about that since that was my Achilles heel in years past). Maybe it’s self-sabotage and you don’t feel you deserve to move forward so you come up with every reason or distraction not to. If you’re unsure of why you keep ending up in this situation then definitely connect with a wise coach or mentor to help give you some perspective. I’m here if you need such help!
Get sound advice: Stuck in your head? You should seek wise counsel. You’re not the only person who has been at this crossroads. The Johari Window is a psychological principle that states that every person has blind spots they can't see beyond. Simply put, sometimes your issues and solutions are hard to figure out. This is why it’s great to have a Mentor, Coach, friend, or all 3 (smile). The right people can ask you the right questions to help you get clarity quickly so you’re not agonizing over small decisions and fears.
So now is the part where you get to take ACTION. What is that ONE small thing you’ve been putting off doing due to fear, a past failure, or the fear of failure? You know the one. It just popped up in your mind. I want you to write down a plan to get it done, preferably in 3 steps or less. Research shows that people are most likely to do the things that they write down. After writing it down you have 48 hours to make it happen.
Take Quick action! Share it with a friend so they can hold you accountable.
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Victoria Baylor, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Driven by a profound sense to help High-Performing Leaders excel and showcase their Brilliance, Victoria Baylor offers her expertise in the fields of leadership development, mindset growth, and personal branding to help entrepreneurs, professionals, & organizational leaders gain the Clarity + Confidence to get out of their heads and excel in leadership. She is a Certified Mindset & Clarity Coach, NLP Practitioner, TEDx Speaker & 1 Amazon Best Selling Author whose holistic approach to coaching, speaking, and writing helps others accelerate their growth and push past their limitations.
After 15 years in research science, Victoria found her True Calling and purpose in behavioral science when she realized how easy it is for Women to lose their identities to the roles they serve in. She shares her insights & story in her TEDx talk, "You Are Who You Are, Not What You Do". This experience led her to focus on providing Coaching to help entrepreneurial & professionals (men and women) move beyond their mindset blocks and gain the personal brand clarity and strong mindset needed to operate as high-level leaders.
She also offers organizational interventions in the form of trainings, seminars, and/or team building to polish brilliant leaders. She is a writer for multiple publications and a podcast host. She serves on several boards and non-profit organizations. For fun, she enjoys traveling, cooking, and reading. She lives in Savannah Georgia with her husband and 14-year-old daughter, Reilly.
