Written by: Bernice Fabi, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
What’s holding you back from (fill in the blank)? I’ll take a guess that when you really look deep, it’s a six-letter word spelled E X C U S E, and most likely it’s a plural seven-letter word spelled E X C U S E S. By its power, it wreaks havoc on all of us. It wreaks havoc on the world. Does the following resonate with you in any way?
Excuses
I should have
I could have
I would have
But I didn’t
This short piece I wrote carries a lot of underlying punch for me. I can’t help but think of opportunities missed or times I really messed up because I made up excuses. Occasionally, I let others down by making excuses. Mostly, I’ve let myself down. Perhaps you feel the same. Perhaps you even carry regret or guilt as a result of not pursuing responsibilities and opportunities that could have led to great possibilities for you. It’s really a shame to hang on to any regret or guilt as a result of anything in life and when we do let go, we can certainly move ahead in life more freely. There are four ways I’ve identified how excuses rule over us:
Excuses are fabricated lies we tell ourselves and try to make others and ourselves believe to be true. We attempt to explain or justify our behavior or attitude with inadequate reasons. We all know these excuses. I’m too busy. I’m too tired. I don’t have time. I don’t have support. I don’t know how. I’m too young. I’m too old. I don’t feel up to it. The list is endless. Listen to how you talk to yourself and others. We’re simply avoiding what we don’t want to do or covering up our poor behavior. They’re lies and until we face the truth within ourselves, we will continue telling ourselves these lies. Excuses are an easy road and we deceive ourselves by taking that easy road. We need to enable truth and discipline within ourselves to overcome this destructive communication. Only then will we recognize these lies we make up and be able to confront them. Giving power to the truth will also give power to discipline and behavior to help move us forward to do what we need and want to do.
Excuses are mental replays that render us motionless and keep us isolated. We play these same lines over and over as they become a subconscious way of thinking, believing and living. We become trapped and until we break free of that trap, we’re held a victim to continual destructive or unmotivated patterns which include making excuses. We isolate ourselves from opportunities, possibilities and connections in the world because we avoid, we procrastinate, we don’t do anything. These excuses we make up negate any positive intentions we have. We need to break the pattern of the continual negative movie script we play over and over in our minds and instead activate positive momentum.
Excuses are pitfalls that hold us back from experiencing the joy of life. We don’t easily recognize the unsuspecting danger of making these excuses until we desire changes and we’re frustrated because we’re at a standstill. Sometimes this standstill can last years. Fear of failure is often the foundation of this pit. We don’t even realize the accomplishment, satisfaction, fulfillment and joy that can exist for us because we’re caught in the trap that excuses create.
Excuses are reasons we die with regret of not truly having lived. The good news is that this does not need to be your reality. Truth, connection, and joy exist on the other side of actually realizing you are making excuses and a commitment to change your behavior. Along with taking this forward step it’s necessary to turn the conversations you have with yourself into affirming, loving, positive self-talk. Try these statements instead. I’m confident I can do this. There is no better time than now. I know support is available to me. I will find out how. I will do this.
In the midst of truth there are always answers to help you move forward. Discipline, hard work, forgiveness and time may be part of the process. Accompanying that effort, will likely be a very rewarding journey. Freedom starts as a new beginning once you step away from making excuses and focus instead on your motivation to change. This will also mean stepping out of your comfort zone and challenging any fear of failure you have. And when you are challenged in return by fear, visualize where you want to be at the end of your life and decide how you wish to take your last breath. If you decide that it will be as having lived life to the fullest, excuses need to go to the wayside now. Life is not a pile of excuses anymore. It needs to be a choice to live differently.
Bernice Fabi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Bernice Fabi is a certified Life and Empowerment Coach for women. She also applies mental fitness into her programs for a truly life changing experience. Always an eager life student, Bernice brings an array of experience to her coaching practice including a lengthy financial career and as an entrepreneur in real estate investment and management.
Bernice helps women overcome limiting beliefs and realize their potential. In doing so, they make choices to live an extraordinary and purposeful life.
