Written by: Aileen Carson, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I’ve always hated it whenever I’ve been told to believe in myself. If it was that simple, no one would ever experience self-doubt or lack of confidence. Being able to believe in yourself is a great way to help you find the confidence to take action and move forward in your life, but it’s often a difficult thing to do. Here are four tips to help you.
Distinguish beliefs from facts
We often tell ourselves stories about ourselves, but how often do we question our assumptions or seek the evidence to back them up? You might tell yourself that you don’t have the ability to do something and if you don’t question this, you’ll go on believing that you’re not capable when there is no evidence that this is true.
Look at the facts. When have you achieved things in your life? If you had the ability to do something on previous occasions, what’s stopping you from doing it now? Very often you’ll find that when you question your assumptions, the evidence for them simply isn’t there.
Before you start believing the stories you tell yourself, ask yourself where the evidence is to back up the stories you’re telling yourself.
Stop worrying about what other people think
Another way we prevent ourselves from believing in ourselves is by worrying about what other people think of us.
We might have goals we want to achieve, but we’re so caught up in what other people think and worry that they might judge us that this can stop us from taking action.
If you find yourself doing this, look at the beliefs you have about yourself and the assumptions you’re making about other people’s beliefs about yourself. You have no way of knowing what other people think of you, but you might be assuming they’re viewing you negatively.
You have no control over what other people think of you and it’s important to recognize that their perceptions of you are based on their own beliefs, assumptions, and experiences.
Once you start to realize you’re making assumptions about what other people think, you’ll find that you can think more clearly about what you really want and work out how to get there.
Reframe how you compare yourself with others
You might find that you have a tendency to compare yourself with others and then feel disappointed if you haven’t achieved something they have. This is likely to result in you feeling as though you’re not good enough. Not only is this an unhelpful belief, it’s also inaccurate as you are not the same as the person you’re comparing yourself with.
It’s worth remembering that success is unlikely to have happened overnight for that person. What you’re seeing might have taken years, so don’t make yourself feel bad if you’re not where someone else is. You’re not comparing like for like.
If you catch yourself making unhelpful comparisons, try reframing this and view their achievements as aspirations and feel inspired by them. This can help you develop your belief in yourself and give you the motivation you need to do this.
Use self-doubt to your advantage
Most of us will experience some form of self-doubt at some point in our lives. Sometimes this can take place in the workplace where you know deep down that you’re doing a good job, but you feel as though you’re so busy firefighting that you no longer recognize your abilities and feel as though you’re achieving nothing. You might even find that everyone around you thinks you’re doing a great job, but you can’t see it.
It’s perfectly normal to doubt yourself from time to time and it can be a good thing, but when it happens frequently, it can prevent you from moving forward. So what can you do when this happens?
Rather than seeing self-doubt as something that stops you from moving forward and achieving your goals, see it as an opportunity to grow and learn.
If used in a constructive way, self-doubt can help you identify genuine areas of weakness, rather than making you think you’re no good at something when, deep down, you know you are.
Once you have identified any weaknesses, you can then find a way of addressing them. This will help you to add value to your team or organization and increase your confidence.
Regardless of whether you judge yourself, compare yourself with others or worry about what other people think, the important thing to remember is not to judge yourself too harshly. Show yourself some compassion and recognize that most people experience this from time to time.
Aileen Carson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Aileen Carson is a professional coach who specializes in helping managers find ways of reducing stress and avoiding burnout to help them gain clarity on the next steps of their careers.
Aileen works with people who are unclear about where their career is heading as they are under constant pressure to achieve results. She helps them work out strategies to deal with stress so they can focus on their career ambitions.
Aileen’s own career transitions and personal experience of burnout have given her valuable insight that feeds into her coaching work. Her previous clients have learned to recognize their own needs, improve their wellbeing, work out their next career moves, recognize the signs of burnout, increase their confidence and improve their leadership skills.
