Written by: Sophia Casey, MCC, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Today let’s talk about self-confidence! Many of us will admit that we aren’t confident and face many difficulties in life due to our lack of confidence. Lack of confidence, accompanied by doubt and self-consciousness, can come from numerous experiences in life. It can be trauma, upbringing, disappointments, heartbreaks, or failures, all leading to the feeling of not being good enough in the end. Fortunately, with some self-awareness and effort, we can turn the tide and learn to be confident!
What Is Self-Confidence?
First things first, what is self-confidence? While the answer is quite simple, there are some caveats. Self-confidence is a feeling of trust in our abilities and judgment. But not to be confused with arrogance that says, “I am perfect,” self-confidence quietly says, “I’m not perfect, but I know I am capable.” On your path to confidence, don’t strive for perfection or superiority, strive for progress. Be proud and bold with your confidence, and never feel guilty for having it.
You Are Confident When You:
Have a sense of security rather than insecurity
Find yourself thinking “I can” instead of “I can’t
Feel ready to take on the daily challenges
Don’t say yes unless you actually want to
Recognize what you are good at and when you need help
Don’t seek approval
Why Self-Confidence Is Important
If you are still reading, chances are you’ve experienced a lack of confidence and came in search of improvement. If you ever passed on reaching out to a new person because you felt they might not like you or failed at something and felt that it might be best not to try it again, even if it’s something you’d like to succeed at one day, you are familiar with the negative emotions and regret that came with it.
Self-confidence helps us combat these urges of wiggling out and helps us feel ready for the experiences that life brings. When we are confident, we are more productive, more likely to push forward despite failure, more open to new relationships with no fear of rejection, and avoid backing away from trying new things. Having self-confidence helps us live fulfilling lives and reach our full potential.
Four Ways to Be More Confident
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
Don’t get me wrong, comparison can be healthy and extremely helpful. Imagine trying to improve at some skill while learning from someone who has mastered it. Comparing your skill with the master’s will illuminate the areas that require your attention and give you a good view of where you want your skill to be in the end. But beware of comparison if it makes you despise your own talents or traits. Learn to be happy for others without forgetting to cheer for yourself.
2. Embrace failure
Just like fear, failure is a part of our life and our greatest teacher. Don’t let yourself fret about what you might not achieve. Instead, focus on the countless possibilities ahead of you. Remember that no matter the outcome, you gain something. Nelson Mandela said it best: “You either win or you learn.” So don’t be afraid to stumble and fall every now and then. Just pick yourself up and try again.
3. Celebrate your victories
What was the last thing at which you succeeded? What was the last thing at which you failed? Which answer came to you easier? If it was the answer to the second question, you might be focusing on your losses more than your victories. Let’s change that! Think about something that went well today. Perhaps you got to work on time while you are usually a few minutes late. Isn’t it a victory? Acknowledge it! Practice celebrating your wins—the more intentional, the better—and your confidence will thank you.
4. Confidence is contagious
Being around confident people is another good way to build your confidence. Overcome challenges and grow together, and you will notice how you start emulating each other. It’s incredible.
Building confidence will let you access numerous brilliant ideas deep in your mind and the courage to bring them to life. You have a bright future ahead of you, and I can barely contain my excitement about it. I’m rooting for you! Be bold and be you.
Sophia Casey, MCC, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sophia Casey is a Master Certified Coach (MCC) credentialed by the International Coaching Federation (ICF). She is the Co-Founder and Chief Learning Officer at the global coach certification organization, the International Coaching & Leadership Institute (ICLI). Additionally, she is the Founder and CEO at Sophia Casey Enterprises, a leadership development, executive coaching, and consulting firm. Some of her proudest moments are being named Director of First impressions for a former Vice President of the United States and serving as the Executive Life Coach and co-facilitator for a series of TJ Maxx’ Maxx You Project workshops. Sophia relentlessly supports ICLI’s commitment to coaching for everyone, everywhere.
