Written by: Vicki Ravangard, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation of conflict with a co-worker, family member, or neighbor where you felt overpowered? Have you avoided confrontation only to find yourself in the same cycle of emotional turmoil?
I recently experienced a major breakthrough that came about from an ongoing dispute with a neighbor. One of the most interesting revelations was how I thought I wanted to find a resolution, but on reflection, I realized that I wanted to have my feelings validated.
I wanted so badly to be understood that I couldn’t see past my need to be right.
So how do you break the cycle effectively to resolve conflict and reconnect with your inner peace? Read on as I share with you the 4-step process that helped me.
1. Witness the cycle.
It can be tough to see yourself without bias, but the path to consciousness requires you to face yourself exactly as you are, without judgment, so you can transcend any illusion that you have created.
I made assumptions in my situation based solely on what I had observed without seeing the bigger picture or seeking direct answers from the other party. This sent me into a spiral of catastrophising what was happening and seeing things as worse than they actually were, which left me feeling hopeless that things would ever change.
When your body and mind enter a state of fear, it affects your capacity to think rationally and arrive at a logical conclusion. You only see the fear movie playing in your mind, even when you don’t want to believe it is true. Your body does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined, so it will respond to whatever emotion it is experiencing.
It is important at this stage to recognize the repeating pattern that is keeping you in a state of fear and judgment, witness it for what it is, not better or worse, and explore the ways that you can release this feeling.
Journal Prompt: How can I remain objective and observe without judgment? Write down what you notice about your situation and how it is making you feel.
2. Create space for another perspective.
I wanted to resolve an ongoing conflict of interest, or so I thought, but my passion for the matter at hand was clouding my ability to see clearly and find a balanced solution.
As someone committed to my spiritual practice, I caught myself by surprise when I realized that I was only considering my side of the story. As I opened myself up to understand the effects that my somewhat innocent behavior could have on someone else, I was faced with a moral dilemma.
If I continue, knowing the discomfort it may cause to others, I am consciously contributing to a problem, even if that is not my intention. If I stop, knowing that I am doing nothing wrong, then I am shutting myself down to please others; somewhere in between lies a compromise.
The very nature of a compromise is one where everybody has to make a sacrifice to conclude, but I like to think of it more as a win-win situation where the objective is to arrive at an outcome that works in the best interest of everybody.
I am a firm believer that there are 3 sides to every story: your side, their side, and the truth. None of these are right or wrong. They are all just different perspectives of what has happened. We all see and feel things differently, and simply acknowledging this and making room for the possibility that your way is not the only way is a step towards resolution.
Affirmation: I continuously commit to holding space for others, to see them with compassion, and to trust that there is always a reason, even when it’s far greater than I can comprehend.
3. Communication is key.
When in doubt, speak out. Where possible, speak honestly and openly about how you feel whilst holding space for someone else’s perspective. Holding on to your fears will keep you in a state of resistance to any peaceful resolution.
It is important to remember when communicating your feelings that confrontation does not have to equal conflict.
Confronting a dispute head-on can help you to understand someone else’s viewpoint. They may even present you with information that you had not previously considered. This can diffuse conflict instantly if you remain open to listening without judgment and communicating your feelings in a way that feels good for you.
You don’t have to back down or hide from a conflict; you deserve to take up space, and your opinions are important. Dig deep to seek out the inner strength to deal with these challenges and know that when love is at the heart of your message, it will rise above any fear.
Journal Prompt: How can I hear others without silencing my own voice?
4. Seek a peaceful resolution.
The real question when you are faced with conflict is: Do you want a peaceful resolution?
As I became more self-aware, I realized that this hadn’t been my priority, and whilst I did want a peaceful resolution, I hadn’t been actively seeking it. I wanted to continue what I was doing without adjusting my ways, yet once I realized this, my willingness to hear another version of the truth whilst speaking my own led me to make conscious decisions that aligned with peace.
Leaders don’t have answers. They create solutions.
Leaders have to think outside of the box and go first, even when they feel fear. They have the power to influence and create positive change in the world by expanding the limits of what is possible… and so do you.
You can do this by remembering who you are and acting from integrity without hiding, silencing yourself, or backing down.
You get to create your own rules as you seek peace on your path. Spirit will always help you find answers, even when it means venturing a little outside your comfort zone.
Speak your truth, break the chains and lead the way.
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Vicki Ravangard, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Vicki Ravangard is an Intuitive Mentor, Certified Angel Tarot Reader & Part Qualified Accountant. Vicki spent 10 years working in corporate finance, and 2020 was placed furloughed from her job. She took this opportunity to follow her soul calling and birth her spiritual business - Take Her To The Moon, serve her clients through divine guidance and mentoring, energy healing & tarot, helping them truly align, connect & transform their lives, and raise their consciousness.
Vicki has a huge passion for creating music, writing, traveling & Disney and is continuously inspired to blend the magic of these tools into her life & business.
