Written by: Wendy McKenzie, MA, MHT, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Wouldn’t it be incredible to feel free? Free from stress, anxiety, self-doubt, fear, depression, worry, or anger? Is it possible? Most self-help books and thousands of years of mystical teachers claim it is. Then what does that look or feel like? Is the end game to feel a perpetual sense of peace and, ‘happiness’?
I see clients frequently who understand their dilemma is their emotional response to things but feel stuck in knowing what to do about it. How do we get out of the matrix? Is it by being less human, numbing out, and ignoring our feelings? Does Freedom mean we “get rid of” or stop feelings? I’m afraid not. We are then encouraged to “embrace” our emotions. Does that mean we stay constantly immersed in a particular feeling, hoping to transmute it someday enough to feel something different? How do we evolve out of the loop we find ourselves in? Here are four steps to integrate our parts and turn toward Freedom.
The way “out of” the matrix isn’t actually an ‘out,’ it is a shift. Shifting from seeing things as black and white, good and evil, wrong and right, helps us discover acceptance. Your capacity to think, self-reflect, and choose is the key. This includes shifting out of seeing yourself as a human being having a conscious experience and seeing yourself as consciousness having a human experience. Understanding that you are part of a physical system, (biology) emotional system, (psychology) thinking system, (mindfulness), ecological design, (nature), and most importantly, part of a cosmic plan. Something much more significant than what we can conceive of in our minds. Some call it a connection to God or Goddess; others use the word Oneness or Spirituality; some prefer a connection to Gaia or Nature. All of them work.
Step 1:
First, recognize and admit that we tend to focus on the physical body, like a machine, to perfect and maintain. In theory, when all the parts are in homeostasis, we should find the peace we seek. Right? Unfortunately, our physical body is significant but is only part of the story—our physical wellbeing results from many other factors, such as emotions, thinking, and expanded consciousness.
Step 2:
Acknowledge your emotions, which are usually equated with weakness, stupidity, unpleasantness, and pain; they are not revered and paid attention to like the physical body. Imagine if we disregarded the physical body in the same way. The emotional body IS, just like the physical body IS. Having one means we are human; when we push emotions aside or avoid them, we emulate computers or plastic. Feelings are important and protect us like the skeletal or circulatory systems. Thank your emotions for doing their job, and repeat to them that you are “safe now.” You are safe because you are willing to show up for yourself and pay attention.
Step 3:
Strengthen your awareness by noticing how your thinking impacts your feelings. You must train your thinking to focus on what makes you feel good rather than what feels painful. Thoughts like, “You will never be good enough,” “You're not smart enough,” and “You're not worthy of love” are VERY common and often insidious. Catching them is often taught with mindfulness techniques like meditation. There are many ways to meditate. I recommend you try Vipassana meditation, which trains you to focus on yourself. Most importantly, start noticing the thoughts that cause pain and thank them for protecting you, then shift your thinking to what gives you peace or joy. We must draw the line in the sand with our thoughts, or they wreak havoc. Just like in relationships with people, we learn to set boundaries – this time, it is internally by saying no to specific thoughts. In addition, many thoughts we have are not true. Byron Katie, who teaches a self-inquiry method known as "The Work," says, “I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn't believe them, I didn't suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment”.
Step 4:
Lastly, connect with the bigger picture. None of us has the answers to life's big questions, but those who find peace have cultivated a connection to something bigger than them. Find what resonates for you and get into a practice of consciously relating to it. Freedom comes by looking through our hearts and cultivating a cosmic connection.
Integrating these four aspects of ourselves helps us let go of the matrix of the mind to drop into the heart. Yes, it takes awareness, attention, and willingness to turn ourselves in the direction that offers the freedom we seek. Does it mean we will always feel good and have a perpetual sense of ‘happiness’? No, we will have great days and uncomfortable days, but within us, we have a deep understanding of belonging, connection, and an inner knowing of how to continue to turn towards freedom.
Wendy McKenzie, MA, MHT, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Wendy Walter is a Master Potter, Licensed Esthetician. Spiritual Guidance Mentor and founder of The Voice of Clay (1999). With an MA in transpersonal psychology, she interweaves the alchemy of clay into her work as if YOU are the clay, to guide souls back to the heart center, transmuting what may seem like only “a lump of clay” into centered, grounded, purposeful and empowered human beings. Her mission is to empower people to live the highest version of themselves.
