Written by: Shannan Blum, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Your relationship with food, just like your breath, starts from your first moments on earth. As infants, nourishment is naturally associated with comfort as you were held when fed. Research demonstrates that breastfeeding releases oxytocin in both mother and infant. Oxytoxin is responsible for the release of other endogenous opiates – the “feel good” substances in our brains.
Instinctively, food helped you feel not just full, but ‘better.’ As you grew, however, that relationship got more complex. You didn’t always eat simply to satisfy hunger. You might have also turned to food for additional pleasure or comfort, stress relief, or as a reward. There isn’t anything inherently wrong about this. The problem comes when one excessively relies on food as a comfort factor, or as a primary emotional coping skill. Gabor Mate’ discusses how almost any substance or behavior can provide ‘addictive relief’ from pain in the short term.
Understanding emotional eating
Simply put, as a certified eating disorder specialist, I was taught that emotional eating is using food to deal with emotions, rather than to satisfy the hunger to nourish and sustain the body. This is complex because changing this requires not only the reduction of one type of behavior but also the increase of other behaviors. For instance, reducing emotional eating and increasing self-soothing to manage feelings. This is known as “behavior substitution.”
Emotional eating can involve overeating, intense cravings, compulsive eating, mindless eating, or binge behaviors. Unfortunately, emotional eating doesn’t resolve the underlying emotional, comfort, or connection desire in the long term. In fact, the original emotional issue remains, and you may additionally feel guilty, disappointed, and in some cases, physical discomfort. Learning to recognize your personal emotional eating triggers is key to breaking free from unhealthy habits, and developing more effective skills and patterns.
To clarify, emotional eating can sometimes be difficult to detect because associating comfort with food from time to time is 100% reasonable, such as family or cultural food traditions, celebrating, or out of nostalgia of past memories, etc. This is not an unhealthy occurrence.
So, how can you tell when it’s a problem? When eating becomes a regular or primary emotional coping skill – when your first impulse is to open the pantry or refrigerator when you’re upset, angry, lonely, stressed, excited or bored – you may be stuck in an unhealthy cycle where you are bypassing feelings by eating. Compounding the problem, when you use food as an emotional coping skill, you reduce your ability to learn healthier ways to deal with the underlying emotions.
Emotional eating feels beneficial in the moment because it provides a sense of pleasure and sometimes relieves emotions perceived as uncomfortable. But the reality is that emotional hunger isn’t satisfied with food – it’s satisfied by feeling the emotions.
Are You an Emotional Eater?
To determine if this is a pattern you engage in, take a few moments, grab a journal and get comfy, maybe even grab a refreshing glass of water or a cuppa tea. Give yourself ample time to examine these feelings. I suggest you write the questions at the top of your journal pages or paper, and allow plenty of space for a response:
1. Do you eat more when you’re feeling stressed?
What experiences create ‘stress eating’ for you?
In the past week, how many times have you done this?
2. Do you eat to reward yourself for successes, goals accomplished, to celebrate or compensate for doing challenging or difficult things?
Which successes or difficult activities will trigger ‘reward eating’?
How often will this occur?
3. Do you eat to calm and soothe yourself when you’re sad, mad, bored, anxious, etc.?
Which feelings trigger emotional eating moreso than others?
How many times in the past two weeks have you done this?
4. Do you regularly eat when you’re not physically hungry or already full?
If so, how often and what time of day? Notice any patterns.
5. Do you think of food like a companion, like a friend?
If so, how does it nurture or comfort you in ways that people don’t?
What would you want in a friend or companion that isn’t happening for you right now?
6. Do you feel powerless or out of control around food?
Are there specific experiences or events that activate this feeling & behavior?
How often does this occur?
7. Do you have certain feelings associated with certain foods? If so, which foods and which feelings stand out?
Make two columns and list the food on the left and associated feelings on the right.
Notice patterns and how often the same feelings are listed for different foods.
If you answered yes to 3 or more, then ‘more often than not’ you may be emotionally eating.
The difference between emotional and physical hunger
It’s important to learn how to distinguish emotional versus physical hunger so you can change your patterns. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) identifies “Wise Mind” as a combination of our emotional and logical thinking. “Emotion Mind” occurs when we are overly connected to emotions without acknowledging reason. Strong emotions are known to get in the way of “Wise Mind.” When you use food to help us manage strong feelings or beliefs – it can be easy to mistake it for physical hunger.
Here are some guidelines:
Emotional hunger isn’t located in your stomach/body. Physical hunger causes sensations like a growling belly or a pang in your tummy. With emotional hunger, have persistent or intrusive thoughts, often about textures, tastes, and smells even though you later mindlessly consume the food itself.
Emotional hunger craves specific “comfort foods.” Emotional hunger usually craves “highly palatable foods.” These are foods high in sugar, salt, or fat. These provide that immediate response or ‘rush,’ and you have the thought, “nothing else will do.” With physical hunger, however, almost anything sounds reasonable, and a wide variety of options will satisfy the hunger cues & growling tummy.
Emotional hunger generally comes on suddenly. It can hit fast and may feel overwhelmingly urgent. Unless you’ve not eaten for several hours, physical hunger comes on more gradually and doesn’t demand instant satisfaction.
Emotional hunger isn’t satisfied. With emotional eating, you keep wanting more and more, often eating until or past the point at which you’re physically uncomfortable. With physical hunger, on the other hand, you feel satisfied once your hunger is met, knowing that you’ve appropriately nourished your body, and you stop eating.
Emotional hunger often leads to ‘mindless eating.’ Mindless eating is eating without paying much attention to the flavor, temperature, texture, or satisfying elements of the food. You may not fully enjoy it or even recall your senses while eating. When you’re physically hungry, however, you’re typically more aware of what the experience is, how the food feels, tastes, smells, or how satisfying it is.
Emotional/mindless eating frequently creates feelings of guilt, shame, or regret. Because you’re eating in response to emotions or thoughts, not to meet your physical hunger, you may feel guilt afterward. Responding to physical hunger, though, doesn’t result in guilt since you’re simply fueling your body with what it needs.
Emotional Hunger v. Physical Hunger
Emotional hunger isn’t located in the body. | Physical hunger creates body cues. |
Emotional hunger craves specific types of foods. | Physical hunger is open to lots of satisfying options. |
Emotional hunger comes on fast, and ‘needs’ to be satisfied urgently. | Physical hunger gradually builds, and can wait even if slightly uncomfortable. |
Emotional hunger isn’t satisfied. | Physical hunger can be satisfied. |
Emotional eating becomes ‘mindless’ | Physical hunger promotes ‘mindfulness’ |
Emotional Eating leads to feelings of guilt & shame. | Physical hunger leads to feelings of satisfaction, or neutrality. |
4 Pro-Tips to Reduce Emotional Eating
Tip No.1: Identify triggers ‒ People eat for many different reasons. Refer back to the journaling prompts above and identify what situations, places, interactions, or feelings lead you to reach for the food. Some suggestions could be:
Excessive stress
Feelings of emptiness
Feelings of idleness/boredom
Historical/Childhood patterns
Deflecting or redirecting emotions
Social factors
Yours might be very different. Look for any patterns to notice yours.
Tip No.2: Develop other ways to manage your feelings. Ideas on this one might be:
Tune into your body ‒ acknowledge, observe & describe feelings and sensations
Begin other practices of mindfulness – like guided meditations ‒ and then learn to eat ‘mindfully’
Journal to gain insight and provide yourself with support before eating
Call an accountability buddy for support
Tip No.3: “Practice the Pause” when cravings hit. “Take 2” – answer the following questions before deciding to emotionally eat, and answer the questions for not emotionally eating, too:
How will I feel in 2 minutes?
How will I feel in 2 hours?
How will I feel in 2 days?
How will I feel in 2 weeks?
Refer to the answers you completed in your Emotional Eating Worksheet (free PDF worksheet here.)
Tip No.4: Support yourself with 5 essential healing habits each day as supported by Dr. Andrew Huberman, on his Hubermanlab Podcasts:
Moderate movement each day
Sunlight each day
6-8 hours of quality sleep each night
Meaningful social connections each day
Adequate hydration based on your stature & activity
Conclusion
Emotional eating can be challenging, but it’s not impossible to redirect! Learning the differences between physical and emotional hunger can help. Creating mindful awareness and distress tolerance skills to address your emotions instead of using food is helpful. Mindful distress tolerance skills such as guided meditations, journaling, and accountability support can also make a difference. Lastly, incorporating daily healthy habits for adequate sleep, movement, hydration, social connection, and sunlight are vital ways to support yourself.
If you want to support developing healing habits and could use premium, transformational coaching to feel more yourself and cultivate whole-self acceptance, please visit my resources page here, my website, or follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook or Instagram and reach out for a consultation.
Shannan Blum, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Shannan is a Wholeness Coach and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist with over 30 years experience helping individuals heal. She's worked extensively as a trauma-trained therapist helping others resolve trauma, depression, and anxiety responses. As a Wholeness Coach now, she helps individuals move beyond symptom reduction into holistic wellness, guiding them through a process of reclaiming well-being so they can finally feel consistently well. Having integrated childhood and religious trauma herself, she is skilled at guiding others toward whole-self acceptance. She uses evidence-based tools from DBT/CBT and Somatic Psychotherapy in her materials, courses, and books to help others "Reclaim, Rediscover, & Rebuild."
She recently published a series of books, "Therapy Thoughts: A 6-Month Guided Journal" for women, men, youth & non-gender and "Boundary Affirmations for Healing: Boundary Support for Women" print journal, eBook and Card Deck.
