Written by: Michaela Shaffer, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
There is a Toltec wisdom about 4 Agreements to live by to live a happy and peaceful life, but I would like to share how these agreements can be made to create and enhance confidence in your body, health in your mind and peace in your soul. First, we must understand why agreements are important in the first place.
We make millions of agreements throughout our lifetime, some of these agreements are of our own choosing and resonate with our soul. Others are agreements that were placed upon us and we chose them as truth regardless of how we felt. Those agreements, the ones that aren’t of our conscious choosing are the ones that hold you back. These false agreements come from a place of fear and lack of personal power. In order to be free from the structures that keep you in this “one size fits all” box you must break those agreements that you no longer agree with. When you find the courage to do so, you regain your inner power, agree to things that actually resonate with you and your world begins to transform right before your eyes.
Agreement No 2.Don’t Take Anything Personally.
Agreement No 3. Don’t Make Assumptions.
Agreement No 4. Always Do Your Best.
How to apply these to your body confidence journey.
Agreement No 1. Be Impeccable with Your Word.
Your words are powerful. So much so, that their energy alone can change your mindset and make it a place of the “victim” or it can be a place of solitude and happiness. Your words matter; whether they are spoken out loud, written or thought they make a huge impact. Think about the words you use on a daily basis regarding your body image; how often do you use words like love, beautiful, sparkling, happy, pretty, attractive, worthy, etc? How often do you use words like fat, ugly, unattractive, unworthy, unlovable, unwanted, etc? What words do you use when talking to/about others? What words do you use to talk/think about yourself? How do you feel when you use the negative words compared to the positive ones? Always stay in the flow of feeling good. Use positive words full of love, kindness and support at all times but especially when you are addressing your relationship with your body and food.
Agreement No 2. Don’t Take Anything Personally.
This one is easier said than done; we’re creatures that take everything personally on some level. But it seems we’re even more susceptible when we are in a lower vibrational state of mind. When people comment on our bodies, our clothes, how we look, what we eat or don’t eat, it’s easy to get caught in this trap of “Oh my gosh, they aren’t happy with my choice I have to change it.” NO. Other people’s words and opinions are NOT a reflection of you as a person; it’s actually a reflection of what’s going on in their own world. If someone tells you look bad, tired or that you’ve gained weight, so what?
That is their opinion of you. Same goes for if someone compliments you, don’t take it personally. By that I mean don’t let their words (positive or negative) become a source of attachment for you. Your opinion is truly the ONLY one that matters, as hard as it is to believe that some days it’s true. We look outside of ourselves way too much and get caught in other people's traumas, judgements and desires. It gets way too confusing, so please try your best not to take anything personally and only resonate with the loving feelings you know are within your soul.
Agreement no. 3 Don’t Make Assumptions.
Another tricky one, as we humans love to make a**es out of you and me. Assumptions can cause us so much grief and take up so much of our mental well-being; assuming we aren’t worthy because we aren’t X pounds, X clothing size. Assuming we aren’t loveable, worthy or deserving of love because of what people tell us or things we see in the media. When we make these assumptions, more often than not our brains go straight to the negative. Don’t assume the media and diet culture are correct about your body image and food (frankly they’re not.) Don’t assume that others know what’s best for you (only you know that.) Don’t assume that you’re unattractive, unworthy or undeserving of love, respect and appreciation! Don’t assume people are better than you just based on their physical appearance. You are a soul having a human experience, your body is just one aspect of yourself and frankly not even the best asset!
Agreement No. 4: Always Do Your Best.
Lastly, always do your best! No matter what. Don’t get caught up in doing things perfectly, we’re human, perfection doesn’t exist like we are told it does. Don’t get caught up in ‘failing’ or beating yourself up for not succeeding. Those ‘failures’ and setbacks are lessons in disguise, they’re telling you what doesn’t work. Pick yourself back up and try again. Be patient. Be persistent. Be courageous. Be YOU. Give it your all, no matter what that looks like for you. Do your best to make choices based on what your body needs; do your best to listen to your intuition, your body, your mind…they’re always communicating to you just what you need. Practice paying attention and acting from a space of love and support. Give yourself more credit, you are an incredible human who’s already come this far in life. Don’t stop! Embrace yourself body, mind and soul and watch your relationship with yourself and your life blossom with immense beauty and admiration.
Michaela Shaffer, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Michaela Shaffer is a Body Image Coach who helps women ditch fad diets, destructive eating habits and negative self talk to embody a life of health, happiness and utter confidence. Before she became an expert in the relationship to the body, she too battled negative body image, mindset and destructive eating habits. For years she tried to attain the "perfect" body, going to extreme lengths to try and change her appearance, size and weight so she could then be accepted, loved and found worthy. However, things took a turn for the better when she formulated a proven holistic way to heal her relationship to her body, mind and even her emotions to find worth from within. As a result she became the happiest, healthies and most confident version of herself. With these proven steps in her online programs, "Sassy, Sexy & Confident" "Nourished Soul Collective" and "Back to Basics" she's been able to serve women and help them break free from diet culture, false beliefs, negative view of self and guide them to a life of freedom, confidence, health and happiness.
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