Written by: Erika Davey, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Are you frustrated by the overwhelming advice to “let it go”, “move on”, and “get over it” because you feel like you would, if you only knew how?
Below, find 3 ways to protect yourself from your triggers, let go of unwelcome energy, and find peace in your everyday life.
1. Block It
Boundaries are guidelines, rules and limits you create to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards you.
The more you know about yourself, the easier it is to set and hold boundaries, because you are naturally able to stand up for your truth and what is important to you.
When you don't have personal boundaries, other people can take advantage of you and your time without even meaning to.
Living without boundaries sets you up to over-share personal details, leaving you open to hurt and manipulation.
Without boundaries, you give off the signal that you don't know how to take care of yourself, which attracts people who want to control you.
You can manage the energy around you.
Managing your energy helps you hold your boundaries and gives you the ability to let go of what is triggering you, increasing your sense of inner peace and clarity.
There is an energy surrounding you all the time. The key is to differentiate energy into YOUR energy and NOT YOUR energy.
YOUR energy is positive for you and is made from your thoughts, beliefs and desires. It is your soul's voice.
NOT YOUR energy is negative for you and is made from outside energy including criticism, opinion, trauma and experience that mixes with your thoughts and can disguise itself as YOUR energy in the form of self-criticism, negativity, self-doubt and self-harm.
By learning to distinguish between the energy that is good for you and energy that weighs you down, you can build energetic boundaries that make it easier to say “yes” to things that support you and your goals.
2. Heal It
A few years ago, I discovered an ancient Hawaiian healing practice called Ho'oponopono, designed to reduce resentment and provide an opportunity for forgiveness and closure.
The Hawaiian word Ho‘oponopono comes from ho‘o ("to make") and pono ("right"). The repetition of the word pono means "doubly right" or being right with both yourself and others.
The idea is that when you become right with others, you become right with yourself.
The practice of Ho'oponopono has 4 parts. Each part is important, but the order in which you say them is not.
Thank you
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
The next time you find yourself in a stressful situation or need to snap yourself out of a funk, whether you know the cause or not, chanting the 4 parts of Ho'oponopono can help you feel better
The order of the phrases does not matter
Repeating the 4 phrases, like a chant or mantra, has been shown to improve anxiety and break a cycle of negative thinking.
"Thank you, I love you, Please forgive me, I'm sorry."
You may find yourself wondering what you have to be sorry for and why you are asking for forgiveness.
These phrases provide an opportunity to take responsibility for your part in the situation and also feel the relief and gratitude that is available when you remove yourself from a situation that isn't good for you.
3. Be Present
There is a special part of your brain, the cortex, that is interested in learning and growing because the focus is on logic and reason.
If the cortex is firing, you are able to think logically, instead of emotionally. One of the best ways to fire your cortex is to activate one of your senses.
By being present – activating one of your senses to gain information about your surroundings – you are using your cortex and are approaching a situation with logic and reason, which increases your ability to let go and move on.
Activate one of your senses to keep the logical part of your brain active and be present in any situation.
Sight - Reading, looking at pictures of happy times, seeing a friendly face, child or animal
Sound - Listening to something that teaches you a new fact or sparks your interest will activate the cortex, like music, a podcast, or book on tape or talking with a friend.
Touch - Any noticeable sensation on your skin will activate the cortex, like soft fabric, a self-neck massage, the feel of sunshine or a breeze on your skin, a hug, petting an animal.
Smell - Pleasant or noxious smells will activate the cortex, like essential oils, a favorite food, perfume/cologne, flowers
Taste - Like smell, activation of the taste buds, with a pleasant or gross taste, will activate the learning part of your brain.
When you activate your senses, you are able to stay present in any situation by activating the learning part of your brain, which also sets you up to let go and move on more easily
Use these 3 practices any time you need help letting go and moving on:
Block It - Set and hold boundaries. And remember, if someone doesn’t like your boundary, that is not your problem
Heal It - Use Ho’oponopono to heal yourself and others
Be Present - Activate one of your senses and let your brain convince you it’s time to move on and feel peace in everyday life
Each of these techniques has helped me learn how to let go, move on, and enjoy peace in my everyday life.
As a coach, I combine Enneagram-based learning with techniques like this to help my clients find peace, contentment and joy in everyday life. Take a free Enneagram assessment here, or please visit my Enneagram coaching profile.
With peace and love,
Erika
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Erika Davey, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Erika Davey is a Coach, Mentor, and fellow human who works to overcome her own struggles every day. With over 25 years of experience in healthcare, the last 18 years as a Physician Assistant, Erika thought she knew how the body worked. Then, six years ago, she found herself exhausted, consumed with chronic abdominal pain, and full of anxiety. After trying everything offered by physicians and nutritionists, she began to realize that classic Western medicine doesn’t address the connection between mental and emotional wellness and physical symptoms and pain. She didn’t want to shun her medical training, but was intrigued to learn more, so she pursued a Health Coaching Certificate and extra education in Gut Health, Hormone Health, and Emotional Eating. She explored the world of self-healing, chakra health, meditation, and energy management in an effort to calm her mind and heal her spirit. And, she dove deeply into the Enneagram, fascinated by the insight available into our secret fears and why we do what we do. She is elated at what she discovered — a combination of the wisdom and insight of the Enneagram, the benefits of science and Western medicine, and energy management and self-healing techniques. By increasing her self-awareness and learning how to set and hold boundaries, she has been able to trade anxiety and overwhelm for resilience and calm. Now, Erika uses the Enneagram to help her clients achieve self-acceptance and enjoy a sense of peace and contentment in everyday life.
