Written by: Sandra D´Angelo, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Communication is one of the main factors to either make or break any kind of relationship.
In today´s article, I want to share a couple of tips with you. At first glance, these tips might seem obvious however they are commonly placed at the back of our minds. These tips will help you to elevate both your relationships at work and in life.
Nowadays, we find ourselves going through trying times, most of us are in our home offices, neither able to travel freely nor socialize face to face. Luckily, today´s technology has made communicating with each other much easier. In just a couple of clicks, messages, Zoom calls… you can reach anyone who has an internet connection, no matter what part of the world they might be in.
However, simple communication doesn’t mean an easy communication, does it? Especially with so many distractions all around. There´s just so much going on around you that it becomes impossible to focus on what the person in front of you is saying. Not being “all-in” with what´s being communicated to you can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, fights and can even damage relationships beyond repair.
Building and maintaining great relationships requires, among other factors, time, respect, trust, understanding, dedication, and sharp focus. If you want to build long-lasting and strong relationships, you need to go “deeper” and show genuine interest in the people you interact with. You want to show them that you truly care by investing yourself and your time in them.
Here is what can help you bring your relationships at work and life to the next level:
Proper listening
Today´s fast-paced world made this obvious communication skill become a rather rare one. People are way too distracted: by their own thoughts, by technology, by structuring responses before the other person stops talking, or by assuming what the other person might be thinking. There´s so much going on that very often, instead of “listening,” you are only
“hearing” what the other person has been telling you.
So, what´s the difference between “hearing” and “listening”?
Simply put, hearing is a “shallow” mode of listening. It means to perceive sounds and being aware of them but not putting effort into interpreting the information.
On the other hand, listening is perceiving sounds and making a conscious effort in processing them, making sense out of them, as well as interpreting and understanding the meaning behind them.
If you want to listen on a deeper level, there’s more to it than only listening to the words which have been spoken. For example, you want to pay attention to the tone of the voice, volume, speed, you want to observe the silent breaks. As well as thinking about what’s not being said, like the body language of the person you are interacting with.
There is certainly some work that has to be done whilst “only” listening. The good news is, that listening is a skill and as such can be learned and improved. The more you practice this particular skill, the better you will become at it. Be curious, be patient, offer people the space they need to open themselves up, and then truly listen. There´s so much you can learn.
Asking questions
When communicating with others, instead of giving advice, commenting, judging, or talking about yourself - spend more time focusing on the person that is in front of you. Make it about them, not you.
Be genuinely curious about the person to who you speak to. Show your interest in them.
You might be wondering: “but how am I going to know what to ask?”.
The answer is quite simply by listening.
If you truly listen with the intention to engage and understand, you will know exactly when to ask your question and what to ask.
By asking questions, you help the other person think, you help them gain new perspectives, you challenge them, you make them be fully engaged. You also make them feel special, understood, respected, and appreciated. And by bringing up such feelings with people you engage with, your relationships will flourish.
Don’t judge
You never know what someone might be going through. Even if you do know, there´s always another part to their story.
Just like not everyone can please you, you cannot please everyone. And that is perfectly fine. As long as you are being honest, kind and respectful.
If a person doesn’t align with your values, goals, ways - they don’t need to be a part of your circle. You choose with whom you want to surround yourself with. Whomever you decide to surround yourself with has a strong impact on your life, so make sure to choose these people wisely.
At work, there will surely be people with whom you don’t align with, but you need to work with them regardless. While you certainly don’t need to seek to make friends with everyone, you want to make sure to have a professional relationship and respect each other´s line of work. Set boundaries and make a clear distinction between private and professional relationships.
When you notice that you went into a “judging mode,” pause for a second and challenge yourself to assess the person from an objective point of view. Don’t attach to your emotions nor take things that happen around you personally. Instead of seeking to see the negative in people, focus on searching for positives and lifting each other up.
Sandra D'Angelo, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sandra D´Angelo is a Certified Life Coach & Trainer dedicated to coaching Business Professionals to manage their time more effectively and achieve outstanding results in their careers and privately. Through her specific coaching program, Sandra helps individuals to increase their focus, take effective action and create more success, by making themselves and their wellbeing a priority.
Sandra holds an MBA in Communications & PR and has years of experience working in sales & consulting in Switzerland and Germany. Including building two successful business units from scratch. Before becoming self-employed, consulting & coaching have always been a part of Sandra´s professional life. Behind her is a strong track record of professionals from different backgrounds who she helped to explore their true potential and create the lives they want.
