Written by: Jazzmon Wright, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The holidays are usually a time of good cheer, filled with family events and fun times. Cooking in the kitchen, putting up the Christmas tree, and opening the gifts purchased with love. We all know, with the good, comes the bad. The other side of the fun times is the hard times. There are so many of us who are experiencing the reality of not being with loved ones or not having the resources to participate in certain events. The holidays are not joyous for everyone. Here are 3 ways you can help your loved ones or deal with the heartache of the holidays.
1. Respect their decision and space.
If they do not want to participate in events, do not force them. Support them. Let them know you love them. Check on them by phone. Bring them food from the event. Make them feel secure in knowing they can count on you to be understanding in their time of pain. Everyone needs time and space to process the events in a way that helps put their lives into perspective and balance. If you are the one experiencing the heartache, understand that it is ok to say no. It is ok to sit with your feelings and let them flow. Do whatever you need to do in that moment to get to a place of peace.
2. Be patient.
There is no time limit on healing from heartache. Every minute of the day is going to be different. Although you may not be able to relate to how they are feeling or you may even disagree with how they feel, but it’s not for you to make that decision. Be gentle with encouragement because it can be misconstrued as an imposition, and it can cause more harm than help. Allow your loved one to express their feelings and be silent before responding. Silence will give you time to adjust your thoughts and choose your words carefully. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
3. Encourage and Uplift.
There is a fine line, so you must be careful when doing this or doing it for yourself. Sometimes, we get so tied up in wanting someone to feel better or we ourselves rush the process because we are assumed to be the “strong” one. Rushing the process doesn’t make it go away. If someone is rushing you into feeling better, it will eventually cause resentment. If you’re loved one is going through this, it is best to encourage them to feel it. Then uplift them with affirming of who they are. Admire them for being strong enough to process how they feel so they can get to the other side of heartache. For those “strong” ones who respond better to deep diving into self-encourage yourselves to explore your heartache. Uplift yourselves with the vision of what coming out on the other side will look like. Imagine what your day of overcoming will look like. How will you feel? What will you do? How will you write your new story?
Sitting here dealing with my own heartache, I speak from experience. The holidays are super challenging for me, but I wake up daily, so that is my blessing alone. If this season is as hard for you as it is for me, I encourage you to read number 3 again. After you read number 3 again, check out this article on heartbreak written by Kelly G. Wilson and healthy healing written by Barbara Cox. For those who love someone who’s dealing with heartache, love them through it with patience and understanding. It is my true belief that pain only endures for a night, but joy will come when we are ready to receive it.
Jazzmon Wright, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jazzmon Wright is a mom, veteran, author, virtual fitness instructor and previous co host of JT Ladies Lounge podcast/radio show live on Facebook. Jazzmon’s passion grew for Heath and wellness once she realized how much it affects her community. Helping people change their daily habits by making healthier choices not only improves their health, but it changes the complete outlook on life. Jazzmon cannot wait to work with moms and other busy women who are looking to get their sexy back from the inside, out. She is on Instagram and Twitter as Black Queens Fitness club.
