Written by: Silvana Avram, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
If freedom is a value we all seem to embrace naturally, (see my recent Brainz article on this topic), being of service is, undoubtedly, one of the most powerful driving forces motivating us.
There is nothing more fulfilling than knowing that we are helping and inspiring others, that we are doing something valuable for society, that our contribution matters.
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
During the pandemic, we have all witnessed many wonderful gestures of solidarity. The recent crisis in Ukraine has moved all of us, and many have been wondering instinctively: “How can I help?”
Despite what we might think when we watch the news and when we hear about so many terrible things happening in the world, the drive to help others, the desire to be of service, is part of what makes us human. Numerous studies have been made, and numerous books have been written on the power of compassion. We all have a natural tendency to support each other. Deep down, we all acknowledge the strength we get from unity.
It should therefore come as no surprise that one of the most recurring themes in Coaching Conversations is the need to reach out, to be of service, to contribute to society.
“How can I help others?” “How can I have a bigger impact?” – are amongst the most frequent questions in my conversations.
I wholeheartedly encourage my clients – and I’d like to encourage you too ‒ to reach out and help as much as you can, to be as generous, as kind, and as supportive as you can be.
But, if you would allow me to, I would also like to suggest that, before we set out to offer our help, we have an honest conversation with ourselves, about our deeper drivers and motivators, and about some of the misconceptions around “helping others”, that are still present in our society.
How can we best help others? And who are we helping, exactly?
As a Coach, I believe that to really be of service, we must come from a place of awareness and authenticity.
So here is what I tell my clients: “The simplest way to help others is by being the best you can be. You help humanity by being yourself. By expressing your uniqueness. By being free. By taking responsibility: first, for who you are, then, for who you want to be.”
And here is my message to you: By no means go ahead and help as much as you can. Just make sure that you are honest with yourself and that you are taking full responsibility.
Let me explain.
Firstly, it is important to acknowledge that you help others just by being authentically you. Every day you give those around you, and the world, your energy, your presence, your richness. You matter. Your contribution is unique and valuable. No one else can take your place – no one else can be you. Your presence, your time, your attention, your openness, your empathy, are all invaluable gifts.
Be confident in this awareness. Do not set out to help others because you feel bound by duty, because you feel obliged, because it will assuage a sense of guilt, because it will make you feel important or superior, or because it will make you feel better. Be honest. Help others from a place of strength and serenity. Help because that’s who you are. Help because you can. Help because you want to.
Secondly, when you are ready to consciously reach out and help others, it will be useful to keep the following universal principles in mind:
Liberty, Equality, Fraternity.
Highlighted during the French Revolution and enshrined in the Declaration of the Rights of Man issued in 1789, these three concepts have been shaping our view of the world ever since. They are now more relevant than ever. They should continue to inspire us and inform our choices. To my mind, they represent the core values at the heart of the new, fairer, more inclusive, and more generous society we all dream of. And we can start by implementing them at a personal level. Embrace them in your life, in everything you do. Let them guide you.
3 Universal Principles to keep in mind as you offer help
“In helping others, you help yourself and you help all of us: you help humanity.” ‒ Silvana Avram
1. Liberty
Know that you help others just by being you, by doing your best. Liberate yourself from doubts, from hesitations, from any kind of pressure. Hold this principle of liberty when it comes to others too. Be free of expectations. Free of judgement. Give generously. Offer help wholeheartedly. Do not expect anything in return. No strings attached. Let the act of giving be your reward. We are all free. Giving is receiving. Receiving is giving. Any relationship is an exchange of energy. You enrich yourself by giving. By helping others, you embody the best in humanity.
2. Equality
Offer help from a place of humility and simplicity. We are all equal. Be grateful to those who accept your help. Be ready to receive their help in return. Help should be empowering for both the receiver and the giver. See helping as a natural exchange. Trust yourself and trust others. Each one of us has something to offer. Each one of us brings a valuable contribution to humanity.
3. Fraternity
See humanity as your extended family. We are all in this together. Go beyond the illusion of duality. The giver and the receiver are one. Know that by helping others you are helping yourself. Only together will we be able to create the fairer, happier society we all dream of. We have a common destiny.
By helping others, you are helping all of us – you are helping humanity.
Take some time to reflect on these principles. Use them to broaden your horizon, to cultivate empathy and solidarity.
Remember that the simplest way to contribute to the world is by being the best you can be.
With this in mind, and with the awareness that each one of us matters, allow yourself to be guided by the principles of Liberty, Equality and Fraternity.
As we take steps to be the best we can be, and as we strive to help each other, I am confident that there will come a day when we are able to build a better world, together, in unity.
A world that empowers us to be free.
A world based on our deep need to be of service.
A world that represents our highest aspirations.
A world that reflects the best in us.
A world of mutual respect, of compassion and brotherhood.
A world of freedom, of equality and of fraternity.
Silvana Avram, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Silvana Avram is a successful, Inspirational Life Coach, philosopher, author, teacher, and founder of Life Coaching with Silvana – whose mission is to empower us to embrace our uniqueness, fall in love with life, fulfil our potential and create a beautiful legacy.
Fascinated from a young age by the mystery of life and our place in the universe, Silvana has been on a quest to find her own answers to the big existential questions facing humanity. Now an acclaimed Coach and Author, she draws on her extensive study of Philosophy, Psychology, Meditation, Holistic Healing, and Spirituality to create a uniquely inspirational and empowering style of Coaching – also reflected in her Book “Being You and Loving You” in which she guides us through an unforgettable, transformative journey of self-discovery and self-love.
Convinced that we can overcome the prevalent paradigms of fear and division, Silvana has recently focussed her attention on developing a radically innovative approach, outlined in her upcoming book, “Living in Eternity” – and which has earned her an unexpected nickname: “Miss Eternity”! She argues passionately that, rather than chasing goal after goal and living for tomorrow, we should, instead, live every day, every moment, with the joy, awe, and serenity we experience when we see our lives from the perspective of Eternity. When we choose to live in Eternity, everything falls into place, everything we do takes on a different meaning, and we become aware that, as humanity, we are, in fact, constantly creating our common legacy.
Silvana’s ambition: to inspire us to write a better story for ourselves – and for humanity – in Eternity!
