Written by: Shirine McRae-Freeman, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When I entered the borders of the United States of America in my early twenties, I saw only dreams and possibilities. Imagine growing up in a Christian home where your parents raised you to be a citizen of substance in this world. Years later you’re being proposed to by this wonderful man. You got married and life instantly felt like a gentle Caribbean breeze. Gradually, that gentle breeze began to feel like tornados. You’re hit in every angle with words, actions, and hurtful confessions.
You’re in a strange country, getting a divorce. You also must wake up every day and figure it out. That was my life. One day I came home and he was gone, forever. I stood there looking at the empty space and thought to myself, “One day I will rebuild.” I felt rejected, guilt, ashamed, and very confused. Though it was a very challenging season for me, my drive to push against the odds later produced a courageous woman. How I did it?
1. Remember
Though emotions may be running wild it’s important to keep in mind that you are worthy. It happened to you and in some cases, it happened for you but your value as a woman hasn’t decreased. The courageous, intelligent, and beautiful woman before divorce still lives within you. Don’t lose sight of her because you’re in a season of grief. She is worthy of love, stability, and success.
2. Rebuild
Now that your financial flow is flowing differently creating a budget is essential. Yes, you deserve the best but let’s keep it real, building back will demand discipline. Living within your means entails, revisiting your ability to eat out as often as you do, go on vacations and shopping shoes. Let’s make sure the payment for your new living arrangement is covered. While you’re at it lets add car note, insurance, and groceries to the budget. Paying down or paying off your credit cards and loans are also encouraged. Keeping up with our spending habits will help us with structure as we rebuild.
3. Reconnect
During this season of your life focusing on the kids and everyone else affected may consume you. Allow yourself to feel, process those emotions then respond. It’s ok to seek the help of a coach or therapist to help you process your feelings. Put you on your schedule. Take long baths, light that candle you’ve been saving for that special occasion, go back to school. Reconnect with yourself, family, and friends in a deeper way. As you build meaningful connections, you’ll discover that this world is waiting on your arrival.
I persevered and created the future I wanted and educated myself in areas I wanted to excel. This is a country where one’s dreams can be realized but as an immigrant woman who encountered a divorce, I had to be the driver of my destiny. At one point or another, I had no money, car or a job. Knowing that faith without works is dead I couldn’t pray and sit by but did the internal and external work. From divorced, rejected, and ashamed to becoming a published author, CEO, Speaker and Holistic Coach who help women regain control over their lives after divorce so that they can be empowered to experience freedom, healing and transformation.
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Shirine McRae-Freeman, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Shirine McRae-Freeman is a published author, speaker, holistic coach, and works in the financial industry. After experiencing a divorce that caused her to lose control of her finances, relationships, and spirituality, Shirine created strategies to help women regain control over their lives after divorce so that they can be empowered to experience freedom, healing, and transformation.
She is the CEO of Freeman Transformation Academy, LLC. A company created to provide women with the tools and resources needed to uncover a life of wealth and authenticity through coaching, books, courses, and events. Shirine is the author of "She Wears her Crown." A 31 days women's devotional.
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