Written by: Mikal Nielsen, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Thank you for stepping into this article, and congratulations, you are likely to have taken ownership of being a high achiever, or at least questioning it.
Being a high achiever is natural. I believe we are all born that way. However, many of us, I included, had it conditioned out of us.
It took me many years to reconnect with that natural part of me who wants to be the best version of me that I can be.
And then another bunch of years to fully embrace it and take ownership of it, including the beautiful ups and painful downs that come in the wake of it.
When we admit at least to ourselves that we are high achievers and realize that it more often than not brings with it a certain amount of stress, we open up to looking at it in a far healthier and more productive way.
Let's first have a quick look at why stress tends to come along for the ride of high achievements:
Stepping Up. High achievers want to achieve higher. Along with stepping up comes an increase in intensity and pressure. If we are not very careful and aware, stress will tend to creep in.
Stepping Out. Achieving at a higher level most often requires that we step out of our comfort zone. That's scary — which in and of itself, it is not a problem, but it will turn into stress if not managed.
Be our best. As high achievers, we have a tendency to demand the best of ourselves. That is all good as long as we are in the driver's seat. But, unfortunately, sometimes it is a deeper need to prove ourselves that is driving the achievement, in which case it will bring stress along for the ride.
Takes more time. Higher achievements tend to take longer. That means something else has to go. Depending on what goes, say time with the family or looking after your own health, it will bring different stress into the mix.
If any of this is landing for you, let me assure you that you are not alone. All high achievers have experienced stress.
It's frustrating, because deep down, you know it doesn't have to be that way. But, with COVID-19 thrown into the mix, this has increased the stress levels for most people, including high achievers.
You know that times like this define you, and this is the time that will allow you to step up, step out and increase the impact you have on the world.
But, don't allow stress to infiltrate into the journey of your achievements, as it will not only diminish the fulfillment you get from it but even has the potential to sabotage it.
So, what is this thing we call stress, and how do we fix it?
If it was easy to fix, we would have done that a long time ago, but it keeps getting worse and worse. So I'm here to assure you that it is not easy. Well, you knew that already. Otherwise, you wouldn't be reading this article.
However, I'm also here to tell you that it is simple. Not easy — but simple. I wrote a whole book about that ‘The Quick Fix to Any Problem,' but for now, let's try and understand stress at the most basic level before we look at 3 simple ways to reduce it.
Stress is caused by resistance to what is.
The gap between what is and what you perceive it should be may show up as frustration, anger, irritation, hurt, resentment, and so on. The intensity will depend on the size of the gap.
The gap has a tension to it that we can label any way we want, but the tension itself is just tension. So tension itself is not stressed, but the resistance to the tension is stress.
So stress is a mental construct. It is not caused by outer circumstances but by us allowing outer circumstances to stress us out.
Therefore, the most useful and powerful solutions to stress come from within, not from changing the circumstances. If your circumstances are unacceptable and you need to change them or remove yourself from them, make sure to do that, but there is no need to allow stress to enter into it.
But the reality is, we do let stress slip in the backdoor and find ourselves in a state of overwhelm, throwing our arms in the air and speaking a language that hopefully no one is recording.
This is where having a bunch of stress busters comes in handy. I will share 3 really simple but extremely powerful stress buster here, so you have a bit of a repertoire to circulate through.
Then, if you want more, download my free 36-page Stress Buster Guide for High Achievers with an additional 7 stress busters as well as lots more information about stress and its harmful side effects. You can use this link to access it.
Stress Buster No.1 Pause
When we get caught up in stress, our minds tend to be extremely busy, but unfortunately not in a productive way. So mostly, it will be looping around in circles, and despite going fast, not really getting anywhere.
This is where the pause comes in. As soon as you catch yourself in the middle of stress, you have a window of opportunity. You can either fall victim to the momentum of the stress and stay caught in it, or you can activate a conscious pause to take back control of the moment and your mind. One way of doing that is to count to 5 slowly. Then, you can count up or down whatever works best for you.
Pausing and counting to 5 does a number of extremely valuable things:
First, it gives you a mental break to let go of thoughts.
Calms you down.
It allows you to recalibrate for what's next.
Increases clarity and focus.
Sets you up for the other 2 stress busters.
As you can see, super simple and. In reality, very easy. The by far hardest part is to remember to do it when the pressure is on. I, unfortunately, don't have an easy solution to that.
But I do have the solution: Practice!
With that, on to the second stress buster.
Stress Buster No.2 Breathe
Conscious breathing is probably the oldest and most effective way of reducing stress.
The main reasons for that are:
You are already breathing, so no need to do anything that is not already happening.
It is always there, in every situation, day and night.
No physical effort is required.
It is good for your health.
It's free.
When we are stressed, we tend to breathe faster and more shallowly, neither being good for our body or mind. Instead, it creates more tension and makes our minds more erratic.
To reverse this, use the breathe stress buster straight after the pause by taking a big breath in really slowly.
While taking that breath, pay full attention to the movement of your body breathing. Then, in the exhale, feel a sense of letting go of both physical and mental tension.
Please, give it a go right now. A big breath, smile, and let it go. Ahhhhh!
At the end of the first big breath, make a conscious decision to take another one or not. Either way is fine as long as it is a conscious decision. Rinse and repeat as many times as is useful to you.
With the pause and breathe sorted, we can progress to the third stress buster:
Stress Buster No.3 Gratitude
The more stressed we are, the more we have lost touch with being grateful for what we already have and what is already working in our lives.
Gratitude is a powerful positive feeling that tends to have a calming effect on our minds.
As mentioned earlier, stress is related to tension, and negative feelings and typically makes the mind more erratic.
Therefore, gratitude is a powerful antidote to stress and a perfect Stress Buster.
You can use it on its own or in conjuration with Stress Buster No.1 and/or No.2
Simply take a few moments to remind yourself of 2-3 things you are grateful for in your life amidst the stress you are feeling, or remind yourself of a couple of things that are working well.
Let's give it all a go together. Pause, count to 5. Breathe, one big and really slow breath in, and let it go. And now tell yourself what you a grateful for in this moment.
Well done! Be aware of how you feel now and if it is any different from before. Is your mind more at ease? Do you feel more present? Is there less tension? Just be aware and then move on with what's next in your day.
Stress Buster Application: Take several doses a day, with or without meals.
Known side effects: Increased happiness and wellbeing.
For a more in-depth understanding of stress and more ways to bust it, download my free comprehensive Stress Buster Guide for High Achievers: 10 Ways to Eliminate Stress Without Hurting Performance. You can find it here: https://mikal.nz/stress-buster-guide.
If you want to dive deeper into this and have specific personal aspects, you would like to discuss them. Then, I offer BRAINZ readers a complimentary 20-30 minutes Discovery Call. You can use this link to book a time that suits you.
Thank you for reading to the end, another high achievement.
Happy Stress Bustering!
Mikal Nielsen, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Mikal's mission is to help high achievers awaken their natural wisdom to create profound fulfillment, deep peace of mind, and a perfect balance between everything truly important to them.
With a corporate background and starting and running 3 businesses, Mikal has spent the last 14 years coaching business founders, owners, and leaders to get more life out of life and more business out of business.
He is a mind mechanic with 35 years of experience in mindfulness, personal and spiritual growth, and 30 years of experience coaching others in these fields.
Mikal is an international speaker, certified firewalking coach, author of 5 books, and creator of Modern Meditation for busy people.
In addition to coaching entrepreneurs and business leaders, Mikal and his wife Kathy offer relationship coaching. With 30 years of living together and growing up with 3 children, they have learned and experienced a lot and have co-authored a book about their journey together.
Seeing how many relationships are struggling or have gone stagnant, they have decided to offer couples coaching.
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