Written by: Amritha Kailas, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Most of us obey traffic rules when we are on the road to prevent accidents with other vehicles. However, how often do we follow rules of communication to avoid verbal accidents in our workplaces or homes?
Each of us in this world is unique and has a unique path in our life. We are all travelling to different destinations. What will happen, when we don’t pay attention to our own thoughts which are the signals from the outside world, ignore them and move on. We end up in a collision. We all go through good and bad thoughts in our everyday life. It’s only when we become aware of our thoughts as we would at a traffic signal that we will be able to act consciously without causing harm to us or others around us.
Words are tools that are provided to us in the world to communicate with other fellow beings. Words originate from our thoughts and carry emotions. Thoughts carry energy and this energy gets transferred into our emotions and words. When we think negatively, we create negative energy. However, we pay very little attention to the words that we use in our conversation especially at home or the workplace. Why do we have to pay attention to our own words?
Each word that we put out into the world is an expression of our own self. Sometimes we unconsciously throw out negative words to another person thinking it would hurt them or harm them. However, as we all have heard according to Newton’s third law, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So every negative thought that is transmitted out to someone actually harms us and not the other person . Let’s take an example of us getting angry and shouting at someone using rude words. Based on the emotional intelligence of the other person listening to us they may feel upset or not. However, the rude/bad words that originate from us have the negative emotion of “Anger” which produces toxic chemicals in our body and then transmits toxicity to every organ in our body thereby creating negativity within us. This eventually leads to severe physical illness and can result in chronic diseases.
Having understood this connection, what can we do?
Today I am going to share with you a simple technique that would help you respond rather than react to situations. There are 3 stages in this technique
The first stage is called preparation
Preparation — This stage involves preparing your mindset during the communication process. The steps in the preparation process are
Stop — In this step, take a moment to stop judgement and reaction. You can use any kind of reminder that will help you to stop before you say anything out.
Pause — Pause for a moment by imagining you are stepping back one step using breathing or counting exercise.
The next stage is called planning
Planning — In this stage, imagine you are wearing your thinking hat and ask questions to yourself using the below questions
Who am I talking to?
What is the final outcome that I am looking for from this conversation?
Where am I talking?
Is this the best time for me to talk?
Why do I think I need to talk? Will it help the final outcome?
The last stage is execution
Execution — In the execution stage, use the answers from planning to craft a message that is intended to be communicated in the most suitable manner towards the other party/parties involved in the communication process.
Please note as with any skill, mastering this technique requires practice. There will be many times you might fail but the idea is to never give up and keep practising until it becomes an automatic muscle that works in favour of you.
We cannot prevent all the negativity that is happening around us. However, if we are conscious about our thoughts, words and actions, we can absolutely prevent creating negativity and ultimately destroying ourselves.
“You can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it.” — Mahatma Gandhi
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Amritha Kailas, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Amritha is a Jay Shetty Certified Life and Success Coach who specializes in Emotional Wellness and Transformation Coaching. Through her online school Samsarga, she offers guidance, training and support to empower women who have gone through toxic relationships and lost their true identity to rise above self-doubt and become self-reliant . Her coaching services have been featured on online magazines – NewYork weekly, CEO Weekly, Influencer daily, Kivo daily and Disrupt. She is also the host of the talk show “ The Peace Bridge “ on Voice America, a Mentor on Wisdom, a Usui Certified Reiki Master, a Speaker, Udemy Sanskrit instructor with over 10,000 students across 142 countries.
