Written by Karlissa Wise, Clinical Social Worker
Dr. Karlissa Wise is a Clinical Social Worker who works with individuals who struggle with anxiety, depression, and life transitions.
Let’s face it: breakups are not fun. Breakups can trigger various emotions and thoughts that can be uncomfortable. Some people get over a breakup rather quickly, while others take more time. Deciding when you are ready to move on can be challenging. You may wonder if you are truly ready to be in a new relationship. Here are three signs that you may not be ready to transition into a new connection.
General statements
After a breakup, do you find yourself making general statements? One example of a general statement is, “Men do not know how to communicate.” Another example is, “Women cannot be trusted.” If you are making these general statements, chances are you should not transition into a new relationship.
Making broad statements is a sign that you are still hurting from situations that transpired within your previous relationship. It is also a sign that you may not be open to giving the next person a fair chance because you will enter the relationship with preconceived notions based on your past experiences. As a result, you may sabotage the connection before it starts. If you find yourself making general statements, give yourself time to heal before moving into a new relationship.
Grieving the loss in a relationship
The ending of a relationship can be upsetting. If you find that you are still grieving the loss of your previous relationship, it is a sign to wait before moving into a new one. A few signs that you are still grieving your past relationship include constantly speaking about your past partner in conversations, being angry that the relationship is over, or experiencing depression based on things that occurred within the relationship. Keep in mind that grief can look different for everyone, and grieving is a natural part of the process of loss. Although grieving is part of the process, it is important to process your emotions first. You can process your emotions by writing in a journal, speaking with a therapist, or simply acknowledging how you feel.
Lack of self-awareness
Before moving forward into a new relationship, it is important to reflect on past relationship patterns. Identifying these patterns can help prevent you from experiencing similar issues in a new relationship. For example, do you notice that each partner you have dated has anger issues? What signs might you have missed early on that could have made you aware of this? While reflecting on patterns, it is also essential to identify your own challenges in relationships. Do you find that you lack communication skills, or do you tend to blame others for things you should take accountability for? Acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses is vital before transitioning into a new relationship. If you find that you lack self-awareness, try speaking with a therapist.
If you are finding it difficult to process a breakup, you are not alone. There are resources available to help. Seek therapy to process your emotions, explore relationship patterns, and find coping strategies to manage difficult feelings. Using your support system is another way to help you move forward. Additionally, creating a new self-care plan and keeping a journal can be helpful. Do not be afraid to wait before moving on. Entering your next relationship healed will prove to be beneficial for building a stronger connection.
Read more from Karlissa Wise
Karlissa Wise, Clinical Social Worker
Dr. Karlissa Wise is a Clinical Social Worker who works with individuals and couples in therapy. Dr. Wise is the founder of Wise Counseling & Consultation, LLC. Wise Counseling & Consultation focuses on providing clients with coping strategies to manage stress and different life challenges. Her goal is to continue helping others in need of mental health services.
