Written by: Daniel Mangena, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
If like me you’re in your 30s/40s, striving hard to make your mark on the world, raise a family, and really cement who you are: I bet your day looks pretty full!
It’s easy to think, as we emerge from a locked-down world, that we’re all struggling to find enough to do. That’s no doubt true for a lot of folks, and God willing they’ll be back on their feet in no time. But for a great deal of us; life has never been busier!
Whether this is because of some kind of sudden release of pent-up opportunity, that has been concertinaed together thanks to the pandemic: who knows? It could well be.
In any event, becoming a new father has also shown me just how little time I have! Kids are the wild card that keeps on showing us just how futile our plans are.
This is, of course, a good thing! They remind us what life is all about and encourage us to grow into a more resourceful version of ourselves. The danger though, is that we can easily slip into a mindset of scarcity when it comes to time for ourselves.
If you run a business and/or have young kids, you know what I’m talking about here. Every available moment is dedicated to someone else. You simply do not have ten minutes for yourself, because there are others depending on you!
Here’s the thing though: we have to be in service, to be of service.
Spreading yourself so thin to the point of destruction is not helping anyone. Pretty soon you’ll be irascible towards those around you, with little patience for perceived time-wasting distractions. You won’t have the energy to give 100% to any one thing and therefore won’t be the best at anything.
None of this is to judge you, or make you feel like a ‘bad person’ for winding up like this. Quite the contrary; you’ve taken the path of service to others.
Totally commendable!
The simple truth though is that in order to be of maximum service to others, you need to be the most powerful, well-resourced, and energetic version of yourself that you can be. Ten double espressos ain’t gonna cut it. You need to make time for yourself. It’s as important as making sure that you have a computer that works, a desk to sit at, and clients to work for.
In order to encourage you to place greater value on taking time out for yourself, here are three very good reasons. Consider them a business case if that makes it easier for you, but please be sure to take them on board!
1. Alignment
This perhaps sounds like a ‘woo woo’ term, but before you dismiss it as such; let me explain.
We can talk about the alignment of your heart center, your chakras, the universe, etc… Those are all valid things to consider and I would certainly encourage you to keep those in mind, but for the more ‘down-to-Earth’ around you; we’ll save those for now.
Alignment is really about remaining connected to your goals, both emotionally and operationally.
It is so easy (especially with kids running round) to get side-tracked through the course of your day. If you think of how many interruptions you have on a daily basis, that sap your time and divert your attention; I’m sure you can imagine just how off-course you can be by the end of the day!
Having the space to stop, check in with yourself and restore alignment is critical in executing your intentions. Even if every few hours you remember to just take a couple of minutes to sit, focus on your breathing, and bring your attention back to the present.
The present moment is all that is real after all. The past is gone and the future is infinitely possible. The present is the only place from which we can create anything - so make sure you get back to it!
2. You Need Time For Self-Improvement
I don’t care what anyone says: self-improvement is vital to our growth as humans.
I invest significant amounts of money in mine, but you don’t have to! This is the beautiful thing: there are SO many resources out there full of free advice and useful content. Even if they just help you to get started with something, they are worth checking out.
Thing is - you need to give these self-improvement courses/podcasts/techniques the time they require, in order to realize their benefits of them.
Otherwise, what’s the point?
Maybe you’ve invested in such things in the past, only to abandon them as ‘unworkable nonsense’ once life started getting in the way. The trouble is: you’ll never really know if that was the case or not.
Without sparing the time for self-improvement, the value you offer the world will diminish. Think of it like inflation: simply stuffing your money under a mattress means that you slowly lose value. Your skillset and personal value are no different!
Making time to level-up is just good business, so invest your time in it!
3. Self-Love
Self-love is one of those sticky subjects, that people often grapple with. What does it even mean?
Some people dismiss it as being akin to self-absorption or selfishness. That’s not what this is about.
You need to be able to show yourself love, true love, before you can give it to others. You also won’t be able to receive it from others. Not that they won’t love you, but you’ll struggle to recognize it when they do.
Love also carries with it a frequency. Again: lest you think I’m getting ‘woo woo’ again - this is actually backed by science. It is a coherent frequency, which consumes incoherent ones like negative feelings towards ourselves.
Ok, don’t trust me, trust the amazing folks over at Heart Speak. Their research has uncovered incredible truths about how we heal ourselves. Some of you may have heard my podcast with the fantastically insightful Dr. Anne Jensen. If not, I encourage you to do so by clicking here.
By sending yourself love, you are doing the work of shifting those disempowering, incoherent frequencies. But you need time to do it! this is why I make sure that at least once a month, I give myself a ‘VIP day’.
As you can probably imagine; this involves taking a day, just for me, where I indulge in a pampering. Whether it’s getting spa treatment, eating my lunch somewhere fancy, taking a walk on the beach… it doesn’t matter.
The point is that I am showing myself just how important I am to me. It’s a reminder that all of the hard work and sacrifice, isn’t just about everyone else.
In summary, taking time for yourself is not just some self-help, affirming claptrap. There is a real business case to be made for it. When the pressure is mounting and things are coming at you from all directions, remember that you have absolute dominion over your life.
It’s all yours! If people want your time/advice/resources then they need to get in line.
Don’t fall on your sword thinking that it’s the right thing to do. It never is.
Daniel Mangena, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dan Mangena is a best-selling author, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and public speaker. Recently named in the Wall St Journal as a "Master of Success," he is completely self-made and has spent decades perfecting his world-class coaching methodology. His books, podcasts, events & retreats continue to help captains-of-industry and private individuals alike live an abundant, joyful, purpose-driven life. He offers many unique and effective free tools via his website.
