Written by: Sonia Ovenden, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When you reflect on the decisions you’ve made, what feelings come up? Do you lean towards success and relief? Or are you consumed by anxiety and confusion?
What we often forget is that decisions are an everyday occurrence, though unless they are tough or huge, many go by unnoticed. And what’s even more compelling is that research shows that as humans we tend remember negative experiences better than positive ones.
The truth is, we don’t get to choose to decide! In making, or seemingly not making a decision, that, in itself, is one. Think about it. We decide to brush our teeth in the morning, what to wear, or even whether to roll over and have a duvet day. Decisions are all around us and some will take little thought, and others appear so huge, we don’t know which way to turn. And, when a decision is almost too big to make, it stops us in our tracks.
Consider for a moment; we cannot make a decision in the future. If we decide to start a diet next week or quit jobs when we have enough money in the bank it’s still not a decision or commitment. Without the firm decision being taken, it’s merely a consideration.
Deciding is a fundamental step to create the results we would love in our lives.
Many successful people believe that paring back on the number of decisions they consciously need to work on in any twenty-four hours, helps to free up time and energy to focus on the more important decisions. For example, Steve Jobs became synonymous with the black turtleneck, while you will only see Barack Obama in grey or blue suits. In creating routines and habits with the smaller decisions, they create space to focus elsewhere.
That said, as we know, many decisions aren’t as straight forward. Martin Luther King once said, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase to take the first step.” And in deciding to take that first step we have begun the journey. Without a firm decision, no new path, or process, can commence.
So, how do we know what’s the right decision for us?
Some people want to know every step of the way before deciding. They want to know every finite detail as to how everything will work and more importantly that everything will work out fine.
The KEY is that you make a firm decision for what you want BEFORE you will bring things into reality. All it takes is the willingness to decide.
Initially, let’s notice what we know in the moments we consider making a decision. We all have an internal compass, some may call it “wisdom”, or “gut feel”, others may call it “intuition” but whatever label we want to give it, it is there in all of us. So, when we ask ourselves, “should I do xyz?” pay attention to your internal compass. Does it feel light or heavy? Does it feel contractive or expansive? Does it feel exciting?
When we focus on these emotions, could fear be creeping in? Despite numerous people trying to eliminate fear from their lives, the reality is that fear is a natural reaction to certain conditions and will always be present to some degree. Fear of the unknown, of the lack of certainty, of change, and the list goes on. But in these moments, we have a choice … do we have fear, or does fear have us?
For example, what happens if I sign up with a coach and I still don’t see the results I would love? Or what happens if this is a waste of money?
When you decide for something it’s the first step to move forwards, without it you maintain the status quo. Choosing to grow through fear and take a decision will help accelerate the results in your life.
So, when you’re in the process of deciding, the real question is, “Is the decision worthy of you?” You are going to invest your time and energy into something, and you’ll want to be sure it is worthy of you, so as part of deciding for something, you get to challenge it.
Here are 3 questions to evaluate the decision to see if it’s the right one.
1. Does it excite you?
When you think about this decision, does it make you feel brighter? Do you become happy when you think of taking this decision? If a decision makes you feel contracted or even neutral, it’s important to understand why. Without an element of excitement and desire the decision can weigh heavy on you.
2. Does it align with your core values?
Is there any part of the decision that would conflict with your core values? Is it in alignment with what is most important to you? For example, doing something which takes you away from your family, although spending time with family is one of your core principles; or growing your business through social media, though you may want to be a private person.
3. Does it improve things?
What would be better if I do this? What would it cost me if I don’t? Would I regret it, if I don’t do it? What will change if I choose not to do this? Really challenge yourself here. For example, how will you grow your business, if you decide not to use social media? How long will you stay doing what you’re doing without taking this decision?
You want a YES to all three questions before you make your decision.
If there’s a ‘no’ in there somewhere it’s okay! That only means you get to lean into the decision a little more, but not for too long. Ask more clarifying questions and seek answers. Do this until you can answer ‘yes’ to all three.
When you decide either way, it releases a level of confidence in you recognising you’ve made a commitment. Until you take the decision, it is still just an idea. And know, when you make a decision, in the absence of knowing how it will all come together, you’ll experience results, often far greater than you imagined.
Piet Hein’s poem is one of my favourites and sums up the power of our internal compass in decision making.
Whenever you’re called on to make up your mind,
And you’re hampered by not having any,
The best way to solve the dilemma, you’ll find,
Is simply by spinning a penny.
No - not so that chance shall decide the affair,
While you’re passively standing there moping,
But the moment the penny is up in the air,
You suddenly know what you’re hoping.
Sonia Ovenden, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sonia Ovenden, is a Life Mastery Consultant, a Whole Healing Practitioner and a DreamBuilder® Coach who helps people design and manifest a life they truly love living. For over 25 years, Sonia has been studying and implementing transformational success principles, and as a sought-after trainer, author and certified life coach, Sonia’s masterminds, workshops and coaching programs help people breakthrough limitations and achieve greater results than they’ve known before. She is CEO and founder of Discover the Beauty of You LLC and has featured in Forbes, appeared on UK Radio and mentors’ others in their quest to become a coach. She has written her debut novel, and is a contributing author of the international best selling book, “She Did It! … And So Can You!” Sonia inspires and empowers all those that are drawn to her and her overarching mission is: Discover the Beauty of You, unlock your true potential, achieve outrageous success, and live a life you LOVE living!
