Written by: Megan Miller, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It doesn’t have to be January 1st for us humans to want to create new habits and routines; or rather, new ways of interacting with the world. Perhaps you’re looking to move more during the day; perhaps the longer summer days have you wanting more time to spend with your family and less time accidentally hitting “Reply all” to an email.
Whatever new habit you’re looking to explore: learning and getting more confident in a language, moving regularly, or waking up earlier – it can be hard to keep yourself accountable. After all, our brains can be a bit lazy, and they’re really good at staying in the same routine, with the same ol’ habits: like opening a soda every day at lunchtime or turning the TV on each time you flop on the couch.
Tip 1: Use language to identify the sticky points
When you find yourself constantly not doing the thing that you wanted to start doing, it’s important to ask the age-old question of why? What is so difficult about implementing your new habit?
So often, we find ourselves in the “blame and shame” game, instead of zooming out of the problem and examining it as if you’d help a friend. If you find yourself constantly snoozing your alarm and not waking up any earlier, is it an issue with your alarm not being effective? Or is it that the motivation isn’t there? Or is it something more biological, meaning, you need to work on going to bed earlier before trying to get up earlier?
If your goals are less physical and more mental – such as writing a book or creating a business – it can be easy to fall into a procrastination trap and think it’s healthy distraction. (Trust me, I’ve been there. Three baked goods later, you hope the idea will just come to you, like a paper plane hitting you in the face.)
It’s important to recognize procrastination and distraction for what they are: two sides of the same coin. Distraction allows us time away from the problem, like taking a walk, showering, or reading about an unrelated activity. It allows your brain time to rest and your attention to refocus, so you can come back to your issue with fresh eyes.
Procrastination, on the other hand, is when your attention is so diverted, you actually end up avoiding the issue at hand. Your energy levels aren’t replenished, and your brain hasn’t rested. This can look like enrolling in a course, watching TV, or going so far down a rabbit hole, you meet Alice in Wonderland. More recently, there have been some helpful studies on the relationship between procrastination and anxiety, so it's important to recognize what emotions you’re feeling, why, and how to get through your issues to make your goal actually work.
Tip 2: Make it meaningful with your 5 senses
That's right; we're going right back to basic elementary science: what can you see, taste, touch, hear, and smell? Reviewing the five senses are incredibly grounding, and can also be used as triggers to a habit. For example, programming the coffee pot (or asking a member of the household to start it) at a certain time, so that the smell of coffee wakes you up a bit earlier. You can visually trigger a habit by telling yourself it’s time to wind down for bed by using dimmer lighting and having a book or two in a comfortable spot.
So much of habit creation relies on having the environment in a Goldilocks state: just right. If your goals include having a workout habit or something where you’d like to pump yourself up, listening to music with a high beats per minute (bpm) makes it easier – but that habit is reliant on you creating that playlist. Inversely, if you’d like to have a “wind-down” habit, and spend less time starting at a screen late into the night, programming your computer to switch to a nightlight or programming a light to turn off, on, or dim is helpful as a visual cue – and once again, that habit trigger is reliant on you to set that up.
Using our five senses also allows you extra room to play: some of us are more visual and therefore rely on visual cues, like post-it notes or lighting. Others are more kinesthetic, and rely on electronic calendar reminders or physical to-do lists where they can scratch out the task. Others are more auditory, and hearing a certain noise or song will tell their brains, “HEY! It’s time to do the thing!”.
Personally, no matter what my energy levels are, playing a bit of salsa music before practicing Spanish or hosting an event helps put me in the mood. I have a list of favorites, where I can push a button and immediately get an energy boost. Once the preparation is done, the habit is so much easier to implement.
Tip 3: Recognize cognitive distortions for what they are… and follow George Michael’s advice
If the song “Faith” just came into your head, you already know what I’m referring to! It’s hard work to change a habitual action, no matter how long that habit has been followed. In a lot of ways, our brains like to avoid novelty.
For a habit change to truly be successful, there’s a certain amount of preparation that needs to happen – like in Step 2 – as well as some mental gymnastics of zooming out and looking at your issue with more logic than emotion – like in Step 1.
Yet the hardest part of habits, and the reasons why I notice a lot of them fail, is that how we think about changing that habit is just as (or even more so) important than actually doing it. Cognitive distortions play a big role in why habits fail.
For example, black and white thinking (also known as “all or nothing” thinking) can ruin a habit before you even start. Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?
I missed practice today; this week is a failure.
I didn’t do the [insert new habit here] for 3 days; maybe I should call it quits.
I skipped this morning; I’ll never succeed at this.
I’m not cut out for this; I’ll just never be one of those “gym people” [or insert habit identity here].
If you do recognize some of these thoughts, first, give yourself a pat on the back: recognizing cognitive distortions is very difficult, especially when they’re our own. Secondly, give yourself some grace. If you miss a day, that’s OK- the world is not going to end because you didn’t write, or work out, or practice a language, or wake up before 8 am. Try again later or tomorrow.
Building habit muscle is a lot like building muscle in our bodies: it takes time, and consistency pays off. All good things take time, and improving your life – however you’d like to do it – is worth spending time on.
*Please note: Megan and Aprovechar Language Solutions, LLC help with habit creation as it relates to language learning, and do not provide psychological wellness solutions. Please talk to a licensed provider when handling cognitive distortions and mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression, which can make habit creation even more difficult.
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Megan Miller, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Megan Miller is a leader in Spanish <> English teaching and bespoke habit-based language learning. Ever since discovering the worlds beyond words as a child, Megan has dedicated her efforts to mastering Spanish, English, and how to create lasting habits to improve and maintain language skills. She is the CEO of Aprovechar Language Solutions whose mission is to empower those in need of a bilingual voice.
