Written by: Anna Krzysztoszek, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We tend to think frustration, unpleasant events, and challenging feelings are something mainly undesirable and difficult. However, our mind gives us more than one way to create a learning experience. We can learn by analyzing options and scenarios in our headspace and by having a closer look at frustrating, challenging experiences we face. The work environment is usually one of the most common sources of frustration we face. Here are some inspirations on how we can start to make a change in how we manage unpleasant situations and feelings.
1. Capture the exact source of frustration
Our 3 basic reactions to stressful events are fight, flight, and freeze. After the first unpleasant feeling is weakened, it is worth having a closer look a the exact source of our discomfort. During a coaching session work-related stress tends to cumulate into one big, black ball and it can take a while to unwind it and analyze all the pieces of the puzzle. Try to identify as precisely as possible who and what is the biggest source of discomfort. Is it just the supervisor or also the work you are doing and the tight deadlines? Be as specific as possible in realizing the details standing behind the discomfort and write them down on a piece of paper if it helps to make it even more clear.
2. Make a deep dive into the source of frustration
After the above-mentioned first point, it is now time for even more specific questions. If the main source of your frustration is the tight deadlines, how in which phase of the project or business process do the deadlines become unrealistic and tight? How the correct process should like? If the main source of frustration is your supervisor, what exactly is unbearable in his or her behavior? Make it as specific as possible.
3. Turn your findings into the opposite
In this last stage of creating a learning and growth-triggering experience, define the opposite of whatever was upsetting you in the past. Give it a name. Were some processes in the past not working properly so it led to too tight, stressful deadlines? How about asking in the next job interview about how many sprints exactly are planned in each phase of the project? Was your supervisor disrespectful? How about paying extra attention to signs and expressions of friendliness and empathy in the next job interview? And so on.
Unpleasant feelings like frustration carry an important message. To decode it is a skill that can be trained, so the experience is not wasted and does not have to be repeated. Find a healthy balance between accepting frustration or mistakes as a part of life and avoiding repeating the same once too often. As Albert Einstein said: “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new” but on the other hand “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results”.
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Anna Krzysztoszek, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Anna Krzysztoszek has more than 20 years of international experience in business ‒ from large corporations to start-ups. She is the owner of Green Butterfly ‒ Coaching & Recruiting. The completion of her German and Dutch studies, her pedagogical education, the certificate of a Psychological Advisor and various business degrees, such as Master of Business Administration (MBA), reflect Anna's main focus and passion: combining her economical expertise with the always present interest in people and the art of making the best of our lives. This especially applies to professional matters ‒ after all, we spend a third of our life at our workplace.
