Written by: Daniel Mangena, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
If you want to turn your fortunes around, there is really only one person standing in your way…you! But do we really know or understand the ways in which we sabotage ourselves? Here are three limiting beliefs that you may well have, but don’t realize it.
Before we delve into this short but substantive list; it is probably wise to explain what I mean by “limiting beliefs” and why they’re so important. Your belief systems are the gateway to possibility. They dictate what is and is not allowed to happen for you.
Now, this is not to say that unpredicted things can’t happen, or that you have to believe something is possible in order for it to happen. But if you don’t believe something is possible for you then it won’t. Why? Because you won’t take any action on behalf of that outcome. You won’t even look for the signs of it happening.
So many people come to me as clients, frustrated that they can’t get into a flow with making money. They want desperately to become abundant people, but can not find that sustained path of growth. They’ve usually had flourishes of wealth creation, or the odd windfall, but they can’t sustain a life of that.
It’s because, lodged somewhere deep in their subconscious: they don’t believe that it’s possible for them.
We’ve all been fed a story about our lot in life, ever since we were babies! Maybe your parents told you that you could be anything you wanted, or perhaps they insisted that you get a ‘real job’. Whatever the case may be, no doubt motivated by good intentions; they have filled your head with a narrative around money.
It doesn’t just stop with our parents though. Society, especially in the West, is full of attitudes, narratives and sayings about money. Until now, we’ve been largely unwitting participants in collective agreements, that have led to whatever financial situation we find ourselves in. I hope that this article will help open your mind to the possibility of changing those agreements for yourself, and step into whatever financial reality you choose.
1. “Money Can’t Buy You Happiness” & “The Best Things in Life Are Free”.
OK I know that’s two, and they’re don’t mean exactly the same thing, but semantically I think they’re targeting a common sentiment: the pursuit of money is a means, not an end in itself.
What these sayings also do (and this is a trend) is seek to entangle morality with money. The obvious implication with both phrases is that the recipient should cease his/her pursuit of money, because it is not going to bring them true happiness.
Moreover: the further implication is that to continue to seek financial abundance, having been furnished with this perl of wisdom, would be to knowingly engage in damaging and unedifying behaviour.
The prevalence of these two sayings alone probably accounts for a measurable drop in GDP!
Now I know that probably most of the time, these sayings are used as a salve. When a venture hasn’t gone somebody’s way, they’re usually trotted out by well-wishers as a means to lessen the impact. They don’t intend, necessarily, to accuse anyone of immoral behaviour, but the implication is there.
We see this play out in a myriad of ways, especially in an age of social media. We have all become ‘media savvy’ and taken on the role of being our own press office. Social media now requires that we not only exist in a hierarchy, but by its very nature; we have to publicise it. What good is our wealth or our morality, if it exists purely in our head?
We must (to borrow a lamentable modern verb) ‘platform’ ourselves. Everyone has a platform, some with greater ‘presence’ (another victim of modern phraseology) than others and that is how we organise ourselves in terms of our hierarchical worth. We display wealth, while decrying it’s acquisition. We promote ‘healthy lifestyles’ that doesn’t prioritise material wealth, in order to get clicks and earn…material wealth.
With that in mind, how can we make sense of the still prevailing notion that “money can’t buy you happiness” and “the best things in life are free”?
We can proclaim that from our $1,000 iPhones against a backdrop of an idyllic beach hut, or from behind the wheel of our Lambo…but it has set up a society who, fiscally at least, is lying to itself!
This is unsustainable, unfounded, misguided and responsible for a great deal of cognitive dissonance. Let me be clear: seeking to improve your finances and to be a wealthy person is not immoral. Money is just a facilitator. It holds no moral value nor is it sentient. It can not buy you anything, you have to do that using money (or some form of exchange). The mere acquisition of money might make you happy. If so: fine. Odds are though, it isn’t actually that but more the feeling you associate with being financially free, or secure.
In this context, these phrases hold some water, in that positive emotions elicited by money are usually more as a result of what the money can do for you. But money isn’t totally disassociated from that experience.
All action comes down to intent. Yes, I’m sure there are those miserable rich people who horde their wealth, Scrooge-like in their ivory towers. Most people who become wealthy however, do so because they are pursuing an intention of service. Becoming wealthy is a byproduct, but that’s only because of the shear value they’ve provided to so many others.
2. “Waste not, want not”
This is a confounding saying, not least because it encourages a mindset of ‘lack’ rather than ‘abundance’. It doesn’t even notionally make sense. By putting all of your energy, time and focus into consuming as little of everything as possible (to the point that it never runs out no less) you will simply be living a life of penury. Far from a life of expansion and progress!
To be clear: I’m not encouraging wanton or excessive wastefulness. It’s important to audit just how much you do have at your disposal, because many of us are sat on capital that we don’t even know we have! Nevertheless, your life is precious and your time is extremely valuable. Don’t waste it trying to eke out another week from your toothpaste, or sit in an under-heated or under-cooled house just because it will save you an extra $50 each month.
That’s not expansive. It’s encouraging you to be contractive, if anything, and it could well account for a lack of progress towards your goals.
Just as with number one in this list, this saying comes with a healthy dose of moralising. The implication is that any degree of wastefulness on your part, should be met by some kind of penalty. That if you ‘waste’ you should be penalised by ‘wanting’ for something that you truly need.
By eschewing the notion that you should try to indefinitely preserve every resource you have, and instead focus your efforts on maximising your most productive practices: you will want for nothing anyway!
2. “Money is the root of all evil”
OK, this is a big one. I think it can be misunderstood when conveyed verbally, and even though we’re communicating in writing here, I think it’s important to stress that it is “root” not “route”.
What this phrase is effectively saying is that all evil stems from money. That’s a heck of a statement to make. It’s also a bastardisation of (I Timothy 6:10) “The love of money is the root of all evil.” Though frankly, that’s not much better either.
To claim that all, literally all, evil can be traced back to money or the love thereof is ridiculous. It’s especially ridiculous for the bible to make that claim, when the very same book talks about the evils of the serpent in the garden of Eden, long before money was even a thing!
I suppose one could make the claim that, since the conception of currency, money has become the root of all evil…but that’s a stretch.
The legitimacy of this claim aside however, it is important to consider how much damage it does to our relationship to money. Yup, I said “relationship to money.” No, I haven’t gone nuts and started personifying inanimate objects. You do have a relationship to money. Not with money necessarily, but you relate to money in a unique way and this informs your belief systems.
Think about how you feel when you check your bank balance, as an example. Most likely this is on a banking app these days, but think of the emotional charge that hovering over the ‘button’ on your screen holds for you. It could be that you’re overjoyed and can’t wait to see just how much you have in there. I suspect though, as is the case for most Americans and westerners more broadly: you feel something more akin to anxiety.
This is not to paint a picture of penury, nor to claim any kind of poverty-stricken victimhood for those of us fortunate enough to live in the West. The stark reality is though: most of us do not have a good relationship with money.
41% of people in my country of origin (The UK) do not have enough saved, in order to pay for a month of outgoings. Perhaps more shockingly, in the land of opportunity, The USA; a staggering 70% of Americans have less than $1,000 stashed away in their bank accounts.
These statistics may be mitigated to one degree or another by looking more closely at other factors (age, disability etc…) but they nevertheless paint a stark picture of how most people relate to money. Given that the vast majority of us earn money through employment, it seems clear to me that this lack of ‘rainy-day’ funds is in large part due to a pathology that says: “I need permission to have money.”
If we are spending every penny that we earn, leaving nothing in the pot each month, we are in effect allowing employers to define our worth. There is a widespread belief that our annual salary dictates our value, and that we have little to no agency in affecting that. Presumably other than: working harder and hoping for a promotion.
Yes of course: inflation drives down wages in real terms. We’re certainly seeing a lot of that right now. But we tend to assume that we remain at the mercy of what someone else is willing to pay us. Why? Because the alternative requires education, hard work, connections…?
The simple fact is that it is absolutely within your ability to obtain whatever financial life for yourself that you want to. It does, however, require you to accept full responsibility for your current situation and the necessary work in order to change it.
So my advice to you is to take stock of the things you tell yourself about money. Really nail down what your relationship to money is. It may sound silly, but writing a ‘love letter’ to money, is a great way to understand how you feel emotionally about it.
Armed with this knowledge, you can begin the work of changing that relationship and the beliefs that you hold. As you begin to see evidence of a new financial future for yourself, you’ll exponentially increase the amount of money you’re able to possess.
Not “earn” ‒ possess.
Daniel Mangena, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dan Mangena is a best-selling author, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and public speaker. Recently named in the Wall St Journal as a "Master of Success," he is completely self-made and has spent decades perfecting his world-class coaching methodology. His books, podcasts, events & retreats continue to help captains-of-industry and private individuals alike live an abundant, joyful, purpose-driven life. He offers many unique and effective free tools via his website.
