Written by: Pia Antico, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It is that time of year again, when the Christmas/New Year movies of loving families & holiday romances are now in full swing, flogging the myth of togetherness being the pinnacle of the human experience.
The supermarkets are filling up with family Christmas fare, gifts for small children & not so subtle hints toward creating romantic Christmas breakfasts for the increasing numbers of childless couples, strategically positioned in the gourmet produce isles. It's enough to make a slightly cynical single empty nester over 40 want to slip into a Grinch costume! Unfortunately, many of my over 40 single soul sisters are buying into the messaging that the only worthy Christmas state is being in a family with kids opening gifts under the tree or playing 'naughty elves' in a Christmas coupledom; and that being alone for the holidays is to be avoided at all costs. I've been divorced twice, so I know what it is to fall down the rabbit hole of doubting my lovability & tying my worth to the validation of having a partner.
No longer waking up early Christmas morning to the sound of raucous ripping of Christmas gifts by eager kiddies, doesn't have to be equated to the deafening silence of loneliness Well, I am here to give voice to the idea of being over 40 & WHOLEY SINGLE rather than single by default. You are fully loveable without being loved by someone else! News flash! If you don't love yourself then you won't be able to recognize & receive love from the Universe or other people. So this Holiday Season how about we fill our own Santa sacks & gift ourselves with love! Here are 3 key tips to loving yourself these Holidays & everyday after:
1. Ditch your regrets
We are single empty nester women over 40 there's no doubt that we've made some decisions along the way that did not work out so well. I know for myself, the hardest regrets to let go of were the times I ignored my inner voice & instead followed the 'musts & shoulds' in my head. But here's the thing all those mistaken decisions were based on an innocent misunderstanding of where my feelings really came from. Just like you, I believed that the events & people in my life were making me sad, mad, scared & frustrated.
And naturally, if we think our OKness is from the outside then we are going to say & do anything and everything to try and fix those things we think our causing the feelings we don't want. Or, on the flip side chase after & try and hold onto those things we believe are making us happy. After all that's what all the movies, music & books would have us believe ‒ that people & things create our experience. So it is a commonly held innocent misunderstanding & we all did the best we could in that context. But, now you know that you don't have to wrestle the whole world out there to feel OK. You are already completely OK & always were. Be kind to yourself & embrace the imperfection that is being human. It is not about trying to achieve the perfect experience of your life but rather realising that you are totally OK no matter the situation or your passing response to it.
2. Follow your inner bliss
Did you know that You are not your thoughts but rather You are the dynamic, bliss-filled space between thoughts. We are all energy beings in physical bodies having human experiences & our factory default setting is the same joy of the limitless Universe/Source We don't need to chase people & circumstances for happiness ‒ in truth they can't make us feel anything except that we think it. But here is the best news it's not happy thinking that makes us happy, we don't have to try to analyse & change what we are thinking or understand why. In fact, that only takes us further away from accessing the true source of our joy. It is when we shift our Awareness from the chatter in our heads & just let it ebb & flow naturally that we get to glimpse into the spaces between thinking, allowing ourselves to rest there enveloped by the radiant potential of the present moment free of past thinking, future worries & labels of self. Now that is pure bliss! And without forcing anything, we will notice the inkling of 'good ideas' arise from this space & nudge us into aligned action following the signals of our inner joy compass.
Where is your joy compass pointing you toward?
3. Appreciate your awesomeness
Many of us would have heard about the benefits of being grateful for all the good in your life; and there is no doubt this is great advice. How can you be happy if you are not thankful?
But, there can be a shadow side to thankfulness if we believe we 'should' be thankful &/or if we are struggling to see the good in the first place.
What I have come to realize that appreciation is not just for the outwardly 'good stuff,' but On reflection I have come to appreciate that those tough times were ultimately beneficial too.
The only point of looking back is to see how far you have come; and let's be real us single empty nester women over 40 have come along way through some rocky terrain to get here.
We are still standing (maybe not in high heels anymore) & possibly in search of a wall to lean against...
But we are above ground with plenty of wisdom fuel in us to propel us forward into lives of freedom & fun we have yet to imagine.
Look in the mirror (put your glasses on first to see clearer)
Smile at yourself
&
Give yourself 3 Cheers!
You are awesome!
Not because of, or despite the life you've lived thus far...
... but simply because that is your divine spark
You are a vessel for Universal love to flow through & around you. Your existence is a miracle! How would you like to show up for yourself these Holidays knowing this fact? Grab my Christmas Gift to you “How to stay sane in the Silly Season” masterclass that will help you not let others get on your gobbler.
Pia Antico, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
In the middle of a storm, it is possible to find peace & strength when we tap into our innate Spirit-led wisdom and step heartfully into the present moment.” ‒ Pia Antico
Pia Antico is the Founder of Essential Awakening Mentoring, a Crone Life Joy Reboot Mentor/Coach/Trainer, International Public Speaker & Best Selling Author.
She intuitively helps single, empty nester, businesswomen over 40 ditch their regrets, live unapologetically, age disgracefully & quit being an unwilling bystander in their lives. Without getting stuck rehashing, analyzing & reframing trauma stories.
Embodying her unique 6 steps AWAKEN the joy within©️ framework helps them to free themselves from limiting beliefs & create lives of fun through trusting the guidance of their carefree Higher Self Wisdom.
Pia holds three degrees in Psychology, Counseling Training, and Certification in the 3 Principles Paradigm & she brings into coaching a wealth of insights gained from a litany of growth experiences.
At 49, she is a 'three near deaths before 30, two abusive marriages, & major head injury life rebuilder' whose mission is to help single, empty nester businesswomen over 40 to effortlessly get past their darkest moments by tapping into their innate well-being.
So that they can shine the light of their radiant, joyful wisdom & step into their dreamed-of future.
Pia wants single empty nester women over 40 to know in their bones that their past doesn't predict their future & now is the time to dream big.
