Written by: Leslie Bosch, PhD, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Almost every day we find the need to influence someone to do something. Bosses need to influence employees to do the best job they can. Parents need to influence children to obey. Even children try to influence parents to get what they want!
Influencing others is a skill that can be learned and developed into an art form. Here are some easy techniques to help you develop your influence.
Know what you want to influence someone to do. It’s the first thing you need to realize, exactly what it is you really want someone to do or say or feel.
Hypnotize them. Not literally, but through your charm. People want to please someone they admire and respect.
Pay them. It’s the easiest and most straightforward way to get someone to do what you want. It can get expensive after a while but you won’t have to worry about negotiations.
Reason with them. Explain your position. You can’t expect someone to follow your viewpoint if they don’t know what it is.
Compromise. Getting someone to do what you want often involves communication and negotiation. Take the "I'll scratch your back and you scratch mine" approach.
Communicate. Communication is key in influencing others. Clear and effective communication will lead others to follow your viewpoint.
Be passionate! If you have a passion for what you're saying then you can often persuade others to follow you.
Remain consistent. Changing your viewpoint with every change of the wind will destroy all influence you might develop.
Be knowledgeable. People will often heed the advice of others who are knowledgeable in areas they're not. It's like listening to a doctor’s advice when he tells you how to cure an illness.
Listen. If you want to be able to influence people then you have to be able to listen. Effective listening is part of effective communication, which is essential to influencing those around you.
Be likeable. If you want to influence others, they have to like you. If you show a genuine interest in others and care about them, they usually will.
Show confidence. If you speak with confidence, people will look to you as one who knows what she's talking about. That will make it easier to influence them to see things your way.
Frame your point of view. Use emotionally charged words to persuade people to follow your counsel.
Treat others with respect. You’re more likely to be heard if you're respectful of other people.
Use scarcity. People assign more value to objects and opportunities that come in limited quantities and are more difficult to obtain. Don't try to influence others too often, then when you do, it will be more acceptable.
Brand yourself. People love brand power. If you can brand yourself as an expert others will spread the word about you and recruit more followers who want to learn from you. That's influence.
State your point from the other's point of view. Show that your point of view in another light reflects their beliefs.
Be socially acceptable. People like social cues as to how to behave and what to believe. Discuss your viewpoint from a socially acceptable point of view.
Admit your mistakes. If you're wrong, admit it. People will remember you as being fair and not afraid to be wrong at times.
Highlight what you have in common. Find a thread of common interest and build from there.
Practice. Any chance you get, practice the technique of persuasion. Practice does make perfect. It really works!
Research. Research facts and arguments to prove your point of view.
Be positive. Influence others with a sunny disposition and bring them hope.
Get endorsements. People love to follow the trends set by celebrities. Get someone notable to endorse you and you’re sure to influence the masses.
Ask. It may seem silly, but sometimes just asking someone to do what you want can get them to do it. Just make sure you say "please" and "thank you."
Influencing others requires a combination of several people skills that can be learned and will improve with practice. Respecting other people and communicating with honesty, integrity and passion will help you become a master at influencing others.
Leslie Bosch, PhD, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Leslie Bosch, PhD, is a developmental psychologist specializing in leadership development, stress management, and life-work balance. Before Dr. Leslie started her own business, like many Americans, she was working long hours in a very demanding job. Unfortunately, she was also mismanaging her health and wellness. She didn't realize it at the time, but Dr. Leslie was unwittingly trading her well-being, health, and personal relationships for career success. When Dr. Leslie experienced burnout, she decided to turn things around! Since then, Dr. Leslie has dedicated her life to helping high-achieving men and women strike a healthy life-work balance. Dr. Leslie is the founder of Bosch Integrative Wellness.
