Written by: Karen Stallard, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The New Year is that time when we often think about changing those bad habits we keep repeating, but in this article I want us to think about a deeper level of personal change as we launch ourselves into another year.
Thinking outside the box generally refers to creativity and problem solving, but perhaps 2022 could be the year for you to think beyond the cultural and familial norms that you have taken on for yourself. Just as an artist strives to create something interesting and expressive, we also have the option of climbing out of our own identity boxes to experience a different way of being in the world.
The LGBTQIA community are progressive leaders, they have paved the way to demonstrate how a person may think outside the framework society places on them. It takes courage to imagine something different for ourselves and a whole lot more to make the internal and external changes necessary to climb out of the box completely. I have a huge amount of respect for those who have fought for liberation of self; personal journeys of this nature are really difficult to do even in the most inclusive of societies.
As 2022 begins, I wonder what you might aspire to break away from in order to live your life to its fullest?
Apart from the obvious, 'I must be male/female/heterosexual!, I have listed 12 types of common human boxes and what it might look like to climb out of them. Of course, there are many more, but do any of these feel familiar to you?
I must be perfect - Imagine your imperfection is celebrated,
I must be strong - Imagine your vulnerability is welcomed.
I must please everyone - Imagine you don!t need to worry about everyone else.
I must not be important - Imagine you are a VIP.
I must make you laugh - Imagine its ok to be serious and sad.
I must save everyone - Imagine you are not the saviour.
I must be to blame - Imagine there is no blame only curiosity.
I must be beautiful - Imagine beauty is inevitable.
I must be important - Imagine you are fabulously insignificant.
I must not show anger - Imagine creatively expressing your fury.
I must not be different - Imagine your difference is celebrated.
I must be successful - Imagine it's ok to fail.
If any of the above resonate with you then pause and reflect, imagine life if you were not in that box, then allow yourself to plan an experiment; what would it be like to spend a day exploring a different way of being? How can you do this safely and with people who will encourage your endeavour? Then make it happen!
Of course, there is nothing wrong with any of the boxes we find ourselves in, often they are welcomed and helpful in ’moving us forward’ or keeping us safe in the world, that's why they exist! However, occasionally they may constrain us and prevent us from experiencing a different way of being at important moments in our lives. For example, we want to be able to cry at a funeral, show anger at injustice, rest when we are exhausted and model that ‘difference is delightful' to the younger generation. Most importantly we need to freely fail in order to learn and evolve as a species.
So, take the 2022 challenge, name the box you want to break out from and then imagine and action an experiment where you can experience the world differently for a day or two! You never know it might encourage you to make some longer-term changes for the better.
Embrace 2022 and make it a year of positive change!
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Karen Stallard, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Karen Stallard began her career, having trained in performing arts, working in the theatre. She went on to pursue a spiritual path by training in theology, becoming an ordained Christian minister and working in the inner city for 20 years. Her work included promoting spiritual and cultural care within the British NHS medical system and spending time creating community activities for people experiencing mental distress. Karen went on to work as the minister at Union Chapel, Islington, an award-winning music venue for 8 years where she led the church to become one of the first in the UK to authorise same-sex marriages. Whilst working at Union Chapel she completed training as an Integrative Arts Psychotherapist and now runs a successful private practice. Karen is currently a trainer and supervisor for Trauma-Informed Schools UK and has also created and published a card game, "20 Dreams", a unique game of emotions which is designed specifically to engage the right hemisphere of the brain. Karen is also an artist, musician and beer brewer in her spare time and is passionate about external and internal liberation.
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