Written by: Victoria Baylor, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
With all of the external pressures that women face these days self-care is more mandatory than ever. Last month I wrote about how to change your perspective on it and how to clear space for it. This month I want to discuss how to overcome 2 of the biggest self-care challenges women face: overcoming guilt & not knowing how to start the self-care process. I'll even include 15 quick start ideas to get you going!
One thing I've learned is most women know that they need self-care. They even welcome the idea. But committing to it is where the challenge lies. There is often a lot of mental baggage associated with it. Feelings of prioritizing others or the guilt of taking time for yourself can often so easily outweigh your best intentions.
Another reason why self-care can be challenging for women is that oftentimes it's assumed that it should come naturally. The same is said for breastfeeding. And as I discovered with my child some 14 years ago, not every natural practice comes easy, and most demand some work. The same is true for getting yourself acclimated to the idea and practice of self-care. For many women, focusing on others comes more naturally than focusing on themselves. In an effort to shift your focus and make self-care a permanent change, perhaps taking "baby steps" can be more helpful. Hey, sometimes implementing changes that stick can be hard. And let's not talk about the disappointment of trying to launch big attempts and failing miserably. We, women, need an easier game plan.
Lastly, many women have difficulty engaging in self-care or even attempting to commit to it because of guilt. As a Coach, I've noticed this to be one of the biggest obstacles. As I wrote in last month's issue "Many women push past their energy and time limits due to guilt. Guilt can be so sneaky. It really comes disguised as limiting beliefs that promote the idea that you have to be perfect, never let anyone down, or that "real women wear a superwoman cape" and can get it all done. All such BOLD FACED LIES!!! The last time I checked, you are human, and being human comes with limitations. You shouldn't feel guilty because of them. You can't be all things to all people. I don't know who this is for, but look, you can't always be other people's solutions. They have to find a way to solve their problems and think for themselves. Remember your obligation is to take care of what you can fit on your own plate. " Simply put, you have an obligation to take care of and prioritize yourself.
But despite the challenges, there is light at the end of the tunnel. To push past your self-care challenges it's important to keep your mind centered on the main goal of self-care which is to send yourself the message "You are Important... too". It's not to add another chore to add to your list of things to do. It's not meant to take away from what you do. It's a tangible way of "giving yourself a pat on the back and some love" for working hard and doing a great job. Self-care is the necessary break every woman needs to validate her efforts and prevent burnout.
In order to ensure success, it's important to broaden and customize your definition of self-care. Pedicures and massages aren't the universal signs of self-care. I know women that hate them. As a woman, you need to get strategic about pampering yourself and doing it now. This is not about perfectionism but about giving yourself space and honor. Pay attention to what you like and what makes you feel special. Do more of those things. And as mentioned before start with "baby steps" to get the ball rolling. Here is a list of some non-stressful suggestions. Pick 5 and implement them this week. Hook up with a girlfriend to hold you accountable.
Sneak an extra 10 min. in to read your favorite magazine while in the restroom
On the way home from an errand take 5 minutes to sneak and stop at a lake or look at fancy houses/decorations.
Watch your favorite movie while on the treadmill or elliptical
Splurge and buy a "luxury" creamer for your coffee
Buy a fancy tea and drink it out of a fancy mug
Use 5 minutes when awakening to have a deep breathing exercise
Repeat your affirmations while brushing/combing your hair
After brushing your teeth, stop and sing a favorite verse or 2 of your favorite songs--using your toothbrush as a mic
10 minutes prior to sleeping put on your favorite natural sounds or calming app
Burn a candle or diffuse essential oils
Give yourself a minimum 15-minute break every day
Pick one day a month to take either yourself or a close friend out for lunch
Get your favorite meal or dessert delivered
Instead of going through the drive-thru, take some time to just hang out in your favorite coffee shop
Put your "Do not disturb" sign up and enjoy some uninterrupted time listening to 1-2 of your favorite songs
Create a routine thereafter. Try to have a minimum of 30 minutes a day devoted to self-care to get started and stay consistent. With 168 hours a week, those 3.5 hours will be the best for you. I'm cheering you on! You can do this!
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Victoria Baylor, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Driven by a profound sense to help High-Performing Leaders excel and showcase their Brilliance, Victoria Baylor offers her expertise in the fields of leadership development, mindset growth, and personal branding to help entrepreneurs, professionals, & organizational leaders gain the Clarity + Confidence to get out of their heads and excel in leadership. She is a Certified Mindset & Clarity Coach, NLP Practitioner, TEDx Speaker & 1 Amazon Best Selling Author whose holistic approach to coaching, speaking, and writing helps others accelerate their growth and push past their limitations.
After 15 years in research science, Victoria found her True Calling and purpose in behavioral science when she realized how easy it is for Women to lose their identities to the roles they serve in. She shares her insights & story in her TEDx talk, "You Are Who You Are, Not What You Do". This experience led her to focus on providing Coaching to help entrepreneurial & professionals (men and women) move beyond their mindset blocks and gain the personal brand clarity and strong mindset needed to operate as high-level leaders.
She also offers organizational interventions in the form of trainings, seminars, and/or team building to polish brilliant leaders. She is a writer for multiple publications and a podcast host. She serves on several boards and non-profit organizations. For fun, she enjoys traveling, cooking, and reading. She lives in Savannah Georgia with her husband and 14-year-old daughter, Reilly.
