Penelope Ling is an award-winning solution-focused hypnotherapist specialising in phobias. She founded Penelope Ling Hypnotherapy and is the author of the book Driving me crazy – overcome the fear of driving. She regularly contributes to magazines like Happiful and guests on podcasts and BBC local radio.
Do you ever feel like you’re a failure and it’s not fair everyone else drives around with no issues at all? Like you’re not capable of adulting? You're not alone. Fear of driving, an inability to drive where you want and what you want is becoming more prevalent. But don't worry, there's hope. Here, you will find practical tips to help you understand the problem and find tools to help you feel confident again. Whether you've stopped driving altogether or you just panic on certain roads, these strategies will help some aspect of the problem and get you back in the driving seat of your life again.
What is amaxophobia?
Amaxophobia is a phobia of driving or being in a moving vehicle. where individuals report feeling out of control and potentially dangerous to other drivers, sometimes it can be the result of an accident, other times it’s the drip drip build of stress levels. People experiencing Amaxophobia often make negative predictions about a journey, despite evidence to the contrary. This phobia can lead to giving up driving even on minor roads. Fear of driving can have an impact on an individual's life, including work, family and social lives., The lack of independence can affect a person's ability to self-actualise. But not everyone’s problem is a phobia.
What causes fear of driving?
Fear of driving can be caused by various factors, including the general stress in your life. It can be influenced by upbringing; a family member may not have driven or even passed their test because of the fear. It could be that your job is stressful, and your subconscious mind doesn’t want you to be able to get there – that happened to me. Recognizing these causes can help people deal with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. The bottom line is that it’s not always related to driving, but driving is where the anxiety manifests.
The types of driving anxiety
Common fears around driving include
Motorways: A person is fine driving on back roads but feels out of control because there is nowhere to stop on a motorway.
Speed: Up to a certain speed is fine driving, but over that threshold, panic sets in. Unfortunately going slower than the speed limit can often be more dangerous because other drivers may get irritated and start driving more erratically making your anxiety worse.
Tunnels: Driving through a tunnel can make a person feel claustrophobic. Again there is no escape if the vehicle breaks down or they have a panic attack.
Bridges: Some drivers suffer from full fight or flight when driving across a tall or long bridge. The feeling that they are about to swerve off and through the barrier makes them no-go areas for some people.
Getting lost: In this modern age with Google Maps, SatNavs and countless other techs, the fear of getting lost is still common even though the driver has never been lost.
Signs and symptoms of fear of driving
Signs and symptoms of fear of driving can manifest in various ways. Individuals experiencing driving anxiety often struggle with persistent self-doubt, despite having passed their test. They may attribute their success to luck rather than their abilities, leading to a constant fear that they will have a panic attack, break down or get lost. They are embarrassed that they can’t drive and make excuses as to why they can’t go to events or family get-togethers.
Additionally, individuals with a fear of driving may have difficulty accepting stressful parts of their life and they are not coping and may be overly sensitive to criticism, viewing it as confirmation of their perceived inadequacies. Recognizing these signs is crucial in addressing driving anxiety and developing a more positive mindset towards one's abilities.
11 tips on how to overcome a fear of driving
1. What is in your stress bucket?
Take time to reflect on all the things in your life creating stress. Write out the influences you have control over and those you don’t. Learn to accept you cannot change these but you can come up with solutions to help solve problems within your control. If the problem is another person, look at how this person is causing the problem. Is it just your value or belief creating this barrier?
2. Learn to calm down and self-soothe
Be gentle with yourself. Accept that you have this problem and learn to still the mind using deep breathing and mindfulness techniques. Practice being in the now and stop yourself being drawn down the maelstrom of negative thinking. Listen to relaxation music or hypnotherapy MP3s and get proper sleep.
Download a free copy of My Relaxation to sleep well here.
3. Set realistic goals
If your fear of driving is so bad that you’re not driving at all, then look at what you need to get you to just sit in the driving seat. You don’t have to go anywhere. Break down your tasks into achievable steps and set clear, realistic goals for yourself, and a large period, don’t rush. For example, when I started to drive again after 13 years, I knew I had to stop my amygdala from setting off the alarm bells, so the first step was to just drive down the road and back. Each week, I went further, around the block, then the whole estate, then the west side of town, next the whole of the town, and eventually to the next town, gradually building up my confidence.
4. Recognize triggers
Every fear of driving client is different, but learning to recognize events or places that trigger the anxiety is very helpful. One client realised that the road which always triggered her fear of driving went past the house of an old boyfriend. Subconsciously she felt guilty that her husband never learned about the relationship which happened years before they met, and just telling him about it unburdened her and she never had another panic attack on that route.
5. Challenge negative thoughts
When sat in the driving seat, my fear would scream at me that I would die. I learnt that this was the subconscious fight and flight response becoming too sensitive and not paying too much attention to it. One way I dealt with it was to slap my hand every time I was thinking negatively and then reframe the thought to what I wanted to achieve – my independence. Using the NLP swish technique helps many of my clients focus more on the desired outcome.
6. Use technology
Many people with fear of driving worry about getting lost especially when they are driving to a new place. They worry that they won’t find somewhere to park. They worry that they won’t have the correct change for the car park. Technology can be your friend. Before I set off somewhere new I always drive it using Google Street. I see which lane I need to get in before a roundabout or junction. I look out for landmarks and make mental notes about where and when to turn. I use parking apps to see which car parks are busy and to pay when I arrive.
7. Give up smoking
Research shows that smoking can trigger a panic attack, and that’s partly because shallow quick breathing is an indicator of danger, which sets off the panic. Several of my clients were smoking when their panic first occurred. They weren’t aware of what triggered the fear of driving but when I delved further, they remembered lighting up and taking a long drag before it happened. Smoking also causes inflammation and depression, as well as the long list of other medical problems.
8. Don’t always drive with other people
It may seem counterintuitive because clients with a fear of driving often take along a partner or friend in the belief that they can drive them home if they experience a panic attack. Often though the subconscious feels as if you’re being judged by them. They don’t truly understand your fear. If anything, let them drive you to an empty car park, they get out and let you practice in peace. They can drive you back if you so wish.
9. Seek feedback
Once you improve your anxiety and start driving again, get a driving instructor to sit with you on a refresher lesson. When I explained to mine what I had experienced and how I overcame it his feedback was that he would never have believed it ever a problem as I drove with such confidence.
10. Practice self-care
Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's exercising, meditating, spending time with loved ones, or pursuing hobbies. Set boundaries to protect your time and energy, and prioritize activities that support your overall well-being. By taking care of yourself, you'll be better equipped to handle stress and overcome the fear of driving.
11. Celebrate your successes
Pat yourself on the back when you achieve something, no matter how big or small. Celebrating your successes can boost your morale and motivate you to keep striving towards your goals. Every time I practised driving and I felt calm and in control I patted myself on the back, and I encourage my clients to do so. It may be that no one else is going to do it for you.
Start your driving journey today
Fear of driving may feel overwhelming, but you don't have to face it alone. Take the first step towards overcoming anxiety by implementing these strategies in your life. Whether you're trying to pass your driving test, or someone who’s currently only driving A roads because dual carriageways and motorways are overwhelming, know that you have the power to change. If you're ready to embark on a new journey, book a free consultation today. And even if you don’t feel ready yet to make that jump, my book “Driving Me Crazy – overcome the Fear of Driving is available on Amazon.
Read more from Penelope Ling
Penelope Ling, Solution-focused Hypnotherapist
Penelope Ling BA is a solution-focused hypnotherapist and author. She became a specialist in phobias having many as a child and a fear of driving as an adult, which left her unable to drive for 13 years. Having conquered those fears during training, the decision to help others overcome their limitations was simple. She helps her clients overcome their fears, and phobias achieving a more fulfilling anxiety-free life.
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